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Title: George Carlin's Views on Aging (great stuff)
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Feb 24, 2008
Author: George Carlin
Post Date: 2008-02-24 09:30:02 by Jethro Tull
Keywords: None
Views: 138
Comments: 2

George Carlin on age.

IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE. AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING AND SEND IT ON. 33;

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" " I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony .YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40,REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "IWas JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2.Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3.Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4.Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6.The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8.Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9.Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER : Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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#1. To: Jethro Tull (#0) (Edited)

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/c/carlin-on-aging.htm

Thoughts on Aging from Comedian George Carlin-Fiction!

Summary of the eRumor: A humorous commentary on aging with some thoughtful suggestion about how to keep a youthful perspective while growing older and said to have been created by comedian George Carlin. The Truth: We've not found any evidence that this is from George Carlin. It is a combination of two different collections of sayings about aging that have been put together and credited to him. They've circulated since late in 2003.

The first one is all over the Internet without attribution and ends with the phrase "I'm one hundred and a half!"

The next one, titled "How to Stay Young" is also circulated widely by itself and is usually attributed to George Carlin, but we have not been able to find where it really came from....

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

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James Deffenbach  posted on  2008-02-24   10:21:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: James Deffenbach (#1)

Well I'll be. The old f**k...

Jethro Tull  posted on  2008-02-24   10:25:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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