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Religion
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Title: Belief-O-Matic
Source: Belief-O-Matic
URL Source: http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html
Published: Apr 20, 2005
Author: Unknonw
Post Date: 2005-04-20 10:36:46 by crack monkey
Keywords: Belief-O-Matic
Views: 2390
Comments: 87

Here's an interesting site that was up on El Pee. It tells you if you belong to the proper religion or not. It doesn't tell you if you are going to hell, but it still seems useful. Here is the link:

Belief-O-Matic

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holy sh!t, like flint, i'm 100% orthodox judaism! and islamic 97%!

christine  posted on  2005-04-20   11:40:57 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

LOL! What a combo.

Esso  posted on  2005-04-20   11:42:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

I guess I should just shoot myself and see if I can collect the virgins.

lol - all I can look forward to is passing out pamplets door to door.

Lod  posted on  2005-04-20   11:42:55 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

i'm 100% orthodox judaism! and islamic 97%!

Are you a virgin?

Flintlock  posted on  2005-04-20   11:54:49 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

all I can look forward to is passing out pamplets door to door.

With Michael Jackson

Flintlock  posted on  2005-04-20   11:58:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

I came in with Jehovah's Witness at 94%--in SECOND place. I was a Mainline or Conservative Christian 100% (I don't think that is the 'official' words that was used.

rowdee  posted on  2005-04-20   11:58:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

holy sh!t, like flint, i'm 100% orthodox judaism! and islamic 97%!

LOL...............ain't you just special!!! What a combo!

rowdee  posted on  2005-04-20   12:00:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

I took it again and I'm 51% Jewish, 47% moslem and now only 13% Catholic. I lost a point here. I score high as a Unitarian, a Protestant and as a Qaker.

crack monkey  posted on  2005-04-20   12:01:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

I'm an Orthodox Jew/Islam.

I guess I should just shoot myself and see if I can collect the virgins.

Trace got 100% as a Catholic Alter Boy. He got 97% as a Bush worshiper.

crack monkey  posted on  2005-04-20   12:04:21 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Hi there.

This May's Reader's Digest has an article called "Fallout" about the above ground atomic bomb tests at Yucca Flat, Nevada during the fifties and sixties and how they affected the residents of Idaho, especially those in the Emmett area of the state.

The folks in Gem county are trying to get fedgov to include Idaho on the list of states where cancer victims, or their families, are compenstated $50,000 for being used as lab rats during the cold war...

FYI

Lod  posted on  2005-04-20   12:12:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

i used to be. :P

christine  posted on  2005-04-20   12:44:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

time to re-evaluate my beliefs. :P

christine  posted on  2005-04-20   12:46:21 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

I came out %100 liberal Quaker, and %100 mainline to liberal Protestant. Color me surprised!

Elliott Jackalope  posted on  2005-04-20   13:13:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Trace got 100% as a Catholic Alter Boy.

That sounds like a religious mandate.

Flintlock  posted on  2005-04-20   13:29:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

100 percent neo-pagan, 94 percent Jainist. I guess I get to keep my Thor's hammer for awhile.

Indrid Cold  posted on  2005-04-20   13:37:19 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

holy sh!t, like flint, i'm 100% orthodox judaism! and islamic 97%!

Shalom, Salaam, looks like I'm in the same club.
I am pondering which to join, I think I look more dashing as a sheik than a Lubavitch.

1776  posted on  2005-04-20   13:50:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

But what good is having Thor's hammer if you never get to smack anybody with it? What's the point of a hammer if you never smite any infidels? Heck, might as well be Thor's feather for all the good it's doing.

Elliott Jackalope  posted on  2005-04-20   14:08:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

me thinks something strange is going on here. it's some sort of mind control conspiracy.

christine  posted on  2005-04-20   14:13:50 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Check this out. I have no idea what it means.

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Nontheist (97%)
3. Secular Humanism (97%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (85%)
5. Theravada Buddhism (83%)
6. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (80%)
7. Liberal Quakers (79%)
8. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (75%)
9. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (72%)
10. Bahá'í Faith (71%)
11. Jehovah's Witness (62%)
12. Neo-Pagan (57%)
13. New Thought (48%)
14. Eastern Orthodox (45%)
15. Islam (45%)
16. Orthodox Judaism (45%)
17. Roman Catholic (45%)
18. Sikhism (45%)
19. Mahayana Buddhism (40%)
20. Hinduism (36%)
21. Jainism (36%)
22. Orthodox Quaker (36%)
23. Reform Judaism (36%)
24. Scientology (36%)
25. Taoism (34%)
26. New Age(29%)
27. Seventh Day Adventist (22%)

Esso  posted on  2005-04-20   14:30:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Oh, thank Bog! Another non-theist to keep me company.

Mr Nuke Buzzcut  posted on  2005-04-20   14:47:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Bahá'í Faith

I think I wanna be one of them.

I don't know what it is, but the wiggly-squiqqleys in the name are kinda cool.

Esso  posted on  2005-04-20   14:48:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Another non-theist to keep me company.

Can we at least add some squiggly things to the name?

Esso  posted on  2005-04-20   14:51:42 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Can we at least add some squiggly things to the name?

Well, Esso has two squigglies already. But, if you must be a glutton, we could add two of the other squigglies and call ourselves "Essoñiañs".

Mr Nuke Buzzcut  posted on  2005-04-20   15:01:57 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Emmett's way over on the western side of the state--fairly close to the Oregon- Idaho border. My brother's read quite a bit about that whole era.

rowdee  posted on  2005-04-20   15:06:05 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

My results really didnt surprise me..

1. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (100%)
2. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (98%)

3. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (81%) 4. Orthodox Quaker (80%)
5. Bah33;'33; Faith (70%)
6. Jehovah's Witness (69%)
7. Islam (60%)
8. Orthodox Judaism (60%)
9. Liberal Quakers (58%)

10. Seventh Day Adventist (56%) 11. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (54%)
12. Eastern Orthodox (54%)
13. Roman Catholic (54%)
14. Reform Judaism (46%)
15. Unitarian Universalism (45%)
16. Sikhism (41%)
17. New Thought (32%)
18. Mahayana Buddhism (30%) 19. Theravada Buddhism (30%)
20. Jainism (29%)
21. Nontheist (27%)
22. New Age (26%)
23. Scientology (23%)
24. Neo-Pagan (22%)
25. Secular Humanism (20%)
26. Taoism (20%)
27. Hinduism (20%)

Zipporah  posted on  2005-04-20   15:38:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (100%)

Me too, but my second was Quaker (89%).

robin  posted on  2005-04-20   15:43:41 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Some of the questions IMO were confusing though..

Zipporah  posted on  2005-04-20   15:45:10 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Yes they were. Maybe I'm just a confused Quaker.

robin  posted on  2005-04-20   15:48:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Me too, but my second was Quaker (89%).

Me too. I think I scored higher than you. Mid 90's or something. The family of my grandmother on my dad's side were big time Quakers. Maybe I'll go check it out. I'm going to see if there is a church around here. Might be interesting to see it.

I did see a Quaker Church in Hampstead in the UK. It was from the early 1800s with the wooden benches and short doors and classic style English church yard. I also eat the oats for breakfast sometimes.

crack monkey  posted on  2005-04-20   15:50:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Some of the questions IMO were confusing though..

I know. That's why I kept hitting the don't know, don't care, doesn't apply button. And don't even ask me about that 'how important is this to you' button, I skipped that altogether.

That might explain my somewhat curious results.

Esso  posted on  2005-04-20   15:55:02 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Unitarian Universalism (100%) 2. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (96%) 3. Liberal Quakers (95%) 4. Orthodox Quaker (85%) 5. New Age (81%) 6. Neo-Pagan (80%) 7. Secular Humanism (73%) 8. Mahayana Buddhism (66%) 9. Reform Judaism (62%) 10. Theravada Buddhism (61%) 11. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (59%) 12. Taoism (58%) 13. Seventh Day Adventist (55%) 14. New Thought (52%) 15. Scientology (51%) 16. Bahá'í Faith (50%) 17. Hinduism (49%) 18. Eastern Orthodox (49%) 19. Roman Catholic (49%) 20. Nontheist (46%) 21. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (42%) 22. Orthodox Judaism (42%) 23. Jainism (38%) 24. Sikhism (37%) 25. Islam (36%) 26. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (30%) 27. Jehovah's Witness (18%)

Multinational????? i though his territory was all of East Cinciinati?

hfrancis  posted on  2005-04-20   17:26:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

http://www.bahai.org/

hfrancis  posted on  2005-04-20   17:29:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

i'm 100% orthodox judaism! and islamic 97%!

Sell-out :)

Bayonne  posted on  2005-04-20   18:55:23 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Multinational????? i though his territory was all of East Cinciinati?

Mine was really similar to yours. I think my mahayana buddaism was higher and my new age and pagan was a little lower, but basically the same as yours. My judaism and islam was about 50%.

crack monkey  posted on  2005-04-20   19:16:28 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Here's mine again. It comes up different everytime I do it. That must mean that I'm evolving.

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Mahayana Buddhism (96%))
3. Liberal Quakers (96%))
4. Neo-Pagan (91%))
5. Hinduism (85%) )
6. Jainism (82%))
7. New Age (82%) )
8. Theravada Buddhism (78%) )
9. Reform Judaism (75%) )
10. Taoism (74%) )
11. Bahá'í Faith (71%) )
12. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (71%) )
13. Sikhism (69%) )
14. Scientology (69%) )
15. New Thought (68%))
16. Secular Humanism (60%) )
17. Orthodox Quaker (58%) )
18. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (57%) )
19. Orthodox Judaism (53%) )
20. Islam (47%) )
21. Nontheist (36%))
22. Seventh Day Adventist (32%) )
23. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (29%) )
24. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (27%) )
25. Jehovah's Witness (18%) )
26. Eastern Orthodox (16%) )
27. Roman Catholic (16%) )

My Protestant dropped down to the bottom this time and my Catholic picked up three points.

crack monkey  posted on  2005-04-20   19:26:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

"Essoñiañs"

How about "Eßøñiåçs"? Lotsa squiggleys there, and as everyone knows; good sqiuggleys make for good religion.

Esso  posted on  2005-04-20   19:29:40 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

"Eßøñiåçs"

Two questions.

How do you pronounce it?

Will the church services be nice and short?

crack monkey  posted on  2005-04-20   19:36:02 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Essoñiañs"

Can Dakmar be the Pope of the Essoñiañs?

crack monkey  posted on  2005-04-20   19:37:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Pope? Ahhhhhhh!!! Too much responsibility!

ps, stay away from the souse loaf

That's a 3 year old story, but for some reason I remembered seeing "souse loaf" in the deli, and remembered it sounded disgusting.

....

I just looked it up, I guess souse is same thing as head cheese, which I really wasn't sure what that was either.

Dakmar  posted on  2005-04-20   19:49:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Pope? Ahhhhhhh!!! Too much responsibility!

Nonsense.

All you've got to do is drive around in the Pope-mobile, mumble and throw water on people.

Flintlock  posted on  2005-04-20   19:53:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

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