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Title: Last Minute shopping ideas. A womans guide to buying him a gift
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Published: Dec 1, 2007
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Post Date: 2007-12-01 21:44:50 by freepatriot32
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Keywords: gift giving, christmas, guys
Views: 175
Comments: 9
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these simple rules and you should have no problem. 1. When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why. 2. If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words, "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why. 3. If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. Again, no one knows why. 4. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts. 5. You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips. 6. Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer. 7. Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. We do not stink - we are "earthy". 8. Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why. 9. Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin any occasion and he will always have parts left over. 10. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Beaver Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Canadian Tire Store, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. ("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.") 11. Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell him the gas leaks. "Oh the thrill!The challenge! Who wants hamburger?" 12. Tickets to a Denver Broncos, Colorado Rockies, Central Texas Stampede games are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why. 13. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he gets a label maker. 14. It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why. 15. Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
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#1. To: freepatriot32 (#0)
very amusing 11. Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. They like those smokers too, for turkey, salmon, etc.
Ron Paul for President - Join a Ron Paul Meetup group today!
No stereotyping here...I hate frickin' tools...
what about those label makers?
Ron Paul for President - Join a Ron Paul Meetup group today!
If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he gets a label maker. lol! the reason, I've discovered, a man could use 17 cordless drills is so hopefully, somewhere in the house, one will actually be charged when he needs it. and it increases, although doesn't guarantee, the possibility that he'll be able to find the right size bit.
This is so full of truth it is transcendent. I have three cordless drills, enough tools to open a auto repair shop yesterday (I mean that)and covet a turbo charged Huskvarna mega man chain saw, thao I have cut down all the trees that I need for the next ten years.
"Satan / Cheney in "08" I have two smokers four grills (at least, allow some of them need to be tossed) and at least six propane tanks that I can still not figure out how I came into.
"Satan / Cheney in "08" Yeh - now that's a remote probably.
"Satan / Cheney in "08" Nope.
Nope. Yeh - I can do without that. I have no idea where anything is anyway tho I am sure to have at least three of them. So if I need it, I go buy one. Labels makers are for cat loving ice skating cross dressers.
"Satan / Cheney in "08"
#2. To: freepatriot32 (#0)
Remember...G-d saved more animals than people on the ark. www.siameserescue.org
#3. To: who knows what evil (#2)
#4. To: freepatriot32 (#0)
(Edited)
13. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw.
#5. To: freepatriot32 (#0)
Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
#6. To: robin (#1)
They like those smokers too, for turkey, salmon, etc.
#7. To: kiki (#4)
the reason, I've discovered, a man could use 17 cordless drills is so hopefully, somewhere in the house, one will actually be charged when he needs it. and it increases, although doesn't guarantee, the possibility that he'll be able to find the right size bit.
#8. To: robin (#3)
what about those label makers?
Remember...G-d saved more animals than people on the ark. www.siameserescue.org
#9. To: who knows what evil (#8)
what about those label makers?
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