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All is Vanity
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Title: Humor, Jokes, anyone? anyone?
Source: [None]
URL Source: http://EarlSource
Published: Dec 24, 2007
Author: all
Post Date: 2007-12-24 15:37:10 by Peppa
Keywords: Humor, Christmas, Music
Views: 4166
Comments: 79

I expect you all to try this cookie recipe and let me know how the cookies turned out. Merry Christmas.

Christmas Cookie Recipe

1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp salt 1 cup of brown sugar lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup nuts 2 cups of dried fruit 1 bottle Crown Royal

- Sample the Crown Royal to check quality.

- Take a large bowl, check the Crown Royal again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

- Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

- Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

- At this point it's best to make sure the Crown Royal is still OK, try another cup.. just in case.

- Turn off the mixer thingy.

- Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

- Pick the frigging fruit off floor...

- Mix on the turner.

- If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver.

- Sample the Crown Royal to check for tonsisticity.

- Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.... who giveshz a sheet.

- Check the Crown Royal.

- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

- Add one table.

- Add a spoon of ar, or somefink.... whatever you can find.

- Greash the oven.

- Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

- Don't forget to beat off the turner.

- Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

- Finish the bottle of Crown Royal.

- Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas


Poster Comment:

Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree." ~ Charlotte Carpenter.


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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 25.

#1. To: Peppa (#0)

Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree." ~ Charlotte Carpenter.

It's not in my heart, and I don't have a tree. Pfffft...bah, humbug!

who knows what evil  posted on  2007-12-24   15:46:50 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: who knows what evil (#1)

What did christianity ever do better than enslaving everyone to the politics of zionism. That's what I want to know.

nobody  posted on  2007-12-24   15:51:05 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: nobody (#3)

Catholics, Greek and Russian Orthodox, Lutherans and Presbyterians do not worship Zionism. The Presbyterians boycott certain products due to Israeli treatment of Palestinians.

robin  posted on  2007-12-24   15:57:30 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: robin (#6)

Catholics, Greek and Russian Orthodox, Lutherans and Presbyterians do not worship Zionism. The Presbyterians boycott certain products due to Israeli treatment of Palestinians.

"worship Zionism"?

I think you're shifting the comedy target here. I did not edit anything out of my post.

nobody  posted on  2007-12-24   16:07:33 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: nobody (#13)

enslaving everyone to the politics of zionism

I guess that is more accurate, but so many evangelicals have managed to make it part of their worship service, and I was thinking of them.

robin  posted on  2007-12-24   16:09:55 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#17. To: robin (#16) (Edited)

It hasn't changed though. At one time it was just catholics with their leadership, and what did they do except screw everyone, then luther, then the church of england, they all did incredibly stupid things regarding jews and others, apparently for the purpose of having them backfire.

nobody  posted on  2007-12-24   16:14:30 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#19. To: nobody (#17)

Luther wrote vehemently against the Jews. He was a full-blooded antisemite! However, so was the general population in EU and UK at the time.

www.humanitas-internation...documents/luther-jews.htm

robin  posted on  2007-12-24   16:22:07 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#22. To: robin (#19)

He was a full-blooded antisemite!

That and a quarter at starbucks will get you....

nobody  posted on  2007-12-24   16:26:04 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#25. To: nobody (#22)

A person who is unacquainted with the devil might wonder why they are so particularly hostile toward Christians. They have no reason to act this way, since we show them every kindness. They live among us, enjoy our shield and protection, they use our country and our highways, our markets and streets. Meanwhile our princes and rulers sit there and snore with mouths hanging open and permit the Jews to take, steal, and rob from their open money bags and treasures whatever they want. That is, they let the Jews, by means of their usury, skin and fleece them and their subjects and make them beggars with their own money. For the Jews, who are exiles, should really have nothing, and whatever they have must surely be our property. They do not work, and they do not earn anything from us, nor do we give or present it to them, and yet they are in possession of our money and goods and are our masters in our own country and in their exile. A thief is condemned to hang for the theft of ten florins, and if he robs anyone on the highway, he forfeits his head. But when a Jew steals and robs ten tons of gold through his usury, he is more highly esteemed than God himself.

He certainly warned people. That's worth at least a quarter.

robin  posted on  2007-12-24   16:30:05 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


Replies to Comment # 25.

#27. To: robin (#25)

I hear they have "reformed" the jews since then. In any event, hey, let's all pray the genetic jew-detector project shows some promise.

nobody  posted on  2007-12-24 16:34:33 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


End Trace Mode for Comment # 25.

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