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Editorial See other Editorial Articles Title: Wake Up and Smell the Lawyers. How Law and Odor Are Choking America to Death The book lawyers don't want you to read - or even know about! TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION Chapter 1 — One Hell of a Bad Smell Chapter 2 — Lawsuit Insanity Running Amuck and Running America Into the Ground Chapter 3 — Money - The Root of All Lawyers Chapter 4 — Keep The Meter Running At All Costs Chapter 5 — They’re Here, They’re There … They’re Everywhere Chapter 6 — Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire Chapter 7 — It Takes Two to Tango Chapter 8 — Guilty Until Proven Innocent Chapter 9 — Uncivil Wars Chapter 10 — Head of the Class Chapter 11 — Who’s Next? Chapter 12 — Contempt of Court Chapter 13 — Justice for Sale Chapter 14 — An Open and Shut Case Taken from Chapter 1 of Wake Up and Smell the Lawyers — One Hell of a Bad Smell. Law and odor in America. There’s one hell of a rotten smell emanating from virtually every corner in America and like most disgusting odors that linger in the air, this stench isn’t going away. As a matter of fact, the odor seems to be growing stronger and exponentially more offensive with each passing day. This sickening bouquet has permeated virtually every facet of the American way of life and, given enough time, will ultimately taint anything and everything that it comes in contact with it. As these noxious fumes waft their way across America, each of us are forced to pay an immeasurable price. A once proud nation, where energy and resourcefulness ruled the day, is being methodically reduced to a rubble. We’ve become a squabbling, quarrelsome pack of money grubbing whine bags who routinely sue each other for such nefarious grievances as slipping on a grape in a grocery store, spilling hot coffee in the lap while driving, falling off a toilet seat and for getting a bad hair cut. Yes, these insane lawsuits really did happen! Just what in the hell is going on here? Law and odor, that’s what, and boy, that’s a rot gut combo to be sure. To succinctly paraphrase a borrowed slogan from an old cigarette commercial “We’ve come the wrong way, baby”. Oops, that may be a poor choice of words. In today’s increasingly litigious society, even casually making an off the cuff inference to an old tobacco related commercial could prove hazardous to my health. With blood sucking lawyers circling over the tobacco industry like famished vultures hovering over a decaying carcass, I sure as heck don’t want to get caught up in that line of fire. Where were we? Oh yeah, we were talking about lawyers and the offensive and nauseating malodor that accompanies them everywhere they go. Lawyers are everywhere you look - and it’s not a pretty sight to behold. And every place you find a lawyer, you’ll discover a putrid, pungent cloud billowing up all around them. Lawyers, by and large, are a stinky lot and all of the deodorant in the world isn’t going to mask the foulness. Unfortunately, far too many of us have gotten so accustomed to holding our noses for so long that we scarcely even notice the awful smell anymore. Lawyers have been surreptitiously working overtime to permeate our subconscious minds, incrementally brainwashing us in the fine art of becoming helpless victims - and the years and years of hard work is now paying off in spades. Lawyers have us right where they want us - busily scurrying all around looking for all sorts of inventive new ways to sue somebody over something. Where innovation, creativity and ingenuity were once the magnificent cornerstones of America’s entrepreneurial drive and spirit, these precepts are now merely platitudes lawyers manipulate while seeking out innovative, creative and ingenious ways to sue the pants off those around us. Lawsuits, conflicts, fighting, fusing and fuming now rule the day while the lawyers, not surprisingly, rule the roost.
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