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History See other History Articles Title: Will Rogers quotes "That's what a Congressman or a Senator is for -- to see that too much money don't accumulate in the national Treasury." "Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury!" "That's what a Congressman or a Senator is for -- to see that too much money don't accumulate in the national Treasury." Income taxes have made more liars out of the American people than golf. If we have Senators and Congressmen there that can't protect themselves against the evil temptations of lobbyists, we don't need to change our lobbies, we need to change our representatives. You can have all the advanced war methods you want, but, after all, nobody has ever invented a war that you don't have to have somebody in the guise of soldiers to stop the bullets. One of these days they are going to remove so much of the 'hooey' and the thousands of things the schools have become clogged up with, and we will find that we can educate our broods for about one-tenth of the price and learn 'em something that they might accidentally use after they escape. The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer. Ammunition beats persuasion when you are looking for freedom. You shake a slogan at an American and it's just like showing a hungry dog a bone. It will take America fifteen years of steady taking care of our own business and letting everybody else's alone, to get us back to where everybody speaks to us again. How is the government going to get the extra taxes? Out of the rich -- or just out of the poor, as usual? On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. I don't make jokes -- I just watch the government and report the facts. There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best. A Country can get more real joy out of just Hollering for their Freedom than they can if they get it. Your mothers get mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day, her mother was just on the verge of sending her to reform school. We are always yapping about the 'Good Old Days' and how we look back and enjoy it, but I tell you there is a lot of hooey to it. There is a whole lot of all our past lives that wasn't so hot. I see where they are going to be more strict with these robbers; when they catch 'em from now on, they're going to publish their names. An economist is a man that can tell you...what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too. Those tax-exempt bonds were put in so that a town or a state or a government could sell more bonds than it ought to. The United States investigates everything -- usually after it's dead. We are sure living in a peculiar time. You get more for not working than you will for working, and more for not raising a hog than for raising it. This stuff they are talking here in Congress costs the people of the United States $44 a page. That's beside what it costs to ship it to the asylums where it's read. I guess truth can hurt you worse in an election than about anything that can happen to you. America has a very unique record. We never lost a war or won a conference... There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but judges always put a little extra on you for Petty, which is kind of a fine for stupidness. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln. If we ever pass out as a great nation we ought to put on our tombstone, 'America died from a delusion that she has moral leadership'. It sure did kick up some excitement in the Senate when one Senator called the other Senators 'sons of Wild jackasses.' Well, if you thought it made the Senators hot, you wait till you see what happens when the jackasses hear how they have been slandered. Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate? A foreigner coming here and reading the Congressional Record would say that the President of the United States was elected solely for the purpose of giving Senators somebody to call a horse thief. Elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with Public Officials. Tomorrow is Labor Day, I suppose set by Act of Congress. Everything we do nowadays is either by, or against, Acts of Congress. How Congress knew anything about Labor is beyond us. Nothing makes a man, or a body of men, as mad as the truth. If there is no truth in it, they laugh it off. Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it. You see, in Washington they have these bodies, Senate and the House of Representatives. That is for the convenience of the visitors. If there is nothing funny happening in one, there is sure to be in the other, and in case one body passes a good bill, why, the other can see it in time and kill it. If we took Congress seriously, we would be worrying all the time. Farmers, get out your sense of humor! Congress meets to relieve you again next week. Of course nothing is ever done about a [presidential] commission report, except, they say, once a man at the state prison for the criminally insane actually read one once clear through. Then he did something about it. He made a bonfire that lasted a week. This thing about getting rid of a man in the Cabinet is all right, but there is one bad feature to it that few people realize. That is, that unfortunately every one of them is replaced by someone else. If it wasn't for that, this resignation business would be great. Will somebody please tell me what they do with all the Vice-Presidents a bank has? Why the United States is the biggest business institution in the world, and they got only one Vice-President and nobody has ever found anything for him to do. Things in our country run in spite of the government, not by the aid of it. Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. I'm not a member of any organized political party. I'm a Democrat. The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. There is good news from Washington today. The Congress is deadlocked and can't act. Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
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