4um: Fox News Morans Think Lincoln Debated Emancipated Slave

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Title: Fox News Morans Think Lincoln Debated Emancipated Slave
Source: Wonkette
URL Source: http://wonkette.com/385648/fox-news ... coln-debated-emancipated-slave
Published: May 2, 2008
Author: Wonkette
Post Date: 2008-05-02 21:52:45 by robin
Ping List: *Humor-Weird News* Subscribe to *Humor-Weird News*
Keywords: None
Views: 338
Comments: 10

civics for poets

Fox News Morans Think Lincoln Debated Emancipated Slave

So a couple days ago on Fox and Friends they were talking about Hillary Clinton challenging Barack Obama to a "Lincoln-Douglas debate." They referred, of course, to the grueling series of seven three-hour debates held in 1858 between Illinois senatorial candidates Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas, who was a shrimpy pro-slavery jackass. But those silly graphical artists at Fox thought the Douglas in question was Frederick Douglass, the former slave and abolitionist who basically agreed with Lincoln even if Lincoln had to hedge a bit to get elected! The point is, Hillary Clinton wants 21 more hours of debates which is why she must be stopped.
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#1. To: robin (#0)
Fox News Morans Think Lincoln Debated Emancipated Slave

Please tell me the typo was intentional. This reminds me of the idiots who can't even spell "child" when referring to "no child left behind." And if you don't believe me, take a look at this Google search and see how many school districts and other educational organizations fuck that up.
"I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price." Vir Cotto, Babylon 5
orangedog posted on 2008-05-02 22:21:03 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#2. To: orangedog (#1) (Edited)
That's no typo! This is Wonkette! The famous Moron/Moran sign fits this Fox News story like a glove.

“President Bush has talked about our staying in Iraq for 50 years,” “Maybe a hundred ... ... that’d be fine with me,” McCain responds
Hillary: "I want the Iranians to know that if I'm the president, we will attack Iran in the next 10 years, during which they might foolishly consider launching an attack on Israel, we would be able to totally obliterate them."
robin posted on 2008-05-02 22:24:35 ET (1 image) Reply Trace Private Reply
#3. To: robin (#2)
You have to wonder if that guy was the hero of his trailer park.
And before anyone gets on their high horse about trailer park insults, I spent the first 6 years of my life living in a trailer, so GFY in advance. [Yeah, I'm in one of those moods tonight]
"I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price." Vir Cotto, Babylon 5
orangedog posted on 2008-05-02 22:32:14 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#4. To: robin (#0)
Frederick Douglass, the former slave and abolitionist who basically agreed with Lincoln even if Lincoln had to hedge a bit to get elected!

That was Lincoln's Rev. Douglass problem.
I've already said too much.
MUDDOG posted on 2008-05-02 23:12:50 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#5. To: robin (#0)
But those silly graphical artists at Fox thought the Douglas in question was Frederick Douglass

I looked at the picture, then I read the info and I laughed....
And I thought no way! So I went to the site and yep. Is so.
THEN, I started reading the comments and I have not stopped laughing!!
'Cuse me, got to go; didn't finish!
When a man who is honestly mistaken hears the truth, he will either quit being mistaken or cease to be honest. ++++++++++ Attention, Shrub; A life of evil is ultimately a life of wretchedness.
richard9151 posted on 2008-05-03 0:17:35 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#6. To: robin, orangedog (#2)
morans.
"Satan / Cheney in "08"
tom007 posted on 2008-05-03 0:22:42 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#7. To: robin (#0)
http://wonkette.com/385648/fox-news ... coln-debated-emancipated-slave

