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Editorial
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Title: The Little Pigs in the Village of the Wrecked Economy.
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Nov 13, 2008
Author: Elliott Jackalope
Post Date: 2008-11-13 21:08:56 by Elliott Jackalope
Keywords: Pigs, Economy, Masochists
Views: 614
Comments: 34

After multiple discussions with those who seem to intentionally choose to be abusive, ignorant and incapable of understanding what I'm trying to say, I've written a little bit of prose in the timeless style of Theodore Geisel, aka "Dr. Suess". It uses anapestic tetrameter, and I really did my best to avoid using big words that frighten and confuse so many of the "special" people on this forum. I did, however, use one big word, "Theocracy", which is defined in the Mirriam-Webster dictionary as being "1 : government of a state by immediate divine guidance or by officials who are regarded as divinely guided 2 : a state governed by a theocracy". Just wanted to be sure to define that word for the less fortunate readers out there who might be frightened and confused by a four-syllable word that's not commonly used on Fox news.

The Little Pigs in the Village of the Wrecked Economy.
By E. J. Suess.

Was a time when the piggies were sad and dismayed
For the plans they had used had just wrecked what they made.
All the work they had done had just fallen to dust,
so they fought and they argued about what went bust.

Said the pious fat pig with the book edged in gold
"We must do as the one true belief has done told!
We must do as the book bound in leather has said,
if we don't then we're doomed, as we've all been misled!"

Said the greed swollen sow with the huge hoard of food
"We must do as the free market says that we should!
We must do as we must for our own selfish need
and the rest will sort out all for the best indeed!"

Said the Marxist comrade with the red book in hand
"We must do what's been done in the Soviet lands!
We must give all the power we have to the state
if we do, only then will we have what is great!"

So they fought and they fussed and much woe did they find
because anger and hate had distorted their minds,
and they battled and slandered and raised a big stink
for they now loved to hate more than they cared to think!

Then one lone piggie stood, barely daring to speak
"I must say to you now that you all are quite bleak,
for you each have decided to do what's been done
and each path that you like has already been run!"

"You who follow the path of the ancient gold book
are so blind you can't see, you will not even look
at the multiple lessons learned from history
of the horrors inflicted by theocracy"

"You who squeal for the 'virtue' of self interest
are the most loud and noxious as you claim what's best
but the moment you stumble you're all first to shout
for the rest of us all to come bail your ass out!"

"As for you, Marxist fool, you're as bad as the rest,
for your way has been tried, and it failed every test!
You oppress and cajole as you plunder and loot,
you just want to be boss with us under your boot!"

Then the lone piggie stood tall while raising his voice
"But the good news is that there is still one more choice!
There's a way that's been used by the far Northern tribes,
It's been fifty plus years and their people do thrive!"

"There's a balance they found between money and need
and a damper they've put on the forces of greed.
They have rich wealthy pigs, tho' they're not rich as kings,
but all the other pigs all have the basic things."

"They have doctors to treat all who come with their ills
and no-one ever goes broke from paying for pills.
They have freedom of speech and have freedom of choice,
and their government listens to the people's voice!"

"They have business to make things that sell overseas
they have health care and college and both jobs AND trees!
They have freedom to worship without fear of jail
And rewards for success yet still help if you fail."

All the other pigs stood up and got in his face,
"You're a Commie!" "A dreamer!" "A Godless disgrace!"
"How dare you say we are not the best in all ways?"
"You're a Nut!" "A Loser!" "Quick, let's put him away!"

So the lone piggie sat down and shut up and thought
and pondered the turmoil that his words had just brought.
And he sat and considered and mused and got mad,
before finally concluding they liked being sad!

It came clear as a bell, it was easy to see
there was nothing they enjoyed more than misery!
Nothing made them angry like one who dared to say
they could choose not to fail and there were better ways!

So the lone piggy turned and went back to his home
and he chose then and there to spend his life alone.
He'd grown tired of fighting with those who love pain,
who kept doing what won't work and just acting lame.

And the moral of the story is:
Don't argue with pigs. It wastes your time and annoys the pigs.

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 1.

#1. To: Elliott Jackalope (#0) (Edited)

Awesome. Instant classic, to be so corny.

"There's a way that's been used by the far Northern tribes,
It's been fifty plus years and their people do thrive!"

That method only works if there's homogeny in the population. That's why the far Northern tribes have been targeted for assimilation. There's only "allowed" to be one unassimilable group in Euro-America. They don't want to lose their monopoly.

Again, well done. I have it saved to my HD.

bluegrass  posted on  2008-11-13   21:15:24 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

        There are no replies to Comment # 1.

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