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Title: Belief-O-Matic
Source:
Belief-O-Matic
URL Source: http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html
Published: Apr 20, 2005
Author: Unknonw
Post Date: 2005-04-20 10:36:46 by crack monkey
Keywords: Belief-O-Matic
Views: 1714
Comments: 87
Here's an interesting site that was up on El Pee. It tells you if you belong to the proper religion or not. It doesn't tell you if you are going to hell, but it still seems useful. Here is the link:
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#47. To: crack monkey, Esso (#46)
Pope? Ahhhhhhh!!! Too much responsibility! ps, stay away from the souse loaf That's a 3 year old story, but for some reason I remembered seeing "souse loaf" in the deli, and remembered it sounded disgusting. .... I just looked it up, I guess souse is same thing as head cheese, which I really wasn't sure what that was either.
Nonsense. All you've got to do is drive around in the Pope-mobile, mumble and throw water on people.
I've been arrested every time I've done that before, why is now the right time all the sudden?
When I clicked the souse loaf link it said "FORBIDDEN".
We could get him one of those super soakers.
Popes wear funny hats. Do you have one?
LOL! You're only a few hours from Cincinnati.. the head cheese capital of the US.. germans.. lots of them.
I've taken this test before, but I'll try it again just for kicks. Some idiot telemarketer just called, the fuck*r kept lying to me, all I wanted to know was what company he was with. He must have had a really crappy phone, because his voice kept cutting in and out, but he wouldn't shut up. I informed him of the situation at least twice but he just kept getting louder and more belligerent. Back To Topic At Hand: what?
Errr, it's *spiritual* smiting. Thor smites them, umm, from Asgard. Yeah, that's it! And when he swings his hammer, the unbeliever will have all sorts of...bad luck. Well, never mind. [shuffles slowly off]
In Scotland, they serve up the tasty??? Haggis which, apparently, is all those parts of a sheep no sane (or sober) human would ordinarily consume. They grind all that up, mix it with oatmeal and spices, stuff it all into a sheep's stomach and bake it up to a yummy goodness then parading it into the dining room accompanied with bagpipes and champagne (and much more scotch whisky). After the scotch, I went to Burger King.
Blech.. sounds something like goetta.. it's oats, ground beef and ground pork..
Not any really funny hats. I have a floppy leather hat that doesn't look good on me but makes a nice wall decoration. Fringe jacket still fits. :)
"Eßøñiåçs" Essoniacs. Only as long as the booze holds out. Yes, his participation is mandatory. Time for you to step up to the plate Dak, ol' buddy. It is strictly forbidden. Looks like we got us a religion, go ahead and send me the money and I'll get started on the bar...uh, church. See y'all Sunday.
Maybe you could pound nails with it.
No one is forcing Scotland on ya lad. I wouldn't bet real money cause you might just be a ringer, but in the spirit of enquiry might I, uh, ask if I can have about tree fiddy?
There is a french dish that is a cooked section of pig intestine from the part half way between pig food and pig shit. It smells like pig shit. I can't remember the name. I'm not making this up. I really saw a guy eat it once.
Sheppards Pie is one of the really good dishes they have. It's mashed potatos with beef and gravey on top with a pie crust on top of that. Sort of like a beef wellington. Really great. There was something else they ate that looked like a tub of lard. It was really gross.
I think they call that Paris (where also a lot a wierd stuff is eaten) delicacy Le Pig Shit. The best food in Europe is in Italy (excepting squiggly sea critters).
Shepherds Pie is a cultural treasure! Eat Shit And Die You Elitist, Candlesniffing Barbarian! 31x(!)
If you read the Stephen King book "The Stand" the old black woman eats something called pig squeezings. I think this is the same thing. It's an old peasant dish that some really fancy restuarants in paris feature sometimes. When people go out they eat it sort of on a dare.
If you're cooking something over a big fire in a heavy pan, you'd want the meat near the bottom.
You're right, I think the beef was at the bottom and the mashed potatos were on top. In fact, I think the best I ever had didn't have a pie crust, the potatos were just browned until they were crisp.
"What do you mean IF I win the fight?"
I was looking at the buddhist part of the Belief-O-Matic site. There were some meditation pantings that were supposed to shut off your mind. The one on the left looked like the top view of a Chow dog sticking out its blue tongue. The rest of the dog is of course off the top of the picture. I can't figure out what the red one on the right looks like.
Panties, Yes! What, am I the only straight person posting here? Send at least 56 dollars for ironclad proof, y'all.
Can Palistineans legally use peyote?
Yes and no. It depends.
If you're Pope, you can get away with it. Just mumble something about the will of God and keep throwing water!
Non-Indian peyote case could head to Supreme Court
i need re-programming apparently. ;)
Maybe you should ask Ronnie James Dio if he wants to be pope. That would actually be pretty cool, music-wise anyway.
I hear Trent Reznor's on the short list.......
Maybe Michael Jackson could be co-Pope and they could share hats, outfits, and servants.
I think Michael just wants to be a Priest.
