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Title: Banned From Wal-mart
Source:
E-mail from my Aunt
URL Source: http://None
Published: Mar 18, 2008
Author: Unk
Post Date: 2008-03-18 14:49:06 by Original_Intent
Keywords: Wal-mart, humor, shopping
Views: 452
Comments: 14
Banned from Wal-mart You MUST read this...all the way to the end. If you're not in near hysterics, you have a very different sense of humor than I do! I would love to 'hang out' with Mr. Samsel....he would keep me in stiches!! This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. after I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart. Dear Mrs. Samsel, in the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.' 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked t he clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least. 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!' Regards, Tom Richards Walmart Manager
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#1. To: christine, TwentyTwelve, Wudidiz, Tom007, richard9151, Ferret Mike, robin, angle, Ghengis Ghandi, Kamala, aristeides, Peppa, tom007, FOH, _______, lodwick, Burkeman1, Brian S, all (#0)
(((((Shop Till You Drop Ping)))))
"The difference between an honorable man and a moral man is that an honorable man regrets a discreditable act even when it has worked and he is in no danger of being caught." ~ H. L. Mencken
This is one unhappy shopper. His wife must be a real pain. ;p That reminds me, I need to add something to the shopping list I gave my husband this morning.
'Individuals should not take responsibility for their own defense. That’s what the police are for. ... If I oppose individuals defending themselves, I have to support police defending them. I have to support a police state.”' Alan Dershowitz
Funny stuff - thanks.
ROFL!
"The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear." -- Herbert Sebastien Agar (1897-1980) Source: The Time for Greatness, 1942
"It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brush fires of freedom in the minds of men." -- Samuel Adams (1722-1803)‡
Don't worry - he'll forget anyway.
"The difference between an honorable man and a moral man is that an honorable man regrets a discreditable act even when it has worked and he is in no danger of being caught." ~ H. L. Mencken
Glad you all enjoyed. I have to admit that I laughed again when I read through it tonight. I think my favorite is a tie between: and "The difference between an honorable man and a moral man is that an honorable man regrets a discreditable act even when it has worked and he is in no danger of being caught." ~ H. L. Mencken
A TOUGH OLD COWBOY FROM WYOMING, COUNSELED HIS GRANDSON THAT IF HE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF GUN POWDER ON HIS OATMEAL EVERY MORNING. THE GRANDSON DID THIS RELIGIOUSLY TO THE AGE OF 103 WHEN HE DIED. HE LEFT BEHIND 14 CHILDREN, 30 GRANDCHILDREN, 45 GREAT-GRAND-CHILDREN, 25 GREAT- GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, AND A 15 FOOT HOLE WHERE THE CREMATORIUM USED TO BE. ;) ==== Hey, I was wondering if you have ever grown white tomatoes? I found a couple that sound fantastic. One for salad, the other for sauce. Have you seen these? Italian Ice www.burpee.com/product/ve...y+tomatoes/tomato+italian +ice+-+packet+(30+seeds).do Cream Sausage Tomatoe "The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear." -- Herbert Sebastien Agar (1897-1980) Source: The Time for Greatness, 1942
That's a Cowboy way to go. In answer to your question: Yes, I have grown White Tomatoes. I've grown a larger variety - years ago and grew a White Cherry Tomato (Dr. Carolyn) last year. In all honesty they are not really to my liking. If you are looking for a mild fruity tomato they are worth growing, and they are worth growing once to see if they are to your liking. After all different people have different tastes. My favorites are the Black Tomatoes and the Orange varieties. I have others I like as well. My all time favorites list would include: Red: Sioux Carmello St. Pierre (Baker Creek is the only seed source I know of.) Pruden's Purple Brandywine. Red Cherry: Peacevine (good for containers) Sweet One Million (Not good for containers - this sucker gets huge) Isis Candy (actually a bi-color) - very fruity - more like a fruit than a vegetable. I eat them straight off the bush in multitude. A large cherry and very very productive. Orange: Yellow Brandywine (Platfoot Strain) These are the most scrumptious tomato I have ever grown. Everyone I have shared it with goes "WOW". The one drawback is that they are not terribly productive so grow two or three. Jaune Flamme - a smaller Orange tomato and a French Heirloom that is a great culinary tomato - it makes a fabulous Orange Pasta Sauce. Persimmon Yellow: Czech's Excellent Yellow (Seedsaver's Exchange only) Black (actually dark dark red): Nyagous (I am growing a couple of others this year as a trial.) Orange Cherry: Sungold - although Cerise is supposed to be as good and is an open-pollinated non-hybrid. Of course I have grown others, but these are some of my all time favorites off the top of my head.
