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Title: If Texas Wasn't a State
Source:
The Moderate Independent
URL Source: http://www.moderateindependent.com/v1i9texasstuff.htm
Published: Apr 15, 2007
Author: John Ashton
Post Date: 2007-04-15 06:58:04 by YertleTurtle
Keywords: None
Views: 910
Comments: 17
Texas takes pride in being the lone star state. It likes to think it is so unique, has its own flag. Well, what if Texas had been castoff, like a less hospitable Mexico, to stand on its own - and the United States didn't have to bear the burden of this state where everything bad in our country seems to stem from. So let's take a look and see what we would be missing if Texas took its sorry ass and declared its independence (or, more accurately, our independence from them): The Alamo - I don't know which we would miss less, A) the ridiculous, embarrassing story of how a few hundred Mexican soldiers blew a whole bunch of Texans - unfortunately, also considered Americans - away, in a futile, useless fight over some scorching, unfertile patch of desert dirt, or B) the most boring, disappointing tourist site in the entire U.S., if not the world. JFK's Assasination - JFK would still be alive if this stupid state was considered the foreign, third-world entity that it is. The Vietnam War - Yes, after these Texans killed JFK, they gave us LBJ, who, wonderful Texan that he was, launched us full steam into the Vietnam War. David Koresh - How nice of them to invite our Justice Department people to their Texas style barbecue. George W. Bush - He could have been a foreigner, people - right at home as the Dictator of his own Banana Republic. Enron - The company that helped trash California's economy and set off a wave of corporate scandals that took 401K's already suffering from the President's lack of economic leadership and finished them off, Texas style. Ok, let's be fair and talk about the good things that have come from Texas that make it worth putting up with the humiliation of The Alamo, JFK's assassination, the tens of thousands of inexcusable, unnecessary American deaths resulting from the Vietnam War, and the current idiot-in-chief, who is doing his best to create a cross between his own Vietnam and an endless Cold War. What makes Texas worth us having to endure all of this: Professional Cheerleaders - Started by the Dallas Cowboys. Nice, but a few jiggly tits don't quite make up for Vietnam in some people's minds. A Place To Launch Rockets From - "Um, Houston, we have other places we can use, over." The Sixth Floor Book Depository Museum - Excellent spot to relive American history, but having avoided the whole damned assassination might have been better. Lots Of Oil - Actually, just enough oil to make some incompetent, power-hungry idiots, who are named after things like shrubs, really rich, before these morons depleted the reserves and started crawling the globe like addicts in search of another similar fix. Anna Nicole Smith - Like Texas itself, seems appealing and exciting at first, but in the end you realize it's just too damn big and completely useless. Southwest Airlines - Thank God, they created a cheap way to get the hell out of that hateful heat trap. The War On Terror - You see, this was a trick - I put this in here because the Texans who are reading this will actually think it's a good thing, while the rest of us realize it's actually a horribly state of being brought upon us by the asinine policies of yet another wonderful Texan, George H. W. Bush. So, in the end, we must wonder, just as we used to have debates and a process for welcoming new states into the Union, shouldn't we maybe come up with a way to get a single problem child that keeps disturbing class and ruining life for the other kids kicked out of school? Or, more accurately, shouldn't we get a movement going to kiss this sorry ass, endlessly problem-causing sand trap the hell out of our fine country?
Poster Comment: Kick Texas loose, and kick the South loose, and it would be a better country. It would be best of all to kick loose the whole East Coast -- DC, New York City and the whole Yankee-traitor mess. Oh, yeah, kick Alaska loose, too.
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#1. To: YertleTurtle (#0)
(Edited)
Texas, our Texas all hail the mighty state Texas, our Texas so wonderful so great Boldest and grandest withstanding every test Oh empire wide and glorious you stand supremely blessed! God Bless you, Texas and keep you brave and strong and you will grow in power and worth throughout the ages long.
PLEEEEASSSSE DO IT!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!Kick us the hell out of the USSA! Don't let us cross the God Forsaken border!! I'll be the first to toss $100.00 into the pot to get this done. Fellow Texans!! If we all kick in $100.00 and send it to these people they may be able to pull this off!! Hell! We've been trying to get loose from that shit hole in DC for over 100 years. This may be our chance!! Boonie Rat MACV SOCOM, PhuBai/Hue '65-'66
The truth is this: If only one man among all of the rest will not break ... then all of them, all those who so despise men that they believe all men can be broken and all men can be bought, all of them have failed and all of them are defeated, because one alone destroys them and one alone can give heart to all other men., - The Secret of Santa Vittoria (1969)
I'd be satisfied if everything north of the Mason-Dixon line was kicked loose. DC, New York City...why exactly does the rest of the country need them at all?
