See other 4play Articles
Title: YertleTurtle's Match.com profile
Source:
[None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jan 13, 2007
Author: Bob Wallace
Post Date: 2007-01-13 05:38:05 by YertleTurtle
Keywords: None
Views: 210
Comments: 19
I know, I don't really have a http://Match.com profile. But I have looked at the place. My ex told me she had a profile there, and actually had a few dates, although none of them worked out. It made me curious. I looked at hundreds of women, and found all of them boring. "Attractive, smart, educated, funny, love life...." Yawn. Now, if I was to create a profile there, this is what it would be: "Smart and lazy guy would prefer to work 20 hours a week, but can't seem to get away with it. I sleep with a pug who snores. You will, too." What would your profile be? Don't bore me!
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#1. To: YertleTurtle (#0)
Perpetually angry and frustrated wiseass seeks same to rail against injustice with. Must be smart, funny, attractive, and have enough income to support your share of the bills. Must be able to cope with articulate rage and unpredictable mood swings. I'm caustic, obnoxious, abrasive and frustrating, but I've got a good beat and you can dance to me. If you have a thick skin, a sense of humor, and a willingness to deal with a borderline crazy person, call (555)-NUT-CASE and we'll get together and compare prescriptions.
 | Gold and silver are real money, paper is but a promise. |
#2. To: YertleTurtle (#0)
8 years ago, I had my life sentence commuted to time served, plus child support. Now I'm ready for Miss Right to sweep me off my feet and show me what I been missing all these years.
When they come for your guns, take theirs.
#3. To: Critter (#2)
I see you'll get the babe in truckloads! I guess mine should include "can sleep sitting up, a talent I learned in middle school."
I had my life sentence commuted
"We become what we behold. We shape our tools and thereafter our tools shape us." -- Marshall McLuhan, after Alexander Pope and William Blake.
#4. To: YertleTurtle (#0)
Mk-Ultra experiment gone horribly wrong, not suitable for human contact. Believed armed, dangerous, and incredibly foul-mouthed. Enjoys moonlit walks on the beach, slow jazz, and collecting things.
When the going gets weird the weird turn pro. - Hunter S Thompson
#5. To: Looking for love in all the wrong places (#4)
great ads bump
"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win." Sun-tzu
#6. To: Elliott Jackalope (#1)
omg, that's hilarious.
#7. To: YertleTurtle (#0)
the question is, do you snore? btw, mine would include "must believe 911 was an inside job." :P
"Smart and lazy guy would prefer to work 20 hours a week, but can't seem to get away with it. I sleep with a pug who snores. You will, too."
#8. To: christine (#7)
Yes, but since I can't hear it, I don't care. I do, however, get elbows in the ribs.
the question is, do you snore?
"We become what we behold. We shape our tools and thereafter our tools shape us." -- Marshall McLuhan, after Alexander Pope and William Blake.
#9. To: Dakmar (#4)
Dare I ask.. such as?
collecting things
#10. To: Zipporah (#9)
I deal in reality...and the reality is that I'm ready for love. I can chop lots of wood and can even climb a greased pole. I keep in shape by chasing chickens around my back yard. I keep my self clean and take baths weekly. I've always been partial to the name "Zipporah." Location: West Virginia, U.S.A.
Name: Earl
"We become what we behold. We shape our tools and thereafter our tools shape us." -- Marshall McLuhan, after Alexander Pope and William Blake.
#11. To: christine (#7)
Name: Fuad Ladies, I'm still available. I've been here for about 2 years. what gives? Don't ya wanna party with me? woohoo... They lowered my price twice already. I'm a red-hot special, come and get me. Location: San Bernadino, USA
"We become what we behold. We shape our tools and thereafter our tools shape us." -- Marshall McLuhan, after Alexander Pope and William Blake.
#12. To: Elliott Jackalope (#1)
lol!! You must be married already!
The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. – Tacitus
#13. To: Critter (#2)
very funny, turning bitterness into humor is a useful life skill; and good luck to you
I had my life sentence commuted to time served, plus child support.
The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. – Tacitus
#14. To: robin, Elliott Jackalope (#12)
I fit remarkably close to what EJ wrote. Only thing is, I'm frustratingly single and off the meds completely. ;0)
lol!! You must be married already!
"It is the old practice of despots to use a part of the people to keep the rest in order; and those who have once got an ascendency and possessed themselves of all the resources of the nation, their revenues and offices, have immense means for retaining their advantages." Thomas Jefferson to John Taylor, 1798
#15. To: BTP Holdings (#14)
be sure to mention that in your ad ;P
and off the meds completely.
The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. – Tacitus
#16. To: Zipporah (#9)
Dare I ask.. such as? Um, DVDs? CD's, books, and small statuary.
collecting things
When the going gets weird the weird turn pro. - Hunter S Thompson
#17. To: YertleTurtle (#3)
The honest truth is that when my divorce first started 8 years ago, I used a variation of that on my ICQ profile. I think I said: "I recently had my life sentence commuted to time served plus child support..." Anyway, I got dozens of propositions every day. It was unreal how many women were intruiged by "life sentence". They really thought I had just gotten out of jail for murder or something. lmao!
I see you'll get the babe in truckloads!
When they come for your guns, take theirs.
#18. To: YertleTurtle, Jethro Tull (#11)
Speaking of losers who can't get laid...
"I've been running from the devil and he hasn't caught me yet."--Jason Boland and the Stragglers.
#19. To: Critter (#17)
i knew exactly what you meant. :P
"I recently had my life sentence commuted
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest