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Title: Attn All 4um Jesuit Temporal Coadjutores - Do we need a new relic for the clubhouse?
Source:
self
URL Source: http://none
Published: Sep 23, 2007
Author: self
Post Date: 2007-09-23 01:13:25 by Minerva
Keywords: None
Views: 251
Comments: 7
As most of you know, the clubhouse is sactified with a relic of Saint Johnson of Austrodonius. Although there is nothng wrong with Saint Johnson, the body part that makes up our relic is a little undignified in today's culture. If Saint Johnson of Austrodonius were a cow, our relic would be used to make hot dogs. In addition, after four centuries the relic is now all dried up and unrecognizeable for what it is. Recall that a guest at the Christmas party asked us why we kept beef jerky in an expensive display case. Given the good work the chapter has done over the past year, I think we deserve a new a more dignified relic with which to sactify our clubhouse. I heard that foot of Saint Catherine has recently been returned to the Vatican, and I thought of requesting it, but then I decided that this might be presumptuous. Before contacting the Vatican, I think we should decide what saint we would want the relic to be from and what specific part of the saint we would like for our relic. Are there any suggestions here?
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#1. To: Minerva (#0)
Yes, just what this forum needs...indeed! /sarcasm
Never swear "allegiance" to anything other than the 'right to change your mind'!
Ohhhhh........St. Catherine's foot! You're probably right in thinking they'd be thinking it somewhat presumptuous of us to be thinking we could just ask and receive. So, whadda ya think about asking for Sister Theresa's pinkie finger? You could say something like, "if you think it too presumptuous us us, we'd be more than happy to settle for St. Catherine's foot".....sort of reverse psycho or sumthin? Maybe..... Are there any certified Jesuits around that we could ask their opinion of? I hear that Benedictines are NOT the people to ask. I'll vote to go along with whatever the majority wants--just as long as we get sumthin! That comment last year was really painful to hear. Like we are guilty of sumthin or other.
Day-um......I said Benedictines, but I think it was San Franciscans. Ah, crappowitz, I'm not sure now. *pouts*
As St. Catherines foot has not been washed for at least 500 years and is rather small, I'd suggest that Ballam's Ass be given a quick scrub job and a prominent placement prior to all hallows eve.
"The mighty are only mighty because we are on our knees. Let us rise!" --Camille Desmoulins
Now that's an interesting thought, noone....hmmmmm......whatcha think, Minerva......would an ass work?
The problem is that we already have the ass of Saint Johnson of Austrodonius as our relic. And although he is a holy saint, and this is a genuine relic, the relic gives rise to a lot of snickers and alter boy jokes. Were it up to me, I would restrict the body part to something above the waist that normally shows in public in our culture.
Bunch of internet bums ... grand jury --- opium den ! ~ byeltsin
#2. To: Minerva (#0)
#3. To: Minerva (#0)
#4. To: rowdee (#2)
#5. To: noone222, Minerva (#4)
#6. To: Minerva (#0)
Coadjutores Intelligence Report (32d or Above Eyes Only)
“Yes, but is this good for Jews?"
#7. To: noone222 (#4)
I'd suggest that Ballam's Ass be given a quick scrub job and a prominent placement prior to all hallows eve
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