HEY! You guys obviously don't understand the concept of the sport of Ice Driving in Texas. You may have enough Spam to have gotten Napoleon's army through the Russian winter or spare batteries that would send a rocketship to Jupiter and back, but let a inch of ice show up on the bridge, and --- Momma's Gotta Go To Walmart!! Many of us more experienced aficionados of Texas Ice Driving even keep special equipment for the few days of the sporting season. This usually consists of a '64 Plymouth Fury without a hood, a Lamesa High School football helmet, a 30' length of logging chain and 3 inebriated or otherwise brain damaged friends.
It's part social event, part olympic sport, and part rocket science. The cunning strategy of curling, the excitement of bumper cars, the shared comraderie and blood donations from friends and strangers alike! Ah, it's a rusting, crumpling, winter wonderland, where the goal is to make one's way to the nearest overpass, slow almost to a stop and then accelerate, trying to gain the pinnacle before sliding off and over the embankment. The first one to reach the top wins, regardless of the direction the car is facing.
Points are deducted for tire chains, four wheel drive, or having an IQ above the outside temperture. Extra points are rewarded for the thoughtfullness of having a case of Budwiser in the trunk for ballast, having tires of more than two different sizes, or borrowing your snotty neighbor's new Lexus ("It's a 'mergency, Vinny, no foolin' the missus is havin' us a nother kid!").
So, next time, just go out and have fun. Nobody will care if you have one of those caps with earmuffs; you'll be one of the few, the brave, the 'freezing-my-toocass-off'. Bring a bar-b-q pit if you think of it, and enough beer for everbody!
Lon & Kit
"I'm always homesick for places I've never been"