Some of the comments from the readers at the site;
Maybe Fox needs to start spelling news "noos", like the items at the store that aren't really what they say, but kind of are: krab, cheez...
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You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to climb under my desk with a bottle of whiskey, cry, and try to convince myself that you made this up.
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Fox only claims to be "fair and balanced," not "accurate and historically correct."
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That's ridiculous. Everyone knows Frederick Douglass was the first black to play in the major leagues.
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fox news' theme song should be played by a jug band.
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Well, at least it wasn't Michael Douglas.
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i dont know which is worse: hearing hillary lie and yap for 20 hours, or having Fox News confused Fredrick Douglass with Stephen A. Douglas...jesus fucking christ this country is going straight to shit
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The graphics guy at Fox attended Yale as a legacy student.
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A news outlet doesn't need to spend money on research or accuracy when it has pretty blondes in short, tight skirts.
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Ironically, Frederick Douglass looks like Hillary and Abe Lincoln looks like an uglier Barry.
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You in the reality-based universe just don't get it. Fox News said Lincoln was pro-slavery and debated a former slave and insurgent. They have made their own reality and we must abide by it.
Just as we have done ever since that night eight years ago when the radio station I listened to reversed their projection that Gore won Florida because...Fox News said Bush won.
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This reminds me of Edward R. Murrow once said.
"It's probably not a good idea to get totally baked and then try to run a 24 hour news channel"
Or maybe it was my roomate who said that. I don't know. I was probably baked at the time.
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yeah, but this involved multiple brain farts on the part of multiple Fox employees. And I don't think it counts as a brain fart if the person is just too dumb to live. Then it is normal brain activity.
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Did Frederick Douglass ask for some muthafuckin' iced tea during the debate?
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Thanks for the history lesson. I, for one, thought Frederick Douglass was Chuck Berry's drummer.
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Can we get a photoshop of Obama's head on Miley Cyrus' magazine photo ? Serolf Divad ?
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Being as Obama is tall, eloquent and less "experienced", this would cast Hilz in the Douglas role, no? Which would give her a chance to do the entire debate in black face with that neat slave woman dialect she tried last year. You know she'd do it. This would be a debate worth watching.
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If Hillary Clinton grew a beard, people would like her more.
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Those Right Wingers are always trying to re-write history.
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OK, as an archivist, I have to say this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Even better than the BBC confusing Jackie Wilson with Jockey Wilson!
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It's all because of inadequate public schooling, of course. If the people who worked for Fox had been given vouchers and allowed to attend the private/religious school of their choice, they would have learned about Stephen Douglas.
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OK, I spelled it wrong - it's Jocky Wilson, fat white dart player, easily confused with Jackie Wilson, when Dexys Midnight Runners appeared on Top of the Pops in the early 1980s - Wikipedia says it was intentional, but this is the BBC we're talking about: [www.tvradiobits.co.uk]
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Oy vey. Is there *anyone* around FOX with a triple-digit IQ and a secondary education?
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Fox News has branded newcomer Frederick Douglass as the perfect presidential candidate.
Sean Hannity: So, Mr. Douglass, you feel like the blacks should not continue to let the Democratic Party to take you for granted?
Frederick Douglass: I am a Republican, a black, dyed in the wool Republican, and I never intend to belong to any other party than the party of freedom and progress.
Alan Colmes: Mr. Douglass, the Republican party hasn't been the party of freedom and progress since...
Sean Hannity: C'mon Alan. Let Mr. Douglass speak. Now, Mr. Douglass, how will you be able to secure this nation against terrorism?
Frederick Douglass: The life of the nation is secure only while the nation is honest, truthful, and virtuous.
Sean Hannity: So what, exactly are you suggesting?
Frederick Douglass: The thing worse than rebellion is the thing that causes rebellion.
Sean Hannity: Are you suggesting that America is somehow responsible for 9/11? I was with you at first, but...
Alan Colmes: C'mon Sean. Let the man speak. So, Mr. Douglass, you are supposedly a candidate who transcends race. What is your view of black/white relations?
Frederick Douglass: The white man's happiness cannot be purchased by the black man's misery.
Sean Hannity: You are a racist, Sir! You are a raving, anti- American racist...
Alan Colmes: Hold on Sean. Mr. Douglass, why don't you wear a flag pin?
Frederick Douglass: What to the Slave is the 4th of July?
Sean Hannity: That's it Frederick "Kunta" Douglass. I've had enough of your anti- American diatribe!
Alan Colmes: Mr. Douglass, you attend a black church. What is its mission statement?
Frederick Douglass: Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.
Sean Hannity: Oh, so now there's a conspiracy, huh? You, sir, are a BIGOT!!! A whitey hating bigot and a communist. That's Marxist language, Mr. Douglass!
Alan Colmes: Next. Abraham Lincoln, the moderate Republican candidate from Illinois.
Sean Hannity: He's a commie, too. But he's not as scary.
Alan Co
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So, what happened? Did Frederick Douglass win the debates and yet Lincoln still became President? Did Frederick Douglass somehow win the slave states to his noble cause? Who can tell us if not Fux Nooz???
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It's like LOLnews but with less cats and more wtf.
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I am shocked that Fox and Friends, pinnacle of accuracy that it is, should make such an error.
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McCain wanted to see the debates, but the nursing home staff wouldn't let him go out on his own.
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No, that IS Stephen Douglas, but the Fox Noos graphic artists just out of force of habit darkened up the image of whoever debates the Repubican.
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Three sure-fire ways to lower your IQ by 20 points.
1. Strike yourself three times in the forehead, hard, with a 4-pound deadblow hammer.
2. Drink a quart of formaldehyde.
3. Watch an entire episode of Fox & Friends, with the commercials.
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Wait, you mean Lincoln didn't debate Buster Douglas?
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...so stupid it has to be true
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Is it a coincidence that "Fox and Friends" sounds like a Nickelodeon show?
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Clearly, everyone here misunderstands their history. We're talking about the FABLED Lincoln-Douglas debates. FOX news was simply using artistic license in recreating an image for us. Some scholars maintain there once existed a book, but that was lost centuries ago. All we have now are Murdoch and Cindy McCain sitting around a crystal ball snorting speedballs trying to figure this all out for us. Thank God!
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You are giving this site too much credit. It isn't as smart as it thinks it is.
It watches FOX News, for God's sake...
What is up with that?
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AND MY FAVORITE IS (DRUM ROLL PLEASE):
If Hillary Clinton grew a beard, people would like her more.
When a man who is honestly mistaken hears the truth, he will either quit being mistaken or cease to be honest. ++++++++++ Attention, Shrub; A life of evil is ultimately a life of wretchedness.
richard9151 posted on 2008-05-03 0:41:53 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#8. To: richard9151 (#7)
Well, at least it wasn't Michael Douglas.

