Title: Joke - Source:
dinner table URL Source:[None] Published:Nov 22, 2007 Author:refuses to be named Post Date:2007-11-22 17:10:02 by Peppa Keywords:None Views:1565 Comments:47
Two blondes.
One says to the other, Which do you think is farther away from us, Florida, or the moon.
The other says, Duhhhhhhhhh, You can SEE the moon can't you?
The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
He asks the blonde clerk "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The blonde clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The pharmacist yells: "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"
The blonde clerk responds, "Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid to Cough!"
Bubba Bill and Junior Bush were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A blonde lady walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba Bill, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and an enounced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior Bush shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde? We ask for the height, and she gives us the length."
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?"
The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the Blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.
Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration, "CRAP ! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
My wife had to work yesterday's holiday at the nursing home at which she is employed.
An old gal who has long since reached the point of dementia to which, sadly, many of us are destined, rolled her wheelchair up beside a man sitting in his and promptly queried him.
"Would you like to screw me?"
Two nurses standing nearby heard her, broke up, and immediately spread the story around the facility, thereby lightening their holiday duty.