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Title: Dating Tips: Five Signs of a Great Date
Source: Yahoo Personals
URL Source: http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/s ... ducy1vZi1hLWdyZWF0LWRhdGUEenoD
Published: Jun 30, 2008
Author: Christine Hassler and Jason Ryan Dorsey
Post Date: 2008-07-04 11:31:39 by Rotara
Keywords: None
Views: 265
Comments: 19

Perspectives from both sexes

Online matchmaking sites, chat rooms, and even Facebook have forever changed how many couples initially meet. Regardless of how you come to know your potential love interest, there will be a time when you have that initial face-to-face date. This nerve-racking experience can cause you to second-guess your every action. Without the luxury of a dating coach secretly transmitting step-by-step instructions to you, how do you know if your first date is going well? Authors Christine Hassler and Jason Ryan Dorsey offer you five signs -- from two different perspectives -- that let you know your odds of getting a second date.

SHE SAYS:

1: You're actually excited to go out with him. And he seems excited to be going out with you, too. If you feel more excitement about going to the dentist than going on the date, you should have said "no" in the first place. Your lack of enthusiasm is likely to smother any chances you will hit it off, so either cancel the date or convince yourself to be open-minded. If he greets you with a smile and is on time, you are off to a good start.

2: He spent time planning the date. Did he think beyond just asking you out and make a reservation somewhere? Is he taking you to a meal or just a "meet for drinks after work" trial run? Did he print out directions and consider parking or is he obviously winging it? If you see that he has made some effort to make sure the night goes smoothly, or if he's visibly nervous about impressing you, then the guy actually thinks there's potential -- his intentions, however, remain to be seen.

3: He picks up the bill.

“Call me old-fashioned, but if he asked you out, he should reach for the check.”

Call me old-fashioned, but if he asked you out, he should reach for the check. If he doesn't, then either he's lost interest in you or he's just cheap. That said, don't order the most expensive drink in the house to go with your lobster. Be considerate. And speaking of top-shelf martini's, if it's clear to you that the only way to get through your date is to consume as many drinks as the waiter will bring, you might as well cut your losses, fake a headache, and go home where you can watch re-runs of "Sex in the City." The same is true if he starts throwing back the drinks faster than you.

4: He maintains eye contact throughout the night. If you notice he's squinting to see the backside of a scantily clad waitress, wait for the guy who actually makes an effort to focus on you. Your eye contact should coincide with a nice ebb and flow of conversation, not just him or you doing all the talking. And the date is doomed if he calls you by the wrong name or forgets your name entirely.

5: You both can't wait to talk to each other again -- and I stress actually talk, not send emails or text messages. And ladies, the only way he's going to call you the next day to tell you how much fun he had on the date, is if you go to separate homes when the date ends. A great first date always leaves something to the imagination...

HE SAYS:

1: She actually shows up. When you've been stood up as many times as I have, you feel a sense of relief when your date arrives. That feeling, however, can instantly vanish, like the time my date's father opened the front door wearing a flannel shirt and camouflage baseball cap. He then invited me to wait in the living room where he had conveniently spread his gun collection on a large table. I will never forget that experience. I also can't wait to have a daughter and do the same thing. No need to even mention curfew.

2: Your date laughs the whole time you're together. This is especially good if she's laughing with you and not at the lettuce between your front teeth.

“If your date isn't laughing, then you're not entertaining her or she's not interested. Both are bad signs.”

If your date isn't laughing, then you're not entertaining her or she's not interested. Both are bad signs. If you're unsure whether she's laughing at you or with you, ask her on a second date. If she laughs out loud, then you know the answer.

3: She offers to split the bill with you. Where I'm from, this simply doesn't happen. Ever. Maybe that's because the male paying the bill is customary in my part of the country. Maybe it's the give and take of the dating ritual. Maybe it's just the women I tend to date. Whatever the reasoning, when a woman on a date offers to split the bill, it shows they appreciate that there's no such thing as a free meal. When that happens, hide the two-for-one coupon you planned to use.