I liked that one.
"To destroy a people you must first sever their roots." - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
robin posted on 2008-05-03 0:44:07 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#9. To: robin (#0)
They referred, of course, to the grueling series of seven three-hour debates held in 1858 between Illinois senatorial candidates Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas, who was a shrimpy pro-slavery jackass. But those silly graphical artists at Fox thought the Douglas in question was Frederick Douglass, the former slave and abolitionist who basically agreed with Lincoln even if Lincoln had to hedge a bit to get elected!

Stephen Douglas, the shrimpy pro-slavery jackass, won the election. The Lincoln-Douglas debates occurred as part of the Senate race in Illinois.
As for the 15,000 or so books mythologizing Lincoln as some sort of messiah of the black man, none is written by a black man. For the opinion of Frederick Douglass, the following may temper the mythology:
http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/index.asp?documentprint=39
Oration in Memory of Abraham Lincoln
Frederick Douglass April 14, 1876 Delivered at the Unveiling of The Freedmen’s Monument in Memory of Abraham Lincoln Lincoln Park, Washington, D.C.
Friends and Fellow-Citizens:
* * *
Fellow-citizens, in what we have said and done today, and in what we may say and do hereafter, we disclaim everything like arrogance and assumption. We claim for ourselves no superior devotion to the character, history, and memory of the illustrious name whose monument we have here dedicated today. We fully comprehend the relation of Abraham Lincoln both to ourselves and to the white people of the United States. Truth is proper and beautiful at all times and in all places, and it is never more proper and beautiful in any case than when speaking of a great public man whose example is likely to be commended for honor and imitation long after his departure to the solemn shades, the silent continents of eternity. It must be admitted, truth compels me to admit, even here in the presence of the monument we have erected to his memory, Abraham Lincoln was not, in the fullest sense of the word, either our man or our model. In his interests, in his associations, in his habits of thought, and in his prejudices, he was a white man.
He was preeminently the white man’s President, entirely devoted to the welfare of white men. He was ready and willing at any time during the first years of his administration to deny, postpone, and sacrifice the rights of humanity in the colored people to promote the welfare of the white people of this country. In all his education and feeling he was an American of the Americans. He came into the Presidential chair upon one principle alone, namely, opposition to the extension of slavery. His arguments in furtherance of this policy had their motive and mainspring in his patriotic devotion to the interests of his own race. To protect, defend, and perpetuate slavery in the states where it existed Abraham Lincoln was not less ready than any other President to draw the sword of the nation. He was ready to execute all the supposed guarantees of the United States Constitution in favor of the slave system anywhere inside the slave states. He was willing to pursue, recapture, and send back the fugitive slave to his master, and to suppress a slave rising for liberty, though his guilty master were already in arms against the Government. The race to which we belong were not the special objects of his consideration.

Perhaps Douglass was less than enthusiastic about some of the words that came out of Lincoln's mouth.

nolu_chan posted on 2008-05-05 3:30:11 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#10. To: robin (#0)
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/24359820#24359820
Lincoln - Frederick Douglass debate
MSNBC coverage of FOX goof
From Verdict with Dan Abrams

nolu_chan posted on 2008-05-05 3:39:11 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
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Fox News Morans Think Lincoln Debated Emancipated Slave