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Title: One In 4 Mammals In Jeopardy
Source: The Onion
URL Source: [None]
Published: Nov 14, 2008
Author: Unknown
Post Date: 2008-11-14 00:04:40 by WTF?
Keywords: None
Views: 395
Comments: 13

One In 4 Mammals In Jeopardy

A new study shows that almost 25 percent of mammal species are in danger of going extinct. What do you think?

Asian Man

Steven Frank,
Shoe Repairer
"Good riddance. Giving birth to live young is just so disgusting."

Old Man

Ryan Krutsch,

Roofer
"If the worst happens, you can always get some day laborers to fill their ecological niche."

Old Woman

Lora Mierendorf,
Weights and Measures Inspector
"Don't worry. I've been raising some dogs and cats in captivity, just in case."

(3 images)

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#1. To: WTF? (#0) (Edited)

I heard that the Rotaras are about to go extinct in North America but they still thrive in the South Pacific and Sri Lanka where the natural habitat, the outhouse holes in the ground continue to be found in large numbers.

Anyone who wishes to preserve the Rotaras must dig a hole in their backyard and, once a Rotara settles in, keep dumping sh_t on it. That makes the Rotara happy and ensures its being well-fed.

FAQ

Q: How does one detect a Rotara?
A: Oh, the SMELL of it! And the brown nose.

Q: What do I do if a Rotara settles in my house?
A: Don't just clean it. Oxy-clean it.

Q: Can Rotaras reproduce?
A: Yes. All Rotaras are bi-sexual. Whenever in heat, which is most of the time, they impregnate themselves. The science is not complete on this matter but, apparently, the right paw plays a significant role. A few weeks later, they drop their litter into the s_ithole, apparently through their anal orifice.

Q: Do Rotaras have the ability to communicate?
A: Yes, if the s_it and farts that constantly comes out through their mouths and all other orifices can be called 'communication'.

Q: How many Rotaras can s_it on a pinhead?
A: All of them. They are constantly s_itting on their own (pin)heads. That's how they keep their brains moist and operating.

Q: What's a Rotara by another name?
A: Rotaras are also known as James Deffenbachs, X-15's, RickyJ's and so on... their name is Legion.

Antiparty - find out why, think about 'how'

a vast rightwing conspirator  posted on  2008-11-14   6:10:37 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: All (#1)

Anyone seen Rotaras around? I believe I spotted a couple at this site.

Antiparty - find out why, think about 'how'

a vast rightwing conspirator  posted on  2008-11-14   9:00:06 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: James Deffenbach, X-15, RickyJ, Rotara (#1)

Enthusiastic ping :))))))))

Sadly, you're all on my s_it list so, whatever you may have to say on your defense... I'll never know and it won't matter anyway.

Antiparty - find out why, think about 'how'

a vast rightwing conspirator  posted on  2008-11-14   9:21:55 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: a vast rightwing conspirator, christine (#1)

Another disgusting thread.


I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs. —Thomas Jefferson, 1802

farmfriend  posted on  2008-11-14   10:13:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: a vast rightwing conspirator (#3) (Edited)

Sadly, you're all on my s_it list so, whatever you may have to say on your defense... I'll never know and it won't matter anyway.

You're an ass and I think given the opportunity you'd plunge the cigar you suck on in Obama's asshole while throat wrestling with his dick. True story.

“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941

X-15  posted on  2008-11-14   10:33:26 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: farmfriend (#4)

Yes, but highly accurate and very informative in a scientific way.

Antiparty - find out why, think about 'how'

a vast rightwing conspirator  posted on  2008-11-14   10:56:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: a vast rightwing conspirator (#6)

Yes, but highly accurate and very informative in a scientific way.

No more than theirs was against you. Petty and very High School.


I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs. —Thomas Jefferson, 1802

farmfriend  posted on  2008-11-14   12:42:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: farmfriend (#7) (Edited)

You spotted Rotaras? Here? This is most disturbing.

I saw SKUNKS covering their noses and running in terror at even the hint of a Rotara presence.

Antiparty - find out why, think about 'how'

a vast rightwing conspirator  posted on  2008-11-14   13:27:38 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: a vast rightwing conspirator (#3)

Sadly, you're all on my s_it list so, whatever you may have to say on your defense... I'll never know and it won't matter anyway.

I would engage you in a battle of wits, but it is against my moral code to attack the unarmed.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2008-11-15   19:43:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: X-15 (#5)

LOL!!!

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2008-11-15   19:44:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: farmfriend (#7)

No more than theirs was against you. Petty and very High School.

I don't think I understand your post. Where have I posted any such crap about anyone who posts on here? Do you have a link? Not saying I haven't said some things that some might consider "less than kind" but I don't recall saying anything like he did.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2008-11-15   19:48:06 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: James Deffenbach (#11)

I don't think I understand your post. Where have I posted any such crap about anyone who posts on here?

My post was not made to you. Never said you did anything my friend. I thought Rotara's thread about the Obamaphiles was bad and this one is just as bad. I hit both sides for bad behavior.


I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs. —Thomas Jefferson, 1802

farmfriend  posted on  2008-11-15   21:16:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: farmfriend (#12)

My post was not made to you. Never said you did anything my friend.

Ok, thanks.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2008-11-15   21:40:47 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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