Title: All Aboard the Ship of Fools Source:
Ship of Fools blog URL Source:[None] Published:Jul 25, 2007 Author:the church lady Post Date:2007-07-25 18:02:10 by ghostdogtxn Keywords:None Views:175 Comments:6
Did anything distract you? I don't even know where to begin. My experience at New Life Church was a total sensory orgiastic experience, from start to finish. There was a fog-maker in the sanctary, there were migraine-inducing spotlights swirling about during worship (if I stayed long enough, would God heal my migraines?), worshippers uh, what's the word? "pogo-ing" up and down, full on dancing provocatively, kids in red, blue and yellow shirts forming a sort of tiny moshpit in front of the stage (thankfully, no one jumped into it), people just wandering about and "ushers" who looked like Secret Service (really, they wore dark suits, sported tiny headsets and never smiled). And that's just the beginning. This service celebrated "Pastor Ted's 50th birthday, and the celebration included: ten motor scooters driven into the sanctuary, a fertilizer machine, a year's supply of ice cream bars carried to the stage by children, a pup tent and a real John Deere tractor ridden into the sanctuary (yes, the gasoline smell was also distracting). Then there was the moment blue and yellow streamers liberally fell from the scaffolding and landed on my head. During the sermon, I was distracted by Ted Haggard's breath; yes, I could see his very breath due to the presence of the fog-making machine. Everytime he turned his head a certain way, I could also see spittle project forth. Thoughts of avian flu and "are the vents open?" ran through my head.
If this is the sort of "Religion" that draws you- then I doubt you had little experience with it in the past.
All I really remember is the increadably good looking sexy lady who seemed to be Ted's right hand women, swaying in a nearly see through tight fitting mosquito net kinda thinggy.
I don't know what Ted was thinking but I am pretty sure I know what the real men in the congregation were thinking.
Same thing I was.
The church is what I call authoritarian. The kids area was a F troop fort mock up where troopers with revolvers walked around to quell any disturbance.
Never went back.
"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men" Plato
Well, my religious backround is such that if I see a guitar in a church I roll my eyes and feel uncomfortable. Church isn't a freakin party. It isn't a monster truck rally. It isn't a rock concert or a dance hall. Balloons don't fall from the ceiling, the birthday of the "reverend" isn't celebrated with John Deere tractors and kids hauling Ice cream bars to the "stage". American flags are not drapped all over the place and garish statues of Angels with swords are not in the foyer.
What the above describes is a tribal social event- NOT worship of God.
This was an office building doing business..a restaurant...a bank...not a church. I would have been ashamed to be a Christian in this fraudulent environment as well. Being raised a Lutheran [LCMS], my country [German roots] pastor in his cowboy boots and beard would have popped pastor haggard in the jaw. LOL.
"It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brush fires of freedom in the minds of men." -- Samuel Adams (1722-1803)