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All is Vanity
See other All is Vanity Articles

Title: Grand Conspiracy Theories are Dumb
Source: Aquol
URL Source: http://matthew.aqoul.com/2007/06/grand_conspiracy_theories_are.html
Published: Sep 21, 2007
Author: Matthew Hogan
Post Date: 2007-09-21 07:24:38 by YertleTurtle
Keywords: None
Views: 5595
Comments: 183

Acting alone, and for egotistical and political reasons, Lee Harvey Oswald shot President Kennedy, Texas Governor John Connally, and a Dallas police officer in November 1963. On September 11, 2001, disciples of Osama bin-Laden, a maverick Islamist theocrat, crashed themselves and hundreds of others into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon because they believed America to be their enemy, and Americans to be evil. Rumsfeld, the CIA, the Mossad, Unocal, and so forth, whatever their many sins, did not do it.

Grand conspiracies are grand fantasies. A cabal of bankers do not run the world. The Council of Foreign Relations and the Trilateral Commission are simply debating societies/social clubs of otherwise very powerful people. The Illuminati did not, and do not, map out history.

Things, especially large political things, actually are far more often what they seem to be.

The Protocols of the Elders of Zion are fabrications about a world Jewish conspiracy concocted by Russian bigots in a mad time and place. The Masons are bored grownups playing kids' games.

Of course, history-making conspiracies do happen. And can succeed. That's why I have entitled this "Grand Conspiracy Theories Are Dumb". Small conspiracies by alienated misfits are often quite successful at changing history. The assassination of Lincoln was a successful conspiracy of alienated outsiders. So too, incidentally, were the attacks of September 11, 2001. So was the assassination of an Austrian Archduke in Serbia in 1914 that started World War One.

The pair of snipers who semi-paralyzed the capital of 21st Century America in 2002 were two homeless oddballs.

But the idea of a ruling inner circle of humanity, which grandly orchestrates great events from behind the scenes, seems to excite more interest and attention. Even though such don't exist.

What's the Attraction?

So what then is the attraction of insider conspiracy theories ? I think it is not so much their fascination with great evil but rather their hopeful, if illusory, reassurance of widespread virtue and competence.

Grand insider conspiracy theories give us hope when we feel powerless. Strangely enough, grand insider conspiracy theories reassuringly exaggerate the presence not of evil, but of goodness, humility, and efficiency in the human character.

It may seem shocking at first but grand conspiracy theories actually require an enormous -- and frankly ludicrous -- amount of faith in selfless efficient human dedication to others and/or abstract causes.

We need only consider the incredible amount of virtue imputed to people allegedly involved in grand conspiracies. Imagine, for example, if Jack Ruby really was induced by the mafia or some other nefarious cabal to eliminate Lee Harvey Oswald after Oswald was arrested,. (Rather than being motivated by his actual understandable but unbalanced rage over Kennedy's assassination.)

Why would Ruby be willing to spend the rest of his life in prison, even face the death sentence, and not squeal or blab about his place in changing history? The mafia doesn't always command that level of silence from family members of the Don over a small heroin racket and a few years of jail time.

If we look carefully we see that such alleged conspiratorial behavior presupposes one heck of a sense of integrity and dedication on the part of the participants in evil and deception. Not to mention also presupposing brilliantly effective and flawless coordination and timing among far-flung members of the conspiracy. But in reality people just aren't that clever, but it is comforting, even reassuring, to believe so.

To accept grand conspiracy theories, one must honestly feel that there are large numbers of people willing to suffer, die, kill, as well as lose their wealth and reputation while keeping loyally silent, all in order to consciously protect the good name and position of some other power-mad or simply greedy individuals.

And on top of that, in grand conspiracy theories, there are no uncontrolled unintended results of the actions of such people.

What efficiency, what integrity one must believe humanity capable of!

What loyalty!

What crap!

Street thugs typically cannot help bragging about some sadistic petty crime. To imagine great historical actors collaborating in self-sacrifice across generations and without direct credit or benefit to themselves, and without falling out in petty competition, is to give our species far more credit than it deserves.