4: When you're out on the town with your date, she sees her girlfriends and insists they come over and meet you. This is a very good sign. It means you just passed the "good enough to be seen with in public" test.

5: Your first date is coming to an end, and you go to give her a sweet hug; and instead, she gives you a full-on smooch. Hello, Love! That sign is unmistakable -- unless she's been consuming alcoholic beverages and simply needed to grab you in order to keep her balance. When your date turns a friendly hug into a smooch be warned: Do not say anything! No matter what you say it won't be as romantic as in the movies. Instead, take a deep breath, savor the moment, feel the energy, wish her goodnight, and get out of there fast. You just positioned yourself for date #2! The question now is, when do you call...

Christine Hassler is a life coach, speaker, and author of "20 Something Manifesto." She leads seminars and coaching programs on dealing with "Expectation Hangovers" at colleges and corporations. Find her at www.christinehassler.com.

Jason Ryan Dorsey is the "Gen Y Guy." He has delivered 1,800 keynotes on bridging the generation gap in the workplace at conferences and corporations around the world. Download free chapters from his new book, "My Reality Check Bounced!," at www.jasondorsey.com.


Poster Comment:

"I've never had home made fried chicken, corn on the cob and mashed potatoes with gravy that was this good. If you got any watermelon, I'm fixin to fall in love." ;-) (4 images)

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#1. To: Rotara (#0)

Your date laughs the whole time you're together.

The key to victory...

Lod  posted on  2008-07-04   11:41:50 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: lodwick (#1)

Your date laughs the whole time you're together.

The key to victory...

"It's not the kill
it's the thrillllll of the chase..." - Deep Purple

"The difference between an honorable man and a moral man is that an honorable man regrets a discreditable act even when it has worked and he is in no danger of being caught." ~ H. L. Mencken

Original_Intent  posted on  2008-07-04   11:43:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: lodwick (#1)

Your date laughs the whole time you're together.

The key to victory...

In like Flynn. ;-)

"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams

Rotara  posted on  2008-07-04   11:51:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Original_Intent (#2)

"It's not the kill
it's the thrillllll of the chase..." - Deep Purple

There's still a lot to be said for feasting all night and day long. ~{:^o

"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams

Rotara  posted on  2008-07-04   11:53:47 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: Rotara (#0) (Edited)

That said, don't order the most expensive drink in the house to go with your lobster. Be considerate

Advice: don't let her pick the restaurant, pick a decent but not too fancy one yourself. Otherwise you'll be dragged to the most expensive one in town on every first date you go on. Call me cheap, but a first date isn't worth a $1- 200 restaurant tab.

Rupert_Pupkin  posted on  2008-07-04   11:56:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: Rupert_Pupkin (#5)

Advice: don't let her pick the restaurant, pick a decent but not too fancy one yourself. Otherwise you'll be dragged to the most expensive one in town on every first date you go on. Call me cheap, but a first date isn't worth a $1- 200 restaurant tab.

Good advice!

I generally know all I need to know after a Sunday of church, fishing and a picnic of home made fried chicken (finger foods are an important factor), corn on the cob, cole slaw, mashed potatoes w/gravy and watermelon for dessert.

That's just me, though. ;-)

"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams

Rotara  posted on  2008-07-04   12:02:06 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Rupert_Pupkin, Rotara, O_I, first dates (#5)

Back in the day, I used a very plain-jane, four-door, '56 Plymouth sedan for the first few dates; if things were going 'well,' then I'd roll up in the M/B SL to head out for the evening.

My personal 'is it me, or my ride?' test.

Lod  posted on  2008-07-04   12:18:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: Rupert_Pupkin (#5)

That said, don't order the most expensive drink in the house to go with your lobster. Be considerate

Advice: don't let her pick the restaurant, pick a decent but not too fancy one yourself. Otherwise you'll be dragged to the most expensive one in town on every first date you go on. Call me cheap, but a first date isn't worth a $1- 200 restaurant tab.

