[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help] 

Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

They've F**king Lost It

After 40 years and almost $5T invested in alternative energy

RFK Jr. Drops Stunning New Vaccine Announcement

Trump Calls India & Russia "Dead Economies" After Tariff Standoff

This Plant Repels Mosquitoes and Boosts Your Immune System

Illegal Immigrant Shoplifting Sisters Can't Believe They're Getting Deported!!!

Holly Was Knocked Out By A Black Mob, And Cincinnati's Leftist Officials Blamed Her

These FBI lies are all one HUGE distraction from what's coming

Ukraine is OFFICIALLY F*cked

10 Examples That Show That Our Society Is Going Completely Insane

New Russiagate release: Russia held damaging info on Hillary

Ofcom threatens American company ‘Rumble’ with censorship

Colorectal Cancer Rising Among People Under 50: American Medical Association

There'll Always Be An England... But Will It Be Free?

HOLY SH*T…😂😂😂

82% of Western Expats in Thailand Lose EVERYTHING – Here’s Why

Scientists discovered an Ominous sign that the Supervolcano is building up to an eruption !

Cash Jordan: 13 supermarkets closing in Milwaukee

10 Examples That Show That Our Society Is Going Completely Insane

Tsunami Alerts Triggered, Japan Issues Evacuation Warning After 8.7 Earthquake Hits In Russian Waters

Elon Musk To Cincinnati Police Chief: Clarify "Missing Context" Or Resign

Israel & the US Just Exposed China’s Military SCAM

Commie Corruption in China led to floods in Beijing

Man Needs Penis Amputated After Botched Botox Procedure

Interesting story (EPA)

The media is claiming an "Indiana Man" was arrested for child abuse

Quercetin and Yogurt with active cultures fight cancer

Illiterate Arab Terrorist Published a Front Page Editorial in NY Times

"These are the people that were on Epstein Island..."(Pritzker, Gates, Colbert, Oprah))

Inside The World Of Billionaire Islands


4play
See other 4play Articles

Title: How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
Source: email
URL Source: [None]
Published: Nov 17, 2008
Author: ?
Post Date: 2008-11-17 12:19:02 by James Deffenbach
Keywords: None
Views: 229
Comments: 14

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

#1. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

I have always heard that one needed to be insane first, to be sane..

Refinersfire  posted on  2008-11-17   12:35:32 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Refinersfire (#1)

I have always heard that one needed to be insane first, to be sane..

It probably helps.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2008-11-17   12:38:21 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

LOL

I hope my old neurons are clacking at a high enough level to use some of these today!

BULLETIN! The election is over. We're up to our armpits in Bushshit. Howsbout we declare a moratorium on partisan sniping and address the crises that America faces?

iconoclast  posted on  2008-11-17   12:40:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: iconoclast (#3)

I really liked that one where you're supposed to ask whoever is telling you to do something, "Do you want fries with that?" That one amuses me.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2008-11-17   12:44:09 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: James Deffenbach (#0) (Edited)

Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go

Oh, I would love to see their faces. At least for a few seconds, they would regret all the undone tasks!

Lilith  posted on  2008-11-17   15:41:41 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: Lilith (#5)

Yes, I imagine the looks on their faces would be priceless.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2008-11-17   17:26:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

My older siblings were mean to me. At supper time they would hide my plate and tell me it was time for me to go home.

Cynicom  posted on  2008-11-17   17:30:02 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

When I'm at a stoplight and people look at me, I put my finger up my nose.

Turtle's secret Indian name is Two Stuck Dogs.

Turtle  posted on  2008-11-17   17:31:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Cynicom (#7)

My older siblings were mean to me. At supper time they would hide my plate and tell me it was time for me to go home.

I hide kids's plates, too. Golly, it's fun!

Turtle's secret Indian name is Two Stuck Dogs.

Turtle  posted on  2008-11-17   17:32:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: Turtle (#9)

I hide kids's plates, too. Golly, it's fun!

I was the runt of the litter, got whacked by everyone bigger than me.

I found out the hard way it is best to be the "whacker", not the "whackee".

Cynicom  posted on  2008-11-17   17:36:41 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: Cynicom (#10)

I was the runt of the litter, got whacked by everyone bigger than me.

I tormented my sister, so she whacked me over the head with an iron skillet, and once when I was sleeping on the floor, she put on her outdoor rollerskates and came in my room and starