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Pious Perverts
See other Pious Perverts Articles

Title: How to Tell When a Politician is Lying
Source: Weekly World News
URL Source: http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/how_to/61544
Published: Jul 4, 2005
Author: Mike Foster
Post Date: 2005-07-04 19:36:26 by YertleTurtle
Keywords: Politician, Lying, Tell
Views: 129
Comments: 6

Fed up with having the wool pulled over your eyes? YOU can tell when your favorite politician is lying through his teeth by using the technique of a top body-language expert!

"Experienced politicians have learned to avoid body language associated with deceit," says Dr. Stephanie Gotwell of Chicago. "They don't, for example, look away when fibbing -- instead they stare brazenly into the camera."

Luckily, you can see through even the wiliest politician.

"Just like a poker player, every politician has a 'tell' -- a tiny signal he unwittingly gives out whenever he's being deceptive," Dr. Gotwell explains.

"Once a politician has been caught in a single lie, all you have to do is scrutinize a videotape of the speech and find his 'tell' -- so you can't be hoodwinked again."

Here, from the expert, are the tells of some of America's best known political figures:

BILL CLINTON -- The former Prez gestures with his index finger when lying. Most infamously, he did that on national TV when insisting, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

GEORGE W. BUSH -- Dubya's tell is a smirk before the fib. Says Dr. Gotwell: "You see the President doing it in his State of the Union address of January 2003, when he warned that Iraq had WMDs, citing as proof that 'The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa.' "Of course, the White House already knew that evidence had been forged."

DONALD RUMSFELD-- The crusty Secretary of Defense grimaces as if experiencing hemorrhoidal pain when he's being deceptive. Says Dr. Gotwell: "Rummy can be seen doing this last spring when he vowed publicly that all Iraqis detained by the Coalition would be 'treated subject to the Geneva Conventions.' "

DICK CHENEY -- The Vice President's lips always twist when he tells a whopper -- most memorably when he stated during the vice presidential debates that he'd never met Sen. John Edwards before that night.

CONDOLEEZZA RICE-- The Secretary of State's dead giveaway is a nervous laugh. Says Dr. Gotwell, "For example, prior to the invasion of Iraq, Condi told CNN that Iraq's aluminum tubes were 'only really suited for nuclear weapons' and warned, 'We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.' "But experts had already told her the tubes were for small artillery shells."

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#1. To: YertleTurtle (#0)

The crusty Secretary of Defense grimaces as if experiencing hemorrhoidal pain when he's being deceptive.

Like this?

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda. (Applause.)" - George W. Bush, May 24, 2005 (click for source)

robin  posted on  2005-07-04   19:45:15 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: YertleTurtle (#0)

The crusty Secretary of Defense grimaces as if experiencing hemorrhoidal pain when he's being deceptive.

Yea, I guess old Cheney just sees these as speed bumps when having a private session with the secretary.....aarrrgggg ;{

timetobuildaboat  posted on  2005-07-04   19:48:47 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: robin (#1)

Reporter: "Mr. Rumsfeld, are you experiencing hemorrhoidal pain right now?"

Rumsfeld: "Yes, I am."

YertleTurtle  posted on  2005-07-04   19:49:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: robin (#1)

hemorrhoidal pain

He must have the pain.

I see he has a big bastard right on his forehead above his left eye..

Grumble Jones  posted on  2005-07-04   20:01:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: YertleTurtle (#0)

How to Tell When a Politician is Lying

I still think the adage "When their lips are moving" is quite adequate...

If the Founding Fathers had known how badly the American Experiment of Independence would turn-out, they would have sent a letter of apology to the King and Parliament, returned to their plantations & prepared the slaves for a return trip to Africa!

TaZ  posted on  2005-07-04   20:08:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: YertleTurtle (#0)

It's unusual to see the Weekly Weird News write a serious critique of the Bush administration. Things are just blatently bad, and even the (tradionally pro-Republican) WWN are starting to see it.

Reality is becoming surrealistic fodder for this kind of tabloid anyhow.

"War is the health of the state" --- Randolph Bourne

PnbC  posted on  2005-07-05   16:30:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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