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Title: A Frog Goes Into A Bank
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Published: Sep 17, 2008
Author: no idea
Post Date: 2008-09-17 21:47:15 by nikki
Keywords: None
Views: 266
Comments: 25
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $50,000 loan to take a vacation." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $50,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone." 
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#1. To: nikki (#0)
Knee-deep.
Have a banana, Hannah
thanks
ping
http://s5.gladiatus.us/game/c.php?uid=77290
Hahahahaha Very nice, I'll have to remember that one.
#2. To: nikki (#0)
-Schweizerische Schutzenseitunt (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
#3. To: nikki (#0)
#4. To: nikki, *Humor-Weird News* (#0)
#5. To: nikki (#0)
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man (or woman) in everlasting ignorance that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
#6. To: Tauzero (#1)
Sorry, yesterday was a long day!
#7. To: X-15 (#2)
Well there's a conversation starter!
#8. To: Cynicom (#3)
I think I need to find a funnier frog.
thanks
#9. To: wudidiz (#5)
Very nice, I'll have to remember that one. :) I'm glad someone else got a chuckle!
Hahahahaha
#10. To: nikki (#8)
Nope, was fine. However jokes that describe Turtles are especially desired. (hint hint)
I think I need to find a funnier frog.
#11. To: nikki (#0)
Nice. Thanks.
A nation of mullets, ruled by inbred, moronic tyrants.
#12. To: Cynicom (#10)
Okay, Why did the turtle cross the road? * * * * * * * * * To get to the Shell Station. :)
However jokes that describe Turtles are especially desired. (hint hint)
#13. To: lodwick (#11)
YW!
Nice. Thanks.
#14. To: nikki (#12)
Thats a good one. Wait til Turtle sees it, he will be filing charges. hehehehe
#15. To: Cynicom (#14)
LOL! I'd better be careful. I've heard of Ninja Turtles. Thank God I have pitbulls. ;)
Thats a good one. Wait til Turtle sees it, he will be filing charges. hehehehe
#16. To: nikki (#15)
Yeah, but do you have pigs with lipstick? Pretty funny frog ditty.
Thank God I have pitbulls. ;)
#17. To: Foghorn Longhorn (#16)
Yep, but they hate the fishnet nylons. ;) Pretty funny frog ditty. Glad you enjoyed it. Need a little lightness to help tolerate the dark clouds.
Yeah, but do you have pigs with lipstick?
#18. To: nikki (#0)
That's just wrong
Paris / Rihanna 2008
#19. To: WhiteGuy (#18)
Okay, hows this one. You've probably heard it. A customer asks, 'In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?' The clerk looks at him and says, 'Are you Polish?' The guy (clearly offended) says, 'Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? 'Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would you? Would you?' The clerk says, 'Well, no!'' 'If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish' 'Well, I probably wouldn't!' With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, 'Well then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?' The clerk replies, 'Because you're in Home Depot.' That's just wrong
#20. To: nikki, all (#9)
From Memory... Mr. and Mrs. Frank were to have a child and to their surprise it was twins, two boys. They named their sons Sam and Joe. When the babies were only a week old, there was a terrible car accident and Mr. and Mrs. Frank didn't survive. The sons were separated and adopted to good families. They never knew each other. 30 years later, Sam was walking down the street when, to his amazement, he saw a man, his own age, that looked exactly like himself. He said to the man, "Hey, you must be my twin brother!" The other said, "Why yes, I'm Joe, my parents died and I was adopted!" The two long lost twin brothers rejoiced in their reunion and decided to go into a bar to have a drink and celebrate that they had finally found each other after all those years. As it turns out, Sam had become a bit of a problem to society. He had never made much of himself other than a criminal and a troublemaker. On the other hand, Joe had become an upstanding member of the community with a good job and he attended church regularly. Nevertheless, they each got along splendidly and were so happy to finally be together and looked forward to many years of being friends. After a few drinks, it was getting late and each decided they should go home. As they were walking across the street, a cement truck came speeding around the corner and didn't see them walking across the sidewalk and they were hit and killed instantly. Because Joe was such a well-behaved individual and Sam was not, Joe went to Heaven and Sam went to Hell. Many years passed and Joe was enjoying his time in Heaven. He had become well adjusted there as you might imagine and actually had a place in God's band. His instrument that he was given to play was the harp. He played as often as he could and became quite good at it. Time went on and although he was having a lot of fun, he began to wonder about his brother Sam. So he went to the Lord and asked him if it would be okay to go visit Sam in Hell. God said, "Yes, okay, but you'll have to go to the Pearly Gates and ask St. Peter for a day pass." So Joe went, harp in hand, to see St. Peter. There the great gate keeper met him and gave him a day pass, but explained that it was only good until midnight and he would have to be back on the train to Heaven before midnight or it would expire and he would be stuck in Hell for all Eternity. Joe thanked St. Peter and boarded the subway to Hell. When he got off, he was greeted by the demon gatekeeper there and he asked him, "Where could I find my twin brother Sam Frank?" He was told that Sam was running a disco down on the seventh level. So, he happily got on the elevator and went down to the 7th level to see his brother. When he got there, Sam was so overjoyed to finally see his brother again. They sat together at the VIP table at the back of the bar and drank and talked about all they had been through. Sam said, "Oh, I see you have a harp, why don't you play in the band here for a tune or two?" So Joe sat in for a couple of songs and as the evening progressed, he was having such a good time that he forgot to pay attention to his watch and didn't realize it was 5 minutes to 12 o'clock. He said to his brother that he would have to leave immediately or else he would miss the train back to Heaven and never be able to return. So he chugged back his last drink, rushed onto the elevator and raced to the door of the subway train heading to Heaven. He managed to get on the train just as the door was closing. He got off the train and ran up to the Pearly Gates as St. Peter was about to close them. St. Peter said, "So good to see you Joe, but where's your harp?" Joe then realized he had forgotten it in hell and said,
"I left my harp in Sam Frank's disco!"
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man (or woman) in everlasting ignorance that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
#21. To: All (#20)
I don't get paid for this.
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man (or woman) in everlasting ignorance that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
#22. To: wudidiz (#20)
ROFL! I love that stuff! LOL!! :D
"I left my harp in Sam Frank's disco!"
#23. To: wudidiz (#21)
I don't get paid for this.
-Schweizerische Schutzenseitunt (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
#24. To: nikki (#19)
HHAHHHAAAAA
'Because you're in Home Depot.'
Paris / Rihanna 2008
#25. To: WhiteGuy (#24)
:) A Can Of Peaches An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge, he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches." The judge asked her why she had stolen them, and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied, "Six". The judge then said, "I will give you six days in jail." Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge answered, "What is it?" The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."
HHAHHHAAAAA
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