Aw gee, now you've got me feeling like a big bully. I just think Thor needs to work a little on that whole, er, "potency" thing. Time to break out the spirtual Viagra if he wants to get peoples attention. Pull off a few miracles, stuff like that. And a well-timed public smiting can work wonders on non-believers. Look, if you get a chance to pass a message along to Thor, tell him that I suggest publicly smacking one of these crooked CEO's, live on TV. Appear out of nowhere, bop him a good one, and deliver a brief message. Then disappear. Just think on it a while. Try it on. Get back to me, we'll do lunch.
Isn't it disgraceful that a pop star and role model like Michael Jackson is caught behaving like a priest?
How do you pronounce it? Will the church services be nice and short? And are the chicks HOT?!?
Of course, silly.
1. Eastern Orthodox (100%) Given my shift over the past few years, not at all surprised by the top two. Not surprised to see the other Orthodoxies represented in my top ten. I knew one of the Eastern Religions would make the top ten- wasn't betting on Hindu.
#48. To: Dakmar (#47)
Pope? Ahhhhhhh!!! Too much responsibility!
#49. To: crack monkey, Esso (#48)
forgot to ping you
#50. To: crack monkey (#45)
#51. To: Flintlock (#48)
#52. To: Dakmar (#47)
#53. To: Flintlock (#48)
All you've got to do is drive around in the Pope-mobile, mumble and throw water on people.
#54. To: Dakmar (#50)
#55. To: Dakmar (#47)
I just looked it up, I guess souse is same thing as head cheese, which I really wasn't sure what that was either.
#56. To: crack monkey (#0)
#57. To: Elliott Jackalope (#25)
But what good is having Thor's hammer if you never get to smack anybody with it? What's the point of a hammer if you never smite any infidels?
#58. To: Dakmar (#47)
#59. To: wbales (#58)
They grind all that up, mix it with oatmeal and spices, stuff it all into a sheep's stomach
#60. To: crack monkey, christine (#54)
Popes wear funny hats. Do you have one?
#61. To: crack monkey, Dakmar, Flintlock (#45)
Two questions. How do you pronounce it?
Will the church services be nice and short?
Can Dakmar be the Pope of the Eßøñiåçs?
Pope? Ahhhhhhh!!! Too much responsibility!
ps, stay away from the souse loaf
All you've got to do is drive around in the Pope-mobile, mumble and throw water on people.
#62. To: Elliott Jackalope (#25)
But what good is having Thor's hammer if you never get to smack anybody with it? What's the point of a hammer if you never smite any infidels?
#63. To: wbales (#58)
#64. To: Zipporah (#59)
#65. To: Dakmar (#63)
No one is forcing Scotland on ya lad. I wouldn't bet real money cause you might just be a ringer, but in the spirit of enquiry might I, uh, ask if I can have about tree fiddy?
#66. To: crack monkey (#64)
There is a french dish that is a cooked section of pig intestine from the part half way between pig food and pig shit. It smells like pig shit. I can't remember the name. I'm not making this up. I really saw a guy eat it once.
#67. To: crack monkey (#65)
#68. To: wbales (#66)
#69. To: crack monkey (#65)
#70. To: Dakmar (#69)
If you're cooking something over a big fire in a heavy pan, you'd want the meat near the bottom.
#71. To: crack monkey (#70)
#72. To: Dakmar (#69)
#73. To: crack monkey (#72)
#74. To: crack monkey, JHoffa_, Esso (#72)
#75. To: Dakmar (#74)
Can Palistineans legally use peyote?
#76. To: Dakmar (#51)
why is now the right time all the sudden?
#77. To: crack monkey (#75)
#78. To: Bayonne (#41)
#79. To: Flintlock (#76)
#80. To: Dakmar (#79)
Maybe you should ask Ronnie James Dio if he wants to be pope.
#81. To: Flintlock (#80)
#82. To: Dakmar (#81)
Maybe Michael Jackson could be co-Pope
#83. To: Indrid Cold (#57)
#84. To: Flintlock (#82)
I think Michael just wants to be a Priest.
#85. To: crack monkey, Esso (#45)
Two questions.
#86. To: Mr Nuke Buzzcut (#85)
#87. To: crack monkey (#0)
2. Roman Catholic (100%)
3. Seventh Day Adventist (85%)
4. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (80%)
5. Orthodox Quaker (77%)
6. Hinduism (67%)
7. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (58%)
8. Jehovah's Witness (50%)
9. Orthodox Judaism (48%)
10. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (45%)
11. Liberal Quakers (38%)
12. Islam (37%)
13. Sikhism (36%)
14. Unitarian Universalism (34%)
15. Jainism (33%)
16. Bah33;'33; Faith (30%)
17. Mahayana Buddhism (22%)
18. Theravada Buddhism (20%)
19. Neo-Pagan (19%)
20. Reform Judaism (16%)
21. Secular Humanism (16%)
22. New Age (15%)
23. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (14%)
24. Nontheist (13%)
25. New Thought (9%)
26. Scientology (8%)
27. Taoism (7%)
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