Indeed, if such conspiratorial forces actually can undertake and command such dedication and integrity, maybe the manipulators really do deserve to run the world! At least the stock market won't crash.

Self-Righteous Indolence and Envy Enabled

Conspiracy theories reassure us of the prevalence of virtue and comfort in the world in another paradoxical way: they appeal to our sense of self-righteousness and laziness. By making Evil the prerogative of small inner cabal of "them," the rest of us come across as relatively benign. Why look to ourselves to find and do the hard work of fixing the moral and intellectual failings that cause unnecessary ills?

Why look to our own responsibility in the creation and perpetuation of wrong? We don't have to, we can just say that it's the [fill in the blank s.o.b.-parasite conspirators] doing it. No, not us, we are not helping it to happen. The s.o.b.'s are doing so in a manner beyond our control,beyond our poor power to add or detract.

In serving this purpose, insider conspiracy theories also provide a cover for ignorant and bigoted envy and resentment. The villains of conspiracy theories are often simply people who are resented merely for being or appearing successful, admired, or wealthy. Bankers, businesspeople, "corporate America", Jews, Masons, etc.

Human Motive Transparency

Grand conspiracy theories also allow us to ignore the utter transparency of most human motives, good or ill. One actually doesn't need much of a crystal ball to discern personal ambitions, ideological aims, and manipulative tactics. There was nothing especially opaque about the motives and activities of such history-sweeping phenomena as Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union. Or those of a banker like J.P Morgan, or those of oil companies.

Now, of course, powerful people, movements, and institutions really do carry out manipulative deceptive hidden acts with nefarious agendas, and can do so with some success. They most certainly engage in recurrent dishonesty. As indeed most of us do from time to time. But as the more powerful are better organized and possess a further reach, they can pull off real conspiratorial manipulations here and there from time to time. The ferreting out of these sins is the real hard labor of life and intellect.

Such ferreting out is an ever-present challenge for the attuned citizen. But all that is no excuse for denying that things really are more often what they seem to be, and perhaps a lot less. Grand manipulations are usually found out fairly quickly. The Gulf of Tonkin Incident, the French-British-Israeli pre-collaboration in the 1956 Suez War, the French bombing of the Greenpeace ship in New Zealand, the American role in the overthrow and death of Congolese leader Patrice Lumumba etc. are but a few examples of the difficulty of secrecy in a world where things are usually obvious and people typically blab.

Simple Rules to Remember

Never attribute to evil what you can to stupidity and apathy. Never attribute to idealism and selfless determination what you can to ego, greed, and vanity. Never assume evil power-mad people are so dedicated and clever that they will keep secret their aims and role in affecting history.

Nor are they likely to succeed at efforts like those without overt challenge, embarrassing exposure, and multiple public failures born of inefficiency, competition, transparency and ego.

Perhaps the most important fact to remember is that it is CONSPIRACY THEORISTS who have carried out the worst evils. Hitlerism was based on the fantasy of a conspiratorial nature of Bolshevism , capitalism, and democracy behind which were the Jews.

Conspiracy theorists plunged the world into its worst war and sent millions to crematoria.

Conspiracy theories explain events in a way that reassures us that people are basically good -- so good in fact that even the authors of evil turn up amazingly selfless and dedicated. They paint a world where everything works efficiently.

These provide us with comfort instead of truth, and open the door to far far greater evils in the real world than the conspiracy theories complain of.


Poster Comment:

The psychology of the conspiracist is thus: "I am right and you are not only wrong, you are evil, so ultimately it is okay to murder you."

In the Soviet Union, since Communism does not work, scapegoats had to be found. Of course, it was a "conspiracy" behind all of the failures. Hundreds of thousands of innocent people were convicted as "wreckers" and shot or imprisoned for 25 years.

This is what the belief in impossible conspiracies ultimately leads to.

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#12. To: YertleTurtle (#0)

"It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brush fires of freedom in the minds of men." -- Samuel Adams (1722-1803)‡

ghostdogtxn  posted on  2007-09-21   11:59:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: YertleTurtle (#0)

Putting it another way, only zionists would suggest that what happened on 9/11/01 was not the result of a conspiracy.

