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Title: A Dog's Letter to God
Source:
email
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Published: Sep 18, 2008
Author: ?
Post Date: 2008-09-18 18:26:09 by James Deffenbach
Keywords: None
Views: 236
Comments: 14
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog. 1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. Poster Comment: A friend sent this in email and I thought it was pretty funny.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
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#1. To: James Deffenbach (#0)
I need worming.
A nation of mullets, ruled by inbred, moronic tyrants.
If I am a pug, I will not fart several times just for the effect.
Freeper: I read, but do not understand, write, but make no sense, think, but nothing happens.
13. If I get excited and hump a human's leg, I will avoid doing so to strangers who are packing a gun on them.
I think you diagnosed the problem correctly, Dr. Lodwick. ;^)
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. LOL!
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. We've had poochies all my life: you learn these things.
A nation of mullets, ruled by inbred, moronic tyrants.
13. Brand new neoprene waders are not chew toys.
We have had dogs but the last one we had disappeared a long time ago. Never got another one, just hurt too much to lose him. He was special.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. For the right dog they would be. ;^)
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. Go to the local shelter/rescue location, and one (or more) will speak to you. Enjoy!
A nation of mullets, ruled by inbred, moronic tyrants.
Enjoy! I know that is probably good advice and under different circumstances maybe I would consider it. Not saying they are "bad circumstances" but circumstances which would prevent me from taking on a pet at this point in my life.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. 14. I will stop chewing on my poor owners clothes making the fasteners malfunction. One of the best dogs in my life came to me through a shelter.
Shelter animals know that they've been given a reprieve, and make the most wonderful pets.
A nation of mullets, ruled by inbred, moronic tyrants.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
#2. To: James Deffenbach (#0)
#3. To: James Deffenbach (#0)
"You only have power over people so long as you don't take everything away from them. But when you've robbed a man of everything he's no longer in your power -- he's free again. Alexander Solzhenitsyn
#4. To: lodwick (#1)
Lord Acton
#5. To: Turtle (#2)
If I am a pug, I will not fart several times just for the effect.
Lord Acton
#6. To: James Deffenbach (#4)
#7. To: James Deffenbach (#0)
#8. To: lodwick (#6)
Lord Acton
#9. To: duckhunter (#7)
13. Brand new neoprene waders are not chew toys.
Lord Acton
#10. To: James Deffenbach (#8)
#11. To: lodwick (#10)
Go to the local shelter/rescue location, and one (or more) will speak to you.
Lord Acton
#12. To: James Deffenbach (#0)
"You only have power over people so long as you don't take everything away from them. But when you've robbed a man of everything he's no longer in your power -- he's free again. Alexander Solzhenitsyn
#13. To: lodwick (#10)
Go to the local shelter/rescue location, and one (or more) will speak to you.
#14. To: angle. all (#13)
One of the best dogs in my life came to me through a shelter.
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