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Title: Looking for Mr. Wrong in All the Wrong Places
Source:
Dear Margo
URL Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/dear_margo/ ... 1/en_dm/margo_howard20070301_1
Published: Mar 1, 2007
Author: Dear Margo
Post Date: 2007-03-01 14:49:35 by a vast rightwing conspirator
Keywords: None
Views: 277
Comments: 6
Looking for Mr. Wrong in All the Wrong Places Thu Mar 1, 2:00 AM ET DEAR MARGO: I am an 18-year-old who finds herself attracted to middle-aged married men, gay men or those who are emotionally unavailable. It makes no sense to me because I have a good relationship with my father and am not looking for a "father figure." I simply find maturity and life experience incredibly sexy. I have no interest in "men" my age. They seem immature, irresponsible and generally incapable of carrying on a decent conversation. I have trouble motivating myself to be physically attracted to teenage guys, even though they're supposedly reaching their "prime." ADVERTISEMENT How do I cope with these detrimental attractions? It makes school uncomfortable for me because I find myself attracted to my male teachers, not the students. Also, how would I break it to my ultra-conservative parents if I did start dating an older man? They trust me, and I am an all-around good kid (straight A's, non-drinking, non-drug using), but I know they would not approve. --- LBY DEAR L.: You've made an assumption that I'm not sure is valid. One's desire for a father figure is not always driven by an absent or indifferent father. It can also be motivated by a wonderful one, and a wish to remain Daddy's girl. In any case, the attraction to married and gay men reveals a drive for forbidden and, as you say, unavailable partners. The desire for gay men also bespeaks an underlying need to be rejected. Granted, for a sophisticated 18-year-old, guys your age may seem like twerps, but you are heading down an unhealthy path -- which, to be fair, you seem to understand. I think the only way to end this behavior is to get a handle on it, and a good way to do that would be with a therapist. And don't forget to talk about your ultra-conservative parents. --- MARGO, INVESTIGATIVELY
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#1. To: All (#0)
DEAR MARGO: I am frustrated with my relationship in so many ways. My partner of seven years has been looking at straight porn (we are a gay male couple) all this time, and I have just recently made him fess up. Finally he has admitted to looking at this for most of his life. I work with computers professionally and do the regular maintenance on our desktop and laptop, so he has no idea that I can see what he thinks he has deleted. I am now having trust issues since he's been denying it for so long. At one point, our joint account was charged a fee that I did not recognize. I called to find out what it was. It was a subscription to a straight porn site. He still denies it. I believe he signed up for a trial period and did not cancel in time. And . . . he has had erectile dysfunction problems throughout our relationship. I had opened the door at one point to see if he needed to experience women beyond what he already has, but he declined because of our relationship. What should I do? We have everything together -- joint accounts, vehicles, etc. --- UNSURE OF WHAT'S HAPPENED DEAR UN: This is kind of unusual, as it sounds as though your partner may be a closet straight person. There's clearly a strong emotional bond between you because he's declined your offer to "experiment." If he were watching straight porn and he could perform with you, I would chalk it up to a kink, but the bottom line is that he is conflicted and ambivalent, and neither you nor I is equipped to get to the bottom of this. A therapist who specializes in gender issues should be consulted. As for the joint holdings, should it come to breaking up, it sounds as though the two of you would financially unwind in an equitable manner. You are right to want to get to the root of the problem, because the relationship sounds unsatisfactory for both of you as it is now. --- MARGO, PROBINGLY
Antiparty - find out why, think about 'how'
LOL.
...do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.
I'm wondering how seriously is this Margo b__ch taking herself.
Antiparty - find out why, think about 'how'
PROBINGLY, MARGARET I don't know where you dug this up, but I can't help but laugh. It's like the inverse of dear Abby, where discontented housefraus would write in with their "lack of fulfillment" and get advice on why their husbands were so distant. Now the discontented gay bottoms are writing in to the same kind of nattering nobody with a pen full of bullshit. It's funny because it's so damn silly, and when you think of men writing these kinds of letters it's mentally jarring.
...do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.
She's having fun at their expense.
Antiparty - find out why, think about 'how'
Dear LBY. I'm available. ;)
"If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may know peace." -Thomas Paine In a CorporoFascist capitalist society, there is no money in peace, freedom, or a healthy population, and therefore, no incentive to achieve these.
#2. To: a vast rightwing conspirator (#1)
At one point, our joint account was charged a fee that I did not recognize. I called to find out what it was. It was a subscription to a straight porn site. He still denies it.
#3. To: bluedogtxn (#2)
DEAR UN: This is kind of unusual, as it sounds as though your partner may be a closet straight person.
#4. To: a vast rightwing conspirator (#3)
DEAR UN: This is kind of unusual, as it sounds as though your partner may be a closet straight person.
#5. To: bluedogtxn (#4)
If he were watching straight porn and he could perform with you, I would chalk it up to a kink, but the bottom line is that he is conflicted and ambivalent, and neither you nor I is equipped to get to the bottom of this.
#6. To: a vast rightwing conspirator (#0)
Also, how would I break it to my ultra-conservative parents if I did start dating an older man?
Law Enforcement Against Prohibition
- - IndieTX
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