Sean Hannity, (real name Mordechai Wiesenstein) the vocal, patriotic, pretend-Catholic, Irish political pundit represents all that is good about the media. Last Thursday, he had a hole drilled into the middle of his back that connects to his mouth, allowing Dick Cheney to maintain full control of what he says. His turn-ons include performing circumcisions, Boy Scout camping trips, humping the legs of authority figures, and accusing Democrats of emboldening the enemy. His turn-offs are Islam and people who don't agree 100% with everything he says. He is still awaiting legal immigration status to become a US citizen. In early 2004, Hannity graduated with his master's degree in Freedomology 
Sean Hannity in Full Marionette
Outfit. Note separate eyebrow
controls.