White House spokesperson Tony Snow announced today that the Federal Government has downsized the first ten amendments, often called "The Bill Of Rights." (TBOR)
"The downsizing will be reflected in the latest printed editions of the Constitution and TBOR that are issued by the Government Printing Office," according to Mr. Snow.
Henceforth, the official citation of each amendment will be reduced by only a half, so that the Eighth Amendment, for instance, which happens to protect us against cruel and unusual punishments, will henceforth be known as Amendment 7.5, while the Fourth Amendment, which protects us against illegal searches and seizures, such as wiretapping, will now be known as Amendment 3.5. The First Amendment will be cited as Amendment 0.5.
"This change was necessary, to reflect the new realities of twentieth century democracy," said Mr. Snow. "This downsizing will not afffect the effectiveness or utility of the Amendments, and is not to be viewed as a downgrade," he said.
According to Mr. Snow, the President's decision is the result of his review of a report issued by the office of Vice President Cheney, who was commmissioned by the President to look into ways to streamline the Federal Government and to increase its efficiency. According to Mr. Snow, Vice President Cheney said that the new proposal is a "no-brainer."
Mr. Snow read an official statement regarding the downsizing, from the President:
"As a Nation, we cherish the values of free speech, equality, and religious freedom, but there is no sense in getting carried away. There is a limit to the value of anything, and we, your Federal Government, can't let antiquated notions get in the way of our sworn duty to protect you, the people, from those who would do harm to you and your loved ones."
According to Mr. Snow, downsizing of the remaining amendments will be carried out in the next few years.