And you'll wind up in a "French Restaurant" where the Chef speaks French with a "Joisy" accent.

"The difference between an honorable man and a moral man is that an honorable man regrets a discreditable act even when it has worked and he is in no danger of being caught." ~ H. L. Mencken

Original_Intent  posted on  2008-07-04   12:38:41 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: lodwick (#7)

My personal 'is it me, or my ride?' test.

10 years ago I spent $25,000 on a 350hp aphrodisiac and it didn't get me one damned date.

"I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price." Vir Cotto, Babylon 5

orangedog  posted on  2008-07-04   12:56:10 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: orangedog (#9)

10 years ago I spent $25,000 on a 350hp aphrodisiac and it didn't get me one damned date.

Just damn.

Ten years ago I'd been married for twenty years, so the drama of 'dating' was a thing of the past for me.

Lod  posted on  2008-07-04   13:04:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: lodwick (#10) (Edited)

Ten years ago I'd been married for twenty years, so the drama of 'dating' was a thing of the past for me.

I've been happily married to my second wife for 9 years after 25 years of marriage to the first .... with 15 years of "dating" in between (yes, I was utterly convinced after no. 1 that "happily married" was an oxymoron).

The "good" wife and I recently enjoyed a wonderful couple of days in a resort town after visiting with old friends a few hours away. I picked up a sign in a gift shop in that town which now hangs in my rec room (for giggles).

It has the heading "The Man's Guide to Love and Relationships".

1) Find a woman who makes you laugh.

2) Find a woman who has a job and loves housework.

3) Find a woman who is honest.

4) Find a woman who will wait on you hand and foot.

5) Find a woman who is awesome in the bedroom.

6) Most of all. It is very important that these five women NEVER meet!

Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things. T. S. Eliot

iconoclast  posted on  2008-07-04   13:31:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: iconoclast (#11)

6) Most of all. It is very important that these five women NEVER meet!

lol

The outstanding dating hint of the day! That's great. Thanks.

Lod  posted on  2008-07-04   13:35:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: Rotara (#0)

I just check how my fingers smell in the morning.

She's got stars in her eyes & knots on her knees now
Her crazy grass shift really sways in the breeze now

Tauzero  posted on  2008-07-05   0:43:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: iconoclast (#11)

Hysterical...thanks!

Remember...G-d saved more animals than people on the ark. www.siameserescue.org

who knows what evil  posted on  2008-07-05   8:42:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: who knows what evil (#14)

Hysterical...thanks!

I kiddingly told wifey, "don't be alarmed, Hon, you're a winner on 4 1/2 out of six". :-)

Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things. T. S. Eliot

iconoclast  posted on  2008-07-05   10:08:50 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: iconoclast (#15)

I read it to my wife...she didn't find items #2 and #4 terribly amusing...

Remember...G-d saved more animals than people on the ark. www.siameserescue.org

who knows what evil  posted on  2008-07-05   10:15:50 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#17. To: lodwick (#7)

Back in the day, I used a very plain-jane, four-door, '56 Plymouth sedan for the first few dates; if things were going 'well,' then I'd roll up in the M/B SL to head out for the evening.

My personal 'is it me, or my ride?' test.

Excellent thinking! In my way of seeing things, if they can't hop on the back of a cycle for a spin then it's not going to work anyway. ;-)

"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams

Rotara  posted on  2008-07-05   10:29:59 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#18. To: who knows what evil (#16)

I read it to my wife..

I find that hysterically funny! LOL

"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams

Rotara  posted on  2008-07-05   10:30:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#19. To: who knows what evil (#16)

I read it to my wife...she didn't find items #2 and #4 terribly amusing...

I ask mine which ones she flunked on and she quickly responded 2 & 4.

She works but housework is decidedly not her strong suit.

She'll do #6, but only when I'm deathly ill or faking it. ;-)

Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things. T. S. Eliot

iconoclast  posted on  2008-07-05   12:03:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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