There's only one reasonable explanation for your behavior: 9/11/01 was a zionist job and now you're a part of it.

nobody  posted on  2007-09-21   12:00:27 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: YertleTurtle (#0) (Edited)

We know already, Yertle - it's not a conspiracy - to you, or to anyone else who is in on it.

I suggest you cleave yourself away from the conspiracy.

nobody  posted on  2007-09-21   12:17:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: Cynicom (#9)

to believe otherwise is total denial and so ridiculous that it floors me to see anyone advance that "conspiracy" theory.

christine  posted on  2007-09-21   12:21:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: Eoghan (#4)

Kol Nidre

Would you like lox on that?

Jethro Tull  posted on  2007-09-21   12:36:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#17. To: YertleTurtle (#0) (Edited)

Okay, I get it now.

You prop up your ailing ego by attention whoring this way.

You embrace silly shit and sit back and feel important after swatting a beehive.

You must have a serious self esteem deficit.

In any case, I'm not taking the bait anymore after this ridiculous shit.

HOUNDDAWG  posted on  2007-09-21   13:02:51 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#18. To: YertleTurtle (#0)

Conspiracy theories reassure us of the prevalence of virtue and comfort in the world in another paradoxical way: they appeal to our sense of self-righteousness and laziness. By making Evil the prerogative of small inner cabal of "them," the rest of us come across as relatively benign.

That really explains the rabid self-righteousness of the typical conspiracy theorist.

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   20:16:07 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#19. To: Mister Clean (#18)

That really explains the rabid self-righteousness of the typical conspiracy theorist.

The mind of your typical conspiracist is closed tighter than a clam.

When everyone believes in impossible conspiracies, two things happen: either they give up and became fatalistic, such as Arab Muslims do in relation to Israel ("We just can't beat those damn Jews with their 140 IQs"), because they can't defeat them, or if they can get to the Evil (that's Evil with a capital E) then they slaughter them.

As I pointed out before, Solzetnitsyn, in The Gulag Archipelago, pointed out hundreds of thousands of innocent people were scapegoated, imprisoned and murdered as part of a non-existent "wrecker" conspiracy, just as today there is a non-existent conspiracy of Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, et al, that people are convinced really does exist.

These people are not rational, they are not even exactly sane, and they are as deluded as can be. Yet they will spend their lives trying to prove their beliefs, and they going to end up like those nuts who've spent the last 45 years trying to prove there were three shooters triangulating on Kennedy.

Conspiracists have poisioned minds and I feel sorry for them.

"He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative." - G.K. Chesterton

YertleTurtle  posted on  2007-09-21   20:56:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#20. To: Mister Clean (#18)

That really explains the rabid self-righteousness of the typical conspiracy theorist.

smootch!

" Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy." - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2007-09-21   20:58:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#21. To: YertleTurtle (#19)

These people are not rational, they are not even exactly sane, and they are as deluded as can be. Yet they will spend their lives trying to prove their beliefs, and they going to end up like those nuts who've spent the last 45 years trying to prove there were three shooters triangulating on Kennedy.

Conspiracists have poisioned minds and I feel sorry for them.

They sure are entertaining though.

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   21:02:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#22. To: Dakmar (#20)

Asking questions and searching for answers is so arrogant! What's wrong with you? Try to be more like the leader of the "free" world:

Talk about a conspiracy! Mandela's dead! Because Saddam killed them all.

Ron Paul for President - Join a Ron Paul Meetup group today!

robin  posted on  2007-09-21   21:02:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#23. To: robin (#22)

el nolo kidre carbonium, et nichtum

" Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy." - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2007-09-21   21:04:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#24. To: All, *You Gotta Be Shitting Me* (#3)

HOLY SHIT...

Nothing happened today when that dude's stock options failed to turn a profit. Remember the guy, that sole investor who was banking on the American Economy taking a shit today, who risked millions, in order to turn billions in profit if the economy died today?

Well it didn't fucking happen now did it?

