4um: Palin Unveils 9/11 Firefighter Cousin, Reformed Lesbian Niece, Naturalized Mexican Half Brother

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Title: Palin Unveils 9/11 Firefighter Cousin, Reformed Lesbian Niece, Naturalized Mexican Half Brother
Source: [None]
URL Source: http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/palin_unveils_9_11
Published: Sep 16, 2008
Author: Unknown
Post Date: 2008-09-17 13:25:32 by WTF?
Keywords: None
Views: 219
Comments: 13

Palin Unveils 9/11 Firefighter Cousin, Reformed Lesbian Niece, Naturalized Mexican Half Brother

September 16, 2008

CARBONDALE, PA—Less than two weeks after introducing to the nation her developmentally disabled newborn and her 19-year-old son preparing for military service in Iraq, Republican vice presidential nominee and conservative Christian woman Sarah Palin delivered a speech Monday flanked by three heretofore-unknown relatives, including a naturalized Mexican half brother, a formerly lesbian niece, and a New York City firefighter cousin who saved several lives during the 9/11 World Trade Center attacks. "John McCain and I will take on the Washington establishment and give the government back to the people," said Palin, who several times gave the "thumbs-up" sign to her African-American coal-miner uncle seated in the audience. "We envision a better and brighter future for hardworking, selfless Americans like Ted, Anne, and Guillermo here." Palin has a campaign stop scheduled next week in Texas, where she is expected to introduce her stepsister Linda, a $35 barrel of offshore-drilled crude oil wrapped in an American flag.