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Title: Dog Food Diet
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Published: Apr 30, 2007
Author: Donno
Post Date: 2007-04-30 13:33:33 by Critter
Keywords: None
Views: 96
Comments: 6
I have a Labrador retriever, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (Duh!) On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was standing behind her. Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me? I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me I thought the guy standing behind her was going to need help as he staggered to the door laughing.
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#1. To: Critter (#0)
LOL.
Paranoia is a survival trait in a Decidership.
funny :P
Dogs don't lick their asses. They lick their balls. How do you expect anyone to believe your story if you can't get your dog facts straight?
"Be convinced that to be happy means to be free and that to be free means to be brave. Therefore do not take lightly the perils of war." -- Thucydides
I used to tell a similar story to people when I was a kid. I used an unnamed uncle as an example and told them he was in the middle of the road licking his peter and a truck hit him.
formerly GJones.
How do you expect anyone to believe your story if you can't get your dog facts straight? LOL!
Law Enforcement Against Prohibition /chuckle
Never swear "allegiance" to anything other than the 'right to change your mind'!
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me? I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me
#2. To: Critter (#0)
#3. To: Critter (#0)
#4. To: Critter (#0)
'd been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me
#5. To: YertleTurtle (#3)
Dogs don't lick their asses. They lick their balls and their penises.
#6. To: Critter (#0)
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