"The difference between an honorable man and a moral man is that an honorable man regrets a discreditable act even when it has worked and he is in no danger of being caught." ~ H. L. Mencken
My all time favorites list would include: Red: Sioux Carmello St. Pierre (Baker Creek is the only seed source I know of.) Pruden's Purple Brandywine. Red Cherry: Peacevine (good for containers) Sweet One Million (Not good for containers - this sucker gets huge) Isis Candy (actually a bi-color) - very fruity - more like a fruit than a vegetable. I eat them straight off the bush in multitude. A large cherry and very very productive. Orange: Yellow Brandywine (Platfoot Strain) These are the most scrumptious tomato I have ever grown. Everyone I have shared it with goes "WOW". The one drawback is that they are not terribly productive so grow two or three. Jaune Flamme - a smaller Orange tomato and a French Heirloom that is a great culinary tomato - it makes a fabulous Orange Pasta Sauce. Persimmon Yellow: Czech's Excellent Yellow (Seedsaver's Exchange only) Black (actually dark dark red): Nyagous (I am growing a couple of others this year as a trial.) Orange Cherry: Sungold - although Cerise is supposed to be as good and is an open-pollinated non-hybrid. Of course I have grown others, but these are some of my all time favorites off the top of my head. That's quite a list OI! Thanks so much for the tips and description. I only have two started, Tumbling Tom by recommendation, and the Ping Pong Pinks. Our local Farmers Market is usually fairly well stocked, but last year was a little weak. Time to give it a go myself. Space is an issue, but heck using 5 gallon buckets isn't out of the question. I have the Baker Creek catalog so I think I just order up today! The Iris and yellow brandywine sound excellent. And I do want a sauce tomatoe. Creamy not gritty. This is new to me, so I appreciate the advice very much! I do think I'm going to try the Italian Ice. It better not be fussy.
"The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear." -- Herbert Sebastien Agar (1897-1980) Source: The Time for Greatness, 1942
If you have room to set them up in a sunny spot, and the cash to buy them, then self watering planters are a good way to go. I am increasingly shifting my garden into small raised beds or containers. I have limited space as well, but I have a sunny blacktop driveway that is ideal for containers to grow melons and peppers (with your handle I would think Peppers a natural choice ;-) ). I'm growing the yellow Tumbling Tom in a container this year. There are 3 candidates for self watering planters: The Grow Box I am going to order and try 3 of these. I'd like to do the ten pack but I have other stuff I need to buy for the garden. Gardener's Supply Tomato Success Kit (you can also buy the planter seperate - and they have larger more decorative ones too). I have 2 of these I am trialing this year (just the planter box since I am using them for melons.) The Earthbox The newer model looks intriguing - I did not like the older one because it was too shallow. The new one looks deeper. Instead of buying their covers though you can get SRM Red Plastic (for tomatoes and Strawberries) (Pinetree Garden Seeds has the best price for small orders) or IRT 76 (melons, peppers, cucumbers) (I get mine from Territorial Seed Company) Plastic mulches in bulk for much much less. Use the landscapers "U" pins to hold them in place (Pinetree again or locally from a landscape supply store).
"The difference between an honorable man and a moral man is that an honorable man regrets a discreditable act even when it has worked and he is in no danger of being caught." ~ H. L. Mencken
Wow, Pinetree is wonderful! Thanks for the link! Territorial has Red Samurai Carrots! These look very much like the type I used to buy at Hmong Market some years back. They were crackin!
"The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear." -- Herbert Sebastien Agar (1897-1980) Source: The Time for Greatness, 1942
"The difference between an honorable man and a moral man is that an honorable man regrets a discreditable act even when it has worked and he is in no danger of being caught." ~ H. L. Mencken
#2. To: Original_Intent (#0)
#3. To: Original_Intent (#1)
Why do young and old couples shop together, for crying out loud?
#4. To: Original_Intent (#0)
"What destroys me, strengthens me." ~ Ashley Alexandra (Youmans) Dupre
#5. To: Original_Intent (#1)
#6. To: Original_Intent (#0)
#7. To: robin (#2)
This is one unhappy shopper. His wife must be a real pain. ;p That reminds me, I need to add something to the shopping list I gave my husband this morning.
#8. To: lodwick. Wudidiz, Peppa, Ghostdogtxn (#3)
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
#9. To: Original_Intent (#8)
Good stuff OI!!
#10. To: Peppa, Artisan, Duckhunter (#9)
#11. To: Original_Intent (#10)
In answer to your question: Yes, I have grown White Tomatoes. I've grown a larger variety - years ago and grew a White Cherry Tomato (Dr. Carolyn) last year. In all honesty they are not really to my liking. If you are looking for a mild fruity tomato they are worth growing, and they are worth growing once to see if they are to your liking. After all different people have different tastes. My favorites are the Black Tomatoes and the Orange varieties. I have others I like as well.
#12. To: Peppa, Artisan, Wudidiz, christine, TwentyTwelve (#11)
#13. To: Original_Intent (#12)
Pinetree Garden Seeds has the best price for small orders) or IRT 76 (melons, peppers, cucumbers) (I get mine from Territorial Seed Company) Plastic mulches in bulk for much much less. Use the landscapers "U" pins to hold them in place (Pinetree again or locally from a landscape supply store).
#14. To: (#13)
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