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All is Vanity
See other All is Vanity Articles

Title: YertleTurtle's profile at Speakeasy
Source: Speakeasy
URL Source: [None]
Published: Feb 10, 2007
Author: ??
Post Date: 2007-02-10 20:58:21 by YertleTurtle
Keywords: None
Views: 553
Comments: 9

YertleTurtle, also known by his given name of Bob Wallace is a rather dim-witted writer, formerly employed by http://LewRockwell.com as a comic writer. Being a un-educated and rather boring hack, Yertle was forced to suppliment his earnings as a columnist by working as a carpenter. One day in 2003, as he was working on the framing of a new house, his ladder collapsed under him, and he fell to the ground, heavily. As he fell, a co-worker on the roof above him dropped his hammer. The hammer landed on the prostrate Yertle's head, stunning him. As he arose from his stupor, a single, sudden thought entered his mind, a single thought that would change his life: "Death to all Semites!" Yertle did not hate the Jews. Yertle did not hate the Arabs. Rather, he found himself despising all of Abraham's towel-headed, talmud-clutching descendents. Yertle's anti-semitism got him kicked out of the libertarian movement, his girlfriend's house and http://Freerepublic.com His days of being a second-rate humorist on http://LewRockwell.com were over.

Yet Yertle did not despair. He moved on to his new home at http://Freedum4um.com Nowadays he spends his time listening to classic rock, posting his own articles on the 4um and playing with himself.


Poster Comment:

I occasionally read Speakeasy and rarely post there. It turns out the place has a fake Wikipedia site, which someone used to write profiles of all the members of Speakeasy. I recently found mine. I have no idea who wrote it.

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


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#1. To: YertleTurtle (#0)

on the 4um

it's written by one who is obsessed with all things 4um. ;)

christine  posted on  2007-02-10   21:13:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: YertleTurtle (#0)

occasionally read Speakeasy and rarely post there. It turns out the place has a fake Wikipedia site, which someone used to write profiles of all the members of Speakeasy. I recently found mine. I have no idea who wrote it.

Pretty halarious, Yert. Wasn't me.

I recall when I did a google search on tom 008 (my LP name) - never did that again.

And don't think that's me either.

tom007  posted on  2007-02-10   21:14:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: YertleTurtle (#0)

Nowadays he spends his time listening to classic rock, posting his own articles on the 4um and playing with himself.

Best wishes with both ventures - keep it up.

Dr.Ron Paul for President

Lod  posted on  2007-02-10   21:17:27 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: YertleTurtle (#0)

I recently found mine. I have no idea who wrote it.

This has the sticky fingers of Con Op all over it. Poor old sot; its sad getting both old and friendless simultaneously.

Jethro Tull  posted on  2007-02-10   21:21:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: lodwick (#3)

Nowadays he spends his time listening to classic rock, posting his own articles on the 4um and playing with himself.

Best wishes with both ventures - keep it up.

Actually there are three!

"We become what we behold. We shape our tools and thereafter our tools shape us." -- Marshall McLuhan, after Alexander Pope and William Blake.

YertleTurtle  posted on  2007-02-10   21:22:46 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: tom007 (#2)

I recall when I did a google search on tom 008 (my LP name) -

I don't remember you ever being tom 008, but maybe you are fooling again.

Diana  posted on  2007-02-10   21:25:10 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: YertleTurtle (#5)

Actually there are three!

I was supporting the active, not passive, endeavors - but, best wishes in everything yertle these crazy days.

Dr.Ron Paul for President

Lod  posted on  2007-02-10   21:28:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: Jethro Tull (#4)

Poor old sot

Snot is running down his nose, greasy fingers clutching shabby clothes. ;-)

"We become what we behold. We shape our tools and thereafter our tools shape us." -- Marshall McLuhan, after Alexander Pope and William Blake.

YertleTurtle  posted on  2007-02-10   21:31:49 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: YertleTurtle (#8)

One in the same :)

Jethro Tull  posted on  2007-02-10   21:34:09 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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