"Be convinced that to be happy means to be free and that to be free means to be brave. Therefore do not take lightly the perils of war." -- Thucydides
We need to encourage those who want Texas kicked out. We need to finance them, help them along, give them all the assistance we can! A few years ago some people tried to return Texas to sovereign status, DC sent its leaches down here and put a stop to it. A Texas Monthly poll showed over 70% of Texans wanted to seceed!! And that included the plague of northern locusts that have arrived here in the past couple decades! I'm for kicking us out!!PLEEEAASSSSE!!! Boonie Rat MACV SOCOM, PhuBai/Hue '65-'66
The truth is this: If only one man among all of the rest will not break ... then all of them, all those who so despise men that they believe all men can be broken and all men can be bought, all of them have failed and all of them are defeated, because one alone destroys them and one alone can give heart to all other men., - The Secret of Santa Vittoria (1969)
And just for the record. George W. Bush is from Kennebunkport MAINE. Boonie Rat MACV SOCOM, PhuBai/Hue '65-'66
The truth is this: If only one man among all of the rest will not break ... then all of them, all those who so despise men that they believe all men can be broken and all men can be bought, all of them have failed and all of them are defeated, because one alone destroys them and one alone can give heart to all other men., - The Secret of Santa Vittoria (1969)
We agree. I long for just that. I consider anything south of Hartford CT to be - well- not especially appealing. Though- I would ask one thing of "y'all"- that you take the half trillion dollar military and its 1200 foreign military bases- along with the "intelligence community". We'll take the coast guard.
Please, call it the Manson-Nixon Line.
I understand the Nixon part, but you've lost me with the Manson bit. Charles Manson? Marilyn Manson?
"Be convinced that to be happy means to be free and that to be free means to be brave. Therefore do not take lightly the perils of war." -- Thucydides
Sorry. That would be too many leaches. We'll build our own military. We won't need many, as we won't be running all over the world bombing and murdering "for the children". We will, however, keep what's here, we can sell 'em off. You keep the IRS, FBI, INS, EPA, and all the rest of the alphabet agencies, their staff, and assorted leaches and maggots as infest and spread from DC. We can negotiate on the Coast Guard. Boonie Rat MACV SOCOM, PhuBai/Hue '65-'66
The truth is this: If only one man among all of the rest will not break ... then all of them, all those who so despise men that they believe all men can be broken and all men can be bought, all of them have failed and all of them are defeated, because one alone destroys them and one alone can give heart to all other men., - The Secret of Santa Vittoria (1969)
This is getting funny. "No, we don't want the IRS, you take them." "How about if we trade you the FBI for the CIA?" "No, no, we don't want either of them, you take them." We need a bunch of bulldozers to push D.C. into the ocean.
"Be convinced that to be happy means to be free and that to be free means to be brave. Therefore do not take lightly the perils of war." -- Thucydides
Charles Manson
You do know that DC is south of the Mason Dixon line, right?
That's why I recommended the bulldozers.
"Be convinced that to be happy means to be free and that to be free means to be brave. Therefore do not take lightly the perils of war." -- Thucydides
The revolution won't be televised ... but if you're in Texas you might get a front row seat !!! The resistance is building and originates in Austin. Let us resolve to bring down the tyrants here in Texas and by so doing capture the hearts of those unfortunates living under the control of the East Coast Establishment, Ivy League, FILTH, (that invaded Texas after the Northern War of Aggression) wherein they too can rise up and throw off the yoke placed upon their necks.
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
You find a tall oak tree. I'll bring a short rope. Boonie Rat MACV SOCOM, PhuBai/Hue '65-'66
The truth is this: If only one man among all of the rest will not break ... then all of them, all those who so despise men that they believe all men can be broken and all men can be bought, all of them have failed and all of them are defeated, because one alone destroys them and one alone can give heart to all other men., - The Secret of Santa Vittoria (1969)
Sorry to be the one to break the news to you, but your ticket price out of the USSA is your part of the current national debt, which when I last checked is about $20,000 per person and that was in the early Bush days. A hundred bucks??? Don't make me laugh!
I have lived in Houston for many years, and I have yet to see a rocket or any other space vehicle being launched from anywhere in Texas.
#2. To: YertleTurtle (#0)
Kick Texas loose
#3. To: boonie rat (#2)
We've been trying to get loose from that shit hole in DC for over 100 years.
#4. To: YertleTurtle (#3)
.....why exactly does the rest of the country need them at all?
#5. To: YertleTurtle (#0)
George W. Bush - He could have been a foreigner
#6. To: YertleTurtle (#3)
#7. To: YertleTurtle (#3)
I'd be satisfied if everything north of the Mason-Dixon line was kicked loose
#8. To: Paul Revere (#7)
(Edited)
Please, call it the Manson-Nixon Line.
#9. To: Burkeman1 (#6)
I would ask one thing of "y'all"- that you take the half trillion dollar military and its 1200 foreign military bases- along with the "intelligence community". We'll take the coast guard.
#10. To: boonie rat (#9)
That would be too many leaches
#11. To: YertleTurtle (#8)
#12. To: YertleTurtle (#3)
I'd be satisfied if everything north of the Mason-Dixon line was kicked loose. DC, New York City...why exactly does the rest of the country need them at all?
#13. To: DeaconBenjamin (#12)
You do know that DC is south of the Mason Dixon line, right?
#14. To: boonie rat (#2)
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!Kick us the hell out of the USSA!
#15. To: noone222 (#14)
Let us resolve to bring down the tyrants here in Texas
#16. To: boonie rat (#2)
I'll be the first to toss $100.00 into the pot to get this done. Fellow Texans!! If we all kick in $100.00 and send it to these people they may be able to pull this off!!
#17. To: YertleTurtle (#0)
A Place To Launch Rockets From - "Um, Houston, we have other places we can use, over."
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