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Title: Billboard Causes Panic: Los Angeles Population Plummets 14% in Three Days
Source: human events online.
URL Source: http://www.humaneventsonline.com/article.php?id=7424
Published: May 12, 2005
Author: Mac Johnson
Post Date: 2005-05-12 15:30:32 by Grumble Jones
Keywords: Population, Billboard, Plummets
Views: 145
Comments: 2

Los Angeles -- A controversial billboard campaign in Los Angeles continued to make headlines this week as anger rapidly turned to confusion and hysteria.

The billboard, advertising a Spanish Language television station, originally made news by enraging many Americans with its aggressive Mexican Nationalist message --declaring that Los Angeles was no longer part of the United States, but was instead a Mexican city once again.

Below the banner message in which “Los Angeles, CA” had been crossed out and changed in blaring red type to read “Los Angeles, MEXICO,” the billboard pronounced in Spanish “Your City. Your Team.”

Now Gringo anger is the least of the problems caused by the Billboard, as the apparently quite believable reconquista it announces sends shockwaves through the city’s residents, Anglo and Latino alike. In a scene reminiscent of war-torn Europe 60 years ago, the roads leading north out of Los Angeles are choked with thousands of Mexican refugees stoically carrying their meager possessions with them.......

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#1. To: Grumble Jones (#0)

If this is the reaction.. put more of them up!

When I asked what had precipitated this mass exodus, one migrant, whom we’ll call Jose “X,” simply turned, pointed to the Billboard looming over his neighborhood and said, “¡Oh Man! I stopped walking too soon!” --then bravely continued on with the others.

I asked a second man why he was fleeing Los Angeles, Mexico. “I did a lotta bad things back in Mexico, I’m afraid of police there,” he said matter-of-factly, then added “In America, police must give me Latte, so I walk to America. Again. ¡Norte!”

When questioned about the efflux of migrants blackening all roads leading out of Los Angeles, Immigration and Customs Enforcement Director Hugh Dick responded “What Mexicans? I don’t see any Mexicans.”

The Mexican government has seen the problem though and quickly dispatched officials to the scene to aid the population in re-escaping to America. “This is a tragedy,” said Luis de Silva de Gonzales y Ramon de Dinero debajo de Mesa. He added “These people thought they were safe and prosperous, now they’re just in Mexico. Again. ¡Norte!”p>

The reconquista panic has taken myriad forms. Los Angeles wholesalers were said to be totally out of ChicletsÔ brand gum, as terrified Los Angelinos, believing they were in Mexico, immediately sent their children into the streets to sell gum to tourists. A dazed passer-by, Richard Martinez, commented, “I had a good paying job, Man. Now this happens. Heck, I don’t even know how to speak Spanish except a little to my Grandmother. How am I supposed to make a living asking for hugs and cookies? I’m an American for Chrissake!

Quit lumping me in with all these illegals --I DON’T WANT ANY GUM, OK? VAMOOS, YOU LITTLE URCHINS!-- Screw it. I’m moving to Canada.”

Immigrant civil rights and advocacy groups were incensed. “How many will die on the long trek north now?” asked advocate and socialite Catherine van den Hempel-Jones. “Moving the border means migrants have to walk all the way to Sacramento to find a better life now, surviving along the way only on convenience store rations and In-N-Out Burgers. When will this madness end?

We demand –and will soon appeal to the United Nations to require-- that a high-speed commuter rail be built out of Los Angeles immediately, preferably one fueled by bio-diesel and catered in a culturally sensitive manner.” Ms. van den Hempel-Jones then turned and addressed one of the Northbound migrants: “Excusa me, camarada. Do you need cold AGUA?” Apparently mad from the heat, the poor Mexican migrant responded sharply and in remarkably good English “Get away from me, you freak! God, I can’t wait to get to Canada.”

Zipporah  posted on  2005-05-12   15:42:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Anti-American liberal whites in Los Angeles briefly poured into the streets to celebrate L.A.’s “liberation” from United States “hegemony”, but they were quickly dispersed with massive force from the Federale LAPD. Commented one smiling officer as he repeatedly swung his baton onto a crying trustafarian, “Where’s your First Amendment NOW, pinko?” The officer then asked us to pay a $100 cash fee for a “reporting license.” “After this, I’m gonna start me a drug gang!” he told a grinning friend standing nearby, on the thin neck of a “Peace Activist”.

Funny stuff - thanks.

Lod  posted on  2005-05-12   15:42:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

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