2007 International Waterboarding Championships to be held at Guantanamo Bay Monday, May 28th 2007 — Christopher Hansen
The 2007 International Waterboarding Championships will be held at the Guantanamo Bay U.S. Military base on July 4th through the 24th. Only those that have been through the procedure in the past may participate in the competition. It will once again be sponsored by Republican Party members in the Executive Branch and paid for by the Democrats in Congress in a show of continued bi-partisan support for torture.
The theme of this years competition will be: Waterboarding: It’s for the Children!
The theme song for this years competition will be: God Bless the U.S.A. by Lee Greenwood and will be played at the open flag ceremony each day. Pat Robertson will be giving the opening invocation. The Pledge of Allegiance will be led by outgoing World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz. Donald Rumsfeld will then place the new Farewell to Jerry Falwell memorial plaque next to last year addition, the six-ton block of granite bearing the Ten Commandments donated by the Council on Foreign Relations.
The judges for this years competition will include Senator Orrin Hatch, First Lady Laura Bush, Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, Vice President Dick Cheney, Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and the ever lovable Rudy Giuliani.
Fox News will have exclusive coverage with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck giving the play by play. All proceeds of the event will be evenly divided among the Republican and Democrat Congressional Candidates for the 2008 election cycle.
Nancy Grace on loan from CNN along with Attorney General Gonzalez will be explaining the legal technicalities of why these competitors are not allowed to have attorneys and why such torture does not violate the Geneva Convention. Habeas Corpus will also be suspended during the competition to ensure that none of the athletes will be kept from full participation.
To learn more about waterboarding and the United States use of the procedure that keeps your children safe from Islam CLICK HERE - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waterboarding