Jim Robinson traveled to Alaska to find the roughest, toughest GOP shill in the North. The three top candidates stood before him. All had made thousands of pro-war posts. All three had successfully avoided all froms of military service. None had ever shown the slightest fear of sitting behind the keyboard and insulting those they disagreed wtih.
Robinson was at a loss who to pick so he devised a test. He told the three that each was to go out into the Alaska night and shake hands with a grizzly bear and ravish an eskimo woman in the snow. The one who first completed both tasks would be the roughest shill in the North.
The first to return was Byteshredder. He looked dejected and confessed that when he confronted the bear to shake hands, he suddenly felt like Dick Cheney and decided he had better things to do.
Next to return was Badeye. He explained that he had caught the bear napping and rushed up and shook it's hand before it woke up. Then, looking dejected, he confessed that he had not been able to get it up for the eskimo girl.
Hours later Yukon retruned all clawed to shit. He burst through the door and cried: "Give me my title!" Wanting make sure that he was worthy, and remembering Badeye's failure, Jim Robinson first asked if Yukon had indeed ravished the eskimo girl. After a moment's puzzled silence Yukon replied: "No .... I shook hands with the eskimo girl."