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Title: Enquirer Publishes Photo of Baby with $400 Haircut - Picture Raises Questons, Haircut Experts Say
Source:
Borowitz Report
URL Source: http://www.borowitzreport.com/
Published: Aug 08, 2008
Author: staff
Post Date: 2008-08-10 12:22:52 by mirage
Keywords: None
Views: 123
Comments: 2
Enquirer Publishes Photo of Baby with $400 Haircut Just minutes after former presidential candidate John Edwards admitted having an extramarital affair during the 2008 campaign, The National Enquirer published potentially explosive photos of an infant with a $400 haircut. Even as Mr. Edwards denied fathering a love-child with a former campaign aide, the photos of the expensively coiffured tot raised fresh questions about his honesty. Prominent haircut experts who have studied the Enquirer photos said that the resemblance between the baby's hairdo and that of the former North Carolina senator was striking. "This is such a close match, I think it eliminates the need for a paternity test," said haircut expert Carol Foyler. "This would be a slam-dunk on 'Maury.'" Ms. Foyler said there was only a "one in a million chance" that someone other than Mr. Edwards had fathered the child in the Enquirer photo: "The only other man who's wealthy enough to give his baby a $400 haircut is Donald Trump, and that baby would have a comb-over." For his part, Mr. Edwards attempted to regain the high road, telling reporters, "I still believe there are two Americas, and I have had a sexual relationship in each of them."
Picture Raises Questons, Haircut Experts Say
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#1. To: mirage (#0)
what planet does this fucker live on?
Many believe in either intelligent design or evolution...but I am opting for unintelligent design, where god is a retarded kid who likes setting army men on fire and leaving his toys out in the rain. Gengis Gandhi, Troubled Genius We come from the land of the ice and snow, On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.
Its a joke.
"A leader, for a change." - Jimmy Carter, 1976 campaign slogan. Sound familiar? Here it comes again!
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!
#2. To: gengis gandhi (#1)
what planet does this fucker live on?
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