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Religion
See other Religion Articles

Title: Belief-O-Matic
Source: Belief-O-Matic
URL Source: http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html
Published: Apr 20, 2005
Author: Unknonw
Post Date: 2005-04-20 10:36:46 by crack monkey
Keywords: Belief-O-Matic
Views: 2686
Comments: 87

Here's an interesting site that was up on El Pee. It tells you if you belong to the proper religion or not. It doesn't tell you if you are going to hell, but it still seems useful. Here is the link:

Belief-O-Matic

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 75.

#7. To: crack monkey (#0)

I was amazed to learn that I'm a Jehovah's Witness.

Lod  posted on  2005-04-20   11:32:56 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: lodwick, Crack Monkey (#7)

I was amazed to learn that I'm a Jehovah's Witness.

I'm an Orthodox Jew/Islam.

I guess I should just shoot myself and see if I can collect the virgins.

Flintlock  posted on  2005-04-20   11:37:40 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Flintlock, Esso, crack monkey, lodwick (#8)

holy sh!t, like flint, i'm 100% orthodox judaism! and islamic 97%!

christine  posted on  2005-04-20   11:40:57 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#24. To: christine, Flintlock, zipporah (#9)

holy sh!t, like flint, i'm 100% orthodox judaism! and islamic 97%!

Shalom, Salaam, looks like I'm in the same club.
I am pondering which to join, I think I look more dashing as a sheik than a Lubavitch.

1776  posted on  2005-04-20   13:50:00 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#26. To: 1776, crack monkey, Hmmmmm, ALL (#24)

me thinks something strange is going on here. it's some sort of mind control conspiracy.

christine  posted on  2005-04-20   14:13:50 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#27. To: christine (#26)

Check this out. I have no idea what it means.

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Nontheist (97%)
3. Secular Humanism (97%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (85%)
5. Theravada Buddhism (83%)
6. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (80%)
7. Liberal Quakers (79%)
8. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (75%)
9. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (72%)
10. Bahá'í Faith (71%)
11. Jehovah's Witness (62%)
12. Neo-Pagan (57%)
13. New Thought (48%)
14. Eastern Orthodox (45%)
15. Islam (45%)
16. Orthodox Judaism (45%)
17. Roman Catholic (45%)
18. Sikhism (45%)
19. Mahayana Buddhism (40%)
20. Hinduism (36%)
21. Jainism (36%)
22. Orthodox Quaker (36%)
23. Reform Judaism (36%)
24. Scientology (36%)
25. Taoism (34%)
26. New Age(29%)
27. Seventh Day Adventist (22%)

Esso  posted on  2005-04-20   14:30:56 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#28. To: Esso (#27)

Oh, thank Bog! Another non-theist to keep me company.

Mr Nuke Buzzcut  posted on  2005-04-20   14:47:58 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#30. To: Mr Nuke Buzzcut (#28)

Another non-theist to keep me company.

Can we at least add some squiggly things to the name?

Esso  posted on  2005-04-20   14:51:42 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#31. To: Esso (#30)

Can we at least add some squiggly things to the name?

Well, Esso has two squigglies already. But, if you must be a glutton, we could add two of the other squigglies and call ourselves "Essoñiañs".

Mr Nuke Buzzcut  posted on  2005-04-20   15:01:57 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#44. To: Mr Nuke Buzzcut, Dakmar (#31)

"Essoñiañs"

How about "Eßøñiåçs"? Lotsa squiggleys there, and as everyone knows; good sqiuggleys make for good religion.

Esso  posted on  2005-04-20   19:29:40 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#46. To: Esso (#44)

Essoñiañs"

Can Dakmar be the Pope of the Essoñiañs?

crack monkey  posted on  2005-04-20   19:37:39 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#47. To: crack monkey, Esso (#46)

Pope? Ahhhhhhh!!! Too much responsibility!

ps, stay away from the souse loaf

That's a 3 year old story, but for some reason I remembered seeing "souse loaf" in the deli, and remembered it sounded disgusting.

....

I just looked it up, I guess souse is same thing as head cheese, which I really wasn't sure what that was either.

Dakmar  posted on  2005-04-20   19:49:39 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#58. To: Dakmar (#47)

In Scotland, they serve up the tasty??? Haggis which, apparently, is all those parts of a sheep no sane (or sober) human would ordinarily consume. They grind all that up, mix it with oatmeal and spices, stuff it all into a sheep's stomach and bake it up to a yummy goodness then parading it into the dining room accompanied with bagpipes and champagne (and much more scotch whisky). After the scotch, I went to Burger King.

wbales  posted on  2005-04-20   20:10:33 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#63. To: wbales (#58)

No one is forcing Scotland on ya lad. I wouldn't bet real money cause you might just be a ringer, but in the spirit of enquiry might I, uh, ask if I can have about tree fiddy?

Dakmar  posted on  2005-04-20   20:20:08 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#65. To: Dakmar (#63)

No one is forcing Scotland on ya lad. I wouldn't bet real money cause you might just be a ringer, but in the spirit of enquiry might I, uh, ask if I can have about tree fiddy?

Sheppards Pie is one of the really good dishes they have. It's mashed potatos with beef and gravey on top with a pie crust on top of that. Sort of like a beef wellington. Really great. There was something else they ate that looked like a tub of lard. It was really gross.

crack monkey  posted on  2005-04-20   20:25:16 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#69. To: crack monkey (#65)

If you're cooking something over a big fire in a heavy pan, you'd want the meat near the bottom.

Dakmar  posted on  2005-04-20   20:31:43 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#72. To: Dakmar (#69)

I was looking at the buddhist part of the Belief-O-Matic site. There were some meditation pantings that were supposed to shut off your mind. The one on the left looked like the top view of a Chow dog sticking out its blue tongue. The rest of the dog is of course off the top of the picture. I can't figure out what the red one on the right looks like.

crack monkey  posted on  2005-04-20   21:01:11 ET  (1 image) Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#74. To: crack monkey, JHoffa_, Esso (#72)

Can Palistineans legally use peyote?

Dakmar  posted on  2005-04-20   21:06:06 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#75. To: Dakmar (#74)

Can Palistineans legally use peyote?

Yes and no. It depends.

crack monkey  posted on  2005-04-20   22:40:15 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


Replies to Comment # 75.

#77. To: crack monkey (#75)

Non-Indian peyote case could head to Supreme Court

Dakmar  posted on  2005-04-20 22:46:41 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


End Trace Mode for Comment # 75.

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