4um: Huckabee Suggests We All Just Masturbate

You know, Mike Huckabee’s not all that bad. Guy likes improving public health, cancer research, being fiscally… good…. Whatever. He’s just adorable sometimes, is the point. But about once a week he throws out a dark, bitter or stupid line — probably all psychological relics from his repressed history as a fattie. Last week, for example, he made a joke on MSNBC about how Fred Thompson, Rudy Giuliani et al. should slit their wrists because of inflated P/E ratios or something. Now, as HuffPo’s “Off the Bus” blogger Mike Caulfield reports, Huckabee has asked a group in New Hampshire (video above) why we encourage people to have safe sex rather than stay abstinent, especially when there’s an AIDS out there!

In response to a question about whether his religious views gel with the “methods of prevention” that more AIDS funding would imply, Huckabee opined that shrink wrap only should be for sailors (via HuffPo):

“If we really are serious about stopping a problem, whether it’s drunk driving … we don’t say “Don’t drive ‘as drunk’?” …This is an illogical thing that we apply to that one area that we don’t apply to any other area …We don’t say that a little domestic violence is OK, just cut it down a little, just don’t hit quite as hard. We say it’s wrong.”

Well not all of us say drunk driving is wrong…. But for the sake of argument, let’s run with this popular misconception that it is wrong. We’ve got drunk driving, domestic violence, and safe sex. A little bit of safe sex is still safe, but there is no safe drunk driving (again, popular misconception but whatevs) or safe domestic violence, so it’s a different game. If there were safe domestic violence, we’d have to fund that to prevent unsafe domestic violence. Huckabee would probably benefit from that, since he’s known to go around slapping random staffers whenever tempted by bacon.

Huckabee Compares Safe Sex to Domestic Violence [HuffPo]

I hereby officially challenge Hucksterbee to a drunk driving exhibition contest.

" Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy." - William S Burroughs

I have no idea, but they did nothing to deserve getting whacked on the skull with a nightstick.

" Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy." - William S Burroughs