I'm a little fucking angry that NOBODY has raised this topic on any thread having to do with that little bit of fear mongering.

I love a good conspiracy, but I'm beginning to get tired of waiting for the world to end.

Today was supposed to be the meltdown everyone was screaming about, and it didn't happen at all.

Too bad. I was actually prepared for it. Oh well, maybe next time someone shouts the sky is falling, they might be right. Right???

Dying for old bastards, and their old money, isn't my idea of freedom.

TommyTheMadArtist  posted on  2007-09-21   21:05:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#25. To: robin (#22)

motherless children got a hard time

" Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy." - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2007-09-21   21:07:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#26. To: TommyTheMadArtist (#24)

Today was supposed to be the meltdown everyone was screaming about, and it didn't happen at all.

BREAKING NEWS: The horrific predictions of doom & gloomers NEVER happen.

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   21:07:44 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#27. To: Mister Clean (#26)

Everything you say is a lie.

" Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy." - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2007-09-21   21:09:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#28. To: Dakmar (#27)

Everything you say is a lie.

You're a wonderful person and a valuable member of society.

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   21:11:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#29. To: YertleTurtle (#19)

Turtle poster.

Do you believe the government explaination of Waco or the conspiracy theorists as Clinton called us?

Janet Reno confronts Waco's bitter legacy.(government confrontation with Branch Davidians inspires anti-government groups and conspiracy theorists)

From: Newsweek Date: May 15, 1995

Author: Morganthau, Tom More

Conspiracy theories are growing surrounding the government's handling of the siege of Branch Davidians led by David Koresh. The botched raid resulted in the death of 85 people, including 25 children. The mishandling has been investigated and officially the deaths are considered mass suicide.

In Newark, NJ., last week, Attorney General Janet Reno chose an audience of federal law-enforcement officers to deliver a speech on a topic that obviously bothers her - the presumed connection between the Oklahoma city bombing and the deaths of 85 Branch Davidians outside Waco, Texas, two years earlier.

Speaking "from the heart," Reno lashed out at those who seek to find "a moral equivalency" between the two events. "Such reckless comparisons are despicable and out of bounds, as far as I am concerned," she said. "It is unfair, it is unreasonable, it is a lie, to spread the poison that the government was responsible at Waco for the murder of innocents."

Jethro Tull  posted on  2007-09-21   21:12:41 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#30. To: Dakmar (#25)

It will need updating after the Bush/Cheney Regime is done bleeding America's economy.

Ron Paul for President - Join a Ron Paul Meetup group today!

robin  posted on  2007-09-21   21:13:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#31. To: Mister Clean (#28)

You're a wonderful person and a valuable member of society.

How darling of you...

" Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy." - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2007-09-21   21:15:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#32. To: robin (#30)

Done, just cross out housing and write in "security guard - foreign".

" Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy." - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2007-09-21   21:22:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#33. To: Mister Clean (#26)

Ah, but when they do, they'll be the first to tell you I told you so.

Good grief. I don't give a fuck anymore about any of this shit.

Politicians come and go, and nothing fucking changes in this country. Nobody gives a fuck about anyone, and why? Because of shit like this.

At every turn, there's a horrible event about to happen, and when it doesn't, there's plenty of assurance that there will be.

I think I'm going to take a major sabbatical from this forum until one of two things happens. We actually have a catastrophe, or people start to figure out that maybe life isn't always suffering and hostility.

Later all, I'm off for a month, Christine, please e-mail me at your leisure should the world end, and I not be awake for it.

Dying for old bastards, and their old money, isn't my idea of freedom.

TommyTheMadArtist  posted on  2007-09-21   21:22:43 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#34. To: TommyTheMadArtist (#33)

Good grief. I don't give a fuck anymore about any of this shit.

Definitely a step in the right direction.

At every turn, there's a horrible event about to happen, and when it doesn't, there's plenty of assurance that there will be.

Predictions of doom & gloom never materialize. Ever.

But the doom & gloom crowd doesn't let that stop them from wallowing in their negative garbage.

