According to the Washington Times (a phrase we try to use sparingly), the vice presidential prospects of Virginia Senator Jim Webb have increased because of the passage of a new GI bill sponsored by Webb. Even aside from the bill, Webb has been the leading choice of many Democrats, mosty because of his combat veteran, tough guy image. Interestingly, the community that most seems to want to want Webb is the highly educated, internet using segment of the Obama coalition. If you know of a skinny, male, clunky glasses-wearing Obama fan who graduated from Oberlin, he's probably rooting for Webb to get the nod. There's nothing like the love nerds have for the one a-hole jock that's nice to them (it's the same reason the press loves McCain).
So what does Webb bring to the ticket, besides his thrilling, frightening masculinity? The goods below.
JIM WEBB Age: 61
Astrological sign: Aquarius
Quick bio:
Goes to Vietnam
Gets lots of combat medals.
Secretary of the Navy under Reagan.
Runs for Senate against George Allen.
George Allen calls a guy "macaca."
Webb wins.
A-hole factor (1-10): 5
Vibe: Manly
RGI (Regular Guyness Index): +7
Veteran: +2
Combat veteran: +3
Has killed people: +7
Won an Emmy for a PBS show: -2
Novelist: -3
Pro: Having a guy on the ticket who has killed people and shoots guns and stuff makes the ticket look manly.
Con: Would remind you that Obama needs to be around a guy who has killed people and shoots guns and stuff to feel manly.
Pro: Has steamy sex scenes in novels.
Con: Has steamy sex scenes in novels.
Pro: Has been called a "boor" by George Will
Con: There is no con to that one.
Pro: Super manly.
Con: Which means he's obviously gay.
How Bangable by Opposite Sex (1-10): 7.
How Bangable by Same Sex (1-10): 9.
Most likely scandal:
During a flashback at a State of the Union speech, Webb wipes out most of the cabinet with his bare hands.
Odds of being chosen: 3 - 1.
Notable quote: "She stood back up, her face smiling proudly and her round breasts glistening from a spotlight in the dim bar, and left the banana on the bar, cut in four equal sections by the muscles of her vagina."
Taken from Webb's announcement of campaign for U.S. Senate.
(Not really. It's from one of his novels, but this is the sort of thing that might make vice presidential speeches a lot more fun if he gets the nod.)