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Title: what would you do if I died?
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Published: Jan 23, 2007
Author: unknown
Post Date: 2007-01-23 23:34:14 by Critter
Keywords: None
Views: 141
Comments: 4
Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question. WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?" HUSBAND: "Of course I do." WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again." WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look) HUSBAND: (makes audible groan) WIFE: "Would you live in our house?" HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house." WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?" HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new." WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do" WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?" HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own." WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you? HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times." WIFE: "Would she use my clubs? HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed." WIFE: -- silence -- HUSBAND: "shit."
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#1. To: Critter (#0)
hahahahahahahaha
True story: someone I know was in bed with a woman, when he thought he realized something, jumped out of bed, groped for his clothes and said, "Geesh, I gotta get home!" The woman said, "Honey, you are home." He had forgot that the woman he was in bed with was his wife! (She's not his wife any more... :P)
Good lord. The thing I cannot understand is why people screw around on their spouses thinking they'll never get caught. Statistically, it is impossible for a man to keep a secret from his wife like that. This is why I will never stray on my wife. She can hear me thinking most of the time.
HUSBAND: "shit."
#2. To: Critter, christine (#0)
#3. To: Peetie Wheatstraw (#2)
 | This country's priorities are all fucked up. |
#4. To: TommyTheMadArtist (#3)
I once bought a very funny illustrated humor book on the differences between men and women for a somewhat uptight and "feminist" female co-worker (she is less uptight and less feminist now that she is married and the mother of three kids), of the type that could not be published now because of the strictures of political correctness. It had this contrast between men and women on "infidelity awareness": How he knows she's cheating: he surprises her while she's nude and in bed screwing a big black guy. [with illustration of the event] How she knows he's cheating: There's a hair there... [illustration of feminine hand daintily removing and examining single strand of blonde hair from husband's jacket] :P
This is why I will never stray on my wife. She can hear me thinking most of the time.
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