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Title: One In 4 Mammals In Jeopardy
Source: The Onion
URL Source: [None]
Published: Nov 14, 2008
Author: Unknown
Post Date: 2008-11-14 00:04:40 by WTF?
Keywords: None
Views: 358
Comments: 13

One In 4 Mammals In Jeopardy

A new study shows that almost 25 percent of mammal species are in danger of going extinct. What do you think?

Asian Man

Steven Frank,
Shoe Repairer
"Good riddance. Giving birth to live young is just so disgusting."

Old Man

Ryan Krutsch,

Roofer
"If the worst happens, you can always get some day laborers to fill their ecological niche."

Old Woman

Lora Mierendorf,
Weights and Measures Inspector
"Don't worry. I've been raising some dogs and cats in captivity, just in case."

(3 images)

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 9.

#1. To: WTF? (#0) (Edited)

I heard that the Rotaras are about to go extinct in North America but they still thrive in the South Pacific and Sri Lanka where the natural habitat, the outhouse holes in the ground continue to be found in large numbers.

Anyone who wishes to preserve the Rotaras must dig a hole in their backyard and, once a Rotara settles in, keep dumping sh_t on it. That makes the Rotara happy and ensures its being well-fed.

FAQ

Q: How does one detect a Rotara?
A: Oh, the SMELL of it! And the brown nose.

Q: What do I do if a Rotara settles in my house?
A: Don't just clean it. Oxy-clean it.

Q: Can Rotaras reproduce?
A: Yes. All Rotaras are bi-sexual. Whenever in heat, which is most of the time, they impregnate themselves. The science is not complete on this matter but, apparently, the right paw plays a significant role. A few weeks later, they drop their litter into the s_ithole, apparently through their anal orifice.

Q: Do Rotaras have the ability to communicate?
A: Yes, if the s_it and farts that constantly comes out through their mouths and all other orifices can be called 'communication'.

Q: How many Rotaras can s_it on a pinhead?
A: All of them. They are constantly s_itting on their own (pin)heads. That's how they keep their brains moist and operating.

Q: What's a Rotara by another name?
A: Rotaras are also known as James Deffenbachs, X-15's, RickyJ's and so on... their name is Legion.

a vast rightwing conspirator  posted on  2008-11-14   6:10:37 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: James Deffenbach, X-15, RickyJ, Rotara (#1)

Enthusiastic ping :))))))))

Sadly, you're all on my s_it list so, whatever you may have to say on your defense... I'll never know and it won't matter anyway.

a vast rightwing conspirator  posted on  2008-11-14   9:21:55 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: a vast rightwing conspirator (#3)

Sadly, you're all on my s_it list so, whatever you may have to say on your defense... I'll never know and it won't matter anyway.

I would engage you in a battle of wits, but it is against my moral code to attack the unarmed.

James Deffenbach  posted on  2008-11-15   19:43:45 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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