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   21:27:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#35. To: The Doom Gloom crowd (#24)

On 2007-09-21 21:05:39, TommyTheMadArtist wrote:

To: All, *You Gotta Be Shitting Me*

HOLY SHIT...

Nothing happened today when that dude's stock options failed to turn a profit. Remember the guy, that sole investor who was banking on the American Economy taking a shit today, who risked millions, in order to turn billions in profit if the economy died today?

Well it didn't fucking happen now did it?

I'm a little fucking angry that NOBODY has raised this topic on any thread having to do with that little bit of fear mongering.

Why isn't anyone responding to these comments?

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   21:47:42 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#36. To: Mister Clean (#35)

Why isn't anyone responding to these comments?

We are still trying to find the B-52 that someone stole a missile from. So dont get pushy or uppity.

Cynicom  posted on  2007-09-21   21:51:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#37. To: Mister Clean (#35)

Why isn't anyone responding to these comments?

Do a cute little song or something first, we'll see how it goes from there.

" Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy." - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2007-09-21   21:51:26 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#38. To: Cynicom (#36)

We are still trying to find the B-52 that someone stole a missile from. So dont get pushy or uppity.

Tommy The Mad Artist is clearly catching on to the fraudulent predictions constantly made by the-sky-is-falling crowd and he's asking for some answers.

But the doom & gloomers have none to offer.

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   21:54:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#39. To: Mister Clean (#35)

Tommy's comments are way off the demented zionist topic.

The whole Euro-market "put" BS was debunked over a week ago on LF, anyway.

nobody  posted on  2007-09-21   21:55:44 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#40. To: Dakmar (#37)

Do a cute little song or something first, we'll see how it goes from there.

What's the matter, can't you address Tommy The Mad Artist's comments?

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   21:55:55 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#41. To: nobody (#39)

Tommy's comments are way off the demented zionist topic.

Seems to me like he's waking up to the fact that doom & gloomers are full of shit.

All BS, all the time.

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   21:57:21 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#42. To: Mister Clean (#40)

I'd rather slap you around. Are you afraid of Tommy, too? Not my problem.

" Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy." - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2007-09-21   21:58:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#43. To: Mister Clean (#40)

You get off on abusing posters by using the zionist's 9/11/01 inside job as a foil? What a sick pathetic and disgusting pair of zionists you and Yertle make.

nobody  posted on  2007-09-21   21:58:34 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#44. To: TommyTheMadArtist (#33)

please e-mail me at your leisure should the world end, and I not be awake for it.

i will, tommy, unless they get me first. :P

christine  posted on  2007-09-21   21:59:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#45. To: Mister Clean (#38)

But the doom & gloomers have none to offer.

And this grand pronouncement means what?

Bush and you are the only gloomers I know, so scared of a few ragheads that you check under your bed at night. Shameful.

Cynicom  posted on  2007-09-21   21:59:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#46. To: Dakmar (#42)

I'd rather slap you around.

Let me know when that happens, ok?

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   22:00:03 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#47. To: nobody (#43)

You get off on abusing posters by using the zionist's 9/11/01 inside job as a foil?

Abusing posters?

I'm doing them a favor by pointing out the fraudulent claims of paranoid doom & gloom conspiracy theorists who live for bad news and pessimism.

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   22:02:03 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#48. To: Mister Clean (#41)

Can't you stay on topic, disgusting zionist clown? The stock bet story came out before the fed went into action and puts are not bearish anyway.

nobody  posted on  2007-09-21   22:02:44 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#49. To: Mister Clean, Dakmar (#46)

I'd rather slap you around.

Sink has been missing for a few days. Rumors have it that he was at the Whitehouse for upgrade training. (and to be fitted with new kneepads).

Cynicom  posted on  2007-09-21   22:02:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#50. To: Cynicom (#45)

Bush and you are the only gloomers I know, so scared of a few ragheads that you check under your bed at night. Shameful.

Check my posts and you'll see that I don't take the threat of terrorism very seriously.

Mister Clean  posted on  2007-09-21   22:02:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#51. To: Mister Clean (#46)

you bet

" Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy." - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2007-09-21   22:03:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  



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