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Title: God Anoints Obama President
Source:
lonestaricon
URL Source: http://www.lonestaricon.com/absolutenm/anmviewer.asp?a=3439&z=303
Published: Nov 14, 2008
Author: Nathan Diebenow
Post Date: 2008-11-14 00:25:07 by Jhoffa_
Keywords: None
Views: 124
Comments: 9
God Anoints Obama President GOP Call 'Heavenly Father' Baby-Eating Commie Terrorist LEWISVILLE, Texas — Something funny happened to the United States of America last Tuesday night. No riots took place. No martial law was called. No troops were deployed. No citizens disappeared. No voters were caged. No, instead, around 130 million peace-loving citizens cast their ballots in the 2008 general election, and in doing so, the nation’s first-ever bi-racial president was elected. You may have heard of him. His name is Barack Obama. The junior senator from Illinois ended his historic 21-month campaign for the White House by collecting 63 million votes, eight million more than his chief political rival, Sen. John McCain. Obama became the 44th president-elect in the midst of a vastly unpopular incumbent Republican president, a skatterbrained campaign by his Republican opponent, a national housing crisis, two failed foreign military occupations, and a mulititude of election season superstitions that media pundits refer to as "presidential predictors." Here’s a quick review of the predictors that The Lone Star Iconoclast found most interesting. One: The popular magazine Weekly Reader found in a national survey that U.S. students aged five to 18 prefered Obama over McCain as president by a double-digit margain (54.7 percent to 42.9 percent). This survey has correctly predicted the outcome in 13 of the last 14 presidential elections. Two: The Pittsburg Steelers defeated Washington Redskins on Monday Night Football. Had the Redskins won on their last home game before the election, the incumbent party would supposedly remain in power. This prediction has been wrong only once in the last 17 presidential elections. Three: The ancient Chinese system of divination, the I Ching*, when cast with coins told The Iconoclast that the effect of an Obama presidency would be "Encouraging" (hexagram 58) changing to "Prospering" (11), whereas a McCain presidency would bring "Conflict" (6) with no changing lines. Yet Obama’s campaign appeared to have made its own luck with regard to the bellweather state of Missouri. The Show-Me State had failed at predicting the winning U.S. president only once in 100 years. This year’s race was close, though. Six-thousand votes separated two candidates. But while Missouri went for McCain, Obama still came out ahead in the national contest. From the sounds of it, some Missourians had enough of their state’s prediction powers anyway. "Well, whatever. There wasn’t a lot of glory in being the bellwether, except that reporters and news crews from places like Washington, London, and Germany came to interview us in election season," said Barb Shelley, a Kansas City Star columnist. Another bellweather state, Ohio, went overwhelmingly for Obama by double digits, continuing its own unbroken streak of picking presidents — not that it mattered since God picked Obama to win the second after He created evolution.... Obama’s campaign strategy paid off as long-time Republican stronghold Indiana turned blue as well as North Carolina and Virginia. Not to be outdone, the baby Jesus also had a hand in the election, pimp-slapping Karl Rove, President Bush’s former deputy chief of staff and political strategist. Rove predicted Obama would win going away with 338 electoral votes. In reality, Obama exceeded 349 projected with two states still undeclared Wednesday afternoon. To win the election, the candidate needed 270 electoral votes. By any estimation, the scene at Razzo’s in Lewisville, Texas, was electric all through election night. The South Denton County Democratic Club there clapped and hollered each time a state went into the blue corner. Of course, when Texas went for McCain, a smattering of boos haunted the party. "I would love it if MSNBC would eat their words because Rachel (Maddow) would apologize so gracefully," said one fiesty Democrat. But once California, Oregon, and Washington state were declared for Obama at 10 p.m. CST, no apology was necessary; the grassroots Texas Democrats went wild. "They didn’t steal it!" yelled one man, referring to the Republicans as he stood beside himself with his family in tow. "The people finally won!" said another Democrat, as James Brown’s "Living In America" blasted from her portable MP3 player speakers. "O-bam-a! O-bam-a! O-bam-a!" chanted the group of 200-plus as they shared hugs, kisses, tears, and bottles of champange. The backroom at the restaurant erupted as if Dan Rather had given birth to the Jonas Brothers — on Mars. Actually, MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann went so far as to say that for him experiencing the first black man win the presidency of the United States was like watching the first manned moon landing. "You’ve seen those video tapes of Walter Cronkite the night that the man landed on the moon for the first time — when Neil Armstrong stepped out and he could just get out monosyllables," he said. "Politically, that’s what this is. This is man on the moon... in terms of how we inter-relate...." Spontaneous jubilation also reportedly spilled across America’s urban centers from Austin, Texas, to New York City to elsewhere. Nate Silver, head pollster with , said that solidarity ruled the streets of the nation’s capital, Washington, D.C., until 3 a.m. "[S]trangers black, white, and otherwise were hooting and hollering and giving one another thumbs-ups and high-fives as they passed each other on the street," he wrote. "There was no sense of anger, or rivalry, no sense that the enemy had been vanquished. There was, rather, a tremendous sense of empowerment in the notion that someone more like them was going to take up residence down the street: someone younger, someone blacker, someone poorer, someone who knew that the majesty of America exists not just in the tranquility of its small towns but also in the bustle of its cities." The White House was also the scene of a victory party in which celebrants sang Steam’s "Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye" . In a classy concession speech, Sen. McCain told his supporters gathered at the ritzy Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix, Ariz. that he admired Sen. Obama’s ability to inspire hope in millions of Americans to participate in this election. "A century ago, President Theodore Roosevelt’s invitation of Booker T. Washington to dine at the White House was taken as an outrage in many quarters," McCain said. "America today is a world away from the cruel and frightful bigotry of that time. There is no better evidence of this than the election of an African-American to the presidency of the United States." An hour later, Obama stood before 200,000 supporters at Grant Park in Chicago, Ill. to deliver a victory speech that sought to unite the country. "As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection," he said. "And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too." Obama’s win swept the globe. Ready for change after eight years of the Bush administration, foreign nationals poured into their respective capitol centers as if celebrating on New Year’s Eve. Still, there was a wait-and-see attitude, especially among those in the Middle East. William J. Kole, Vienna bureau of The Associated Press, on the bus on his way to work Wednesday morning was kissed by a 20-something woman. "Without a word, she turned, pecked me on the cheek and stepped off at the next stop," he wrote. "Nothing was said, but the message was clear: Today, we are all Americans." Back stateside, even as Obama started his transition to the White House, right-wing radio personalities gave no quarter. Aside from rehashing old campaign talking-points, the conservative pundits again lied, saying that Obama didn’t win by a landslide and therefore had no mandate to push his programs, even though Bush won with less popular and electoral votes in 2000 and 2004 than Obama this season. What’s the future look like for Sarah Palin now that over 60 percent of the electorate is now associated with whom she associated with Islamic baby-eating Commie terrorists? Consult the I Ching. In the meantime, Obama will be sworn in as the 44th president on January 20, 2009. *The I Ching appears to lean for Obama by its very nature because the system is also referred to as the "Book of Changes."
Poster Comment: Drudge has this up for its sheer ridiculousness, I'm sure.. You have got to see the pictures at the source. It's a riot. These people are going to be SO LET DOWN. They have built this Obama personality cult up to the point that no mere mortal could ever meet the expectations they are projecting onto this guy. They're expecting a black Bill Clinton x 10. Won't they be surprised to learn they've elected a Karl Marx - Al Gore hybrid, instead?
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#1. To: All (#0)
Correction: It wasn't Drudge, I clicked the wrong tab.. It was Raw Story.
~ Your failure to be informed, does not make me a wacko.
When I saw the "Lewisville" byline I just knew I was going to read about some sorry white trash. And I was right.
LMAO
Law Enforcement Against Prohibition "Corporation: An entity created for the legal protection of its human parasites, whose sole purpose is profit and self-perpetuation." © IndieTx You gotta see the pictures.. It's hysterical. You can almost hear them singing: "Free at last.. we're FREE AT LAST!"
~ Your failure to be informed, does not make me a wacko.
Oh jeez. Yep, it's them. Lewisville is......well, it's Lewisville. The democrats from up there are pure North Texas trash.
This guys eyes have got to be really brown. What bullarky he writes..... Someone blacker? ROTFLMAO==the guy is half white! Hello! Poorer? ROTFMAO==yeah, the poor have net worths in the millions! Tranquility in small towns? Now the dipwads done it! Tranquility my arse--IIRC, the big O doesn't think much of small towners--other than they're Bible freaks and gun nuts! Don't sound 'tranquil' to me! And ya have to laugh out loud at the 'bustle of its cities'--where crime is at its worst--this is a part of America's majesty? Puleeze mr. alleged journalist..........sober up before you write!
Nut cases. I am sure men in white coats are searching high and low for these deluded folks. They must be in serious need of powerful meds and they need to get back on them before they snap, climb a tower and start shooting innocent people.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. The economy should put a damper on Mr. Obama's plans for at least two years if not longer. Bush may well be hailed a genius in some corners for guaranteeing that the President who followed him governed with hands tied.
"A leader, for a change." - Jimmy Carter, 1976 campaign slogan. Sound familiar? Here it comes again!
#2. To: Jhoffa_ (#0)
By any estimation, the scene at Razzo’s in Lewisville, Texas, was electric all through election night. The South Denton County Democratic Club there clapped and hollered each time a state went into the blue corner. Of course, when Texas went for McCain, a smattering of boos haunted the party.
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
#3. To: Jhoffa_ (#0)
someone more like them
"There is no 'legitimate' Corporation by virtue of its very legal definition and purpose."
-- IndieTx
#4. To: X-15 (#2)
#5. To: Jhoffa_ (#4)
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
#6. To: Jhoffa_ (#0)
There was, rather, a tremendous sense of empowerment in the notion that someone more like them was going to take up residence down the street: someone younger, someone blacker, someone poorer, someone who knew that the majesty of America exists not just in the tranquility of its small towns but also in the bustle of its cities."
#7. To: Jhoffa_ (#0)
"O-bam-a! O-bam-a! O-bam-a!" chanted the group of 200-plus as they shared hugs, kisses, tears, and bottles of champange.
Lord Acton
#8. To: Jhoffa_ (#0)
These people are going to be SO LET DOWN.
#9. To: mirage, Jhoffa_ (#8)
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