I was coming home from a day's work this afternoon, and right outside of town, I saw lots of flashing lights and cops standing in the road. I turned and said to my helper, "Here we go! I get to get arrested today! Woot!"
He asked, "Why? You got warrants?" I said, "Nope, I just like to bust their balls!" He said, "Oh shit!" hehehe
So i take my place in the line of traffic and crawl along while the Official Scrutinizers check out everyone's stickers on the windshield. They were also running a license plate scanner to see if any of the cars were stolen or if anyone had fallen out of favor with the dictators.
When it is my turn to have my rights violated, the kind fascist just waved me along and said, "Go ahead." as all my official vehicle tax stamps were in order.
I mutter, "Yeah, fuck you." under my breath, being disappointed that I wasn't asked where I was coming from or what I was doing.
I guess he heard me cuz he turned and stared at me as I crawled away only having to stop once I got about 20 feet away cuz some old lady was stopped, afraid to go around a cop on the side of the road giving out a ticket.
While I was waiting for the old lady to get her courage up, another fine Gestapo officer walked by, and in a friendly sort of way, I said, "You guys really ought to find something more important to do."
Yay, we have reaction!
He puffed up his tail feathers and inflated his breast and asked me just what I meant by that. I told him that as a citizen I have a right to travel freely, and that I resented being stopped for this nonsense. I may as well have told him his mother is a ho. He did not like my implication. I forget now what his response was, but it was something to the effect that they are doing this for my own good, and I had better be happy about it. He mentioned something about the number of hardened criminals they apprehend doing this. "yeah, all those kids with expired inspections..."
I said this ain't China or Russia, we don't do this crap in America. I was ordered to pull ahead and off to the side.
He asked for my papers, which I gave him, all the while protesting the inconvenience and the violation of my rights. He said he hears that dumb story all the time, about rights. The sick fuck.
He gave my truck the once over, and asked me which one of the three violations he found did I wish to be written up for. Being the pest that I am, naturally, I said, "Give me all three! Give me four or five, I don't care. I'll just see you in court, subpoena the video tape that shows I was ticketed because I expressed my displeasure, get the charges dropped and then sue you personally for harassment." He said he hears that all the time too. I wonder why?
We exchanged a few more words, but I was ever so careful to piss him off while not breaking the law. :)
Oh yeah, there was the part where he asked me if my time was so important that I could not put up with a bit of a delay, to which I responded that my time is worth more to me than his time, her time, their time, everyone's time, because it is my time.
So now he goes back to his Nazimobile, and I wait.
And I wait.
And I wait some more.
Then I figured out that he was just biding his time to piss me off. Cool. I get it. So me and the helper turn on the radio, listen to fat hannity and talk politics and liberty and stuff, and just relax and enjoy the view of Vroman's Nose.
Finally the capable crusader gets out of his car, walks up and tells me how as a taxpaying citizen of Middleburgh, I should be concerned that there was a robbery in town today and that they are there trying to apprehend the criminal. So, I said, "You're full of it. Then why are you stopping me on the way INTO town?" and I laughed, so did my helper.
He said that I should also note that he wasn't going to give me a ticket, and that he hoped that he didn't waste too much of my precious time, emphasizing the precious time part, in stupid, Barney Fife sort of way.
I had been waiting for that.
I said, "No problem, we're done for the day. We're in no hurry."
The hair stood up on his neck. :)
I drove off satisfied that I pissed off a Nazi, didn't get arrested, and had fun doing it.
An important thing to note is that at least 50 cars came and went while I was there. I was the only one who expressed displeasure to the thugs. Sad. If half of us did that, we'd see and end to those bullshit roadblocks.
Poster Comment:
I feel so good after encounters with the Nazis. I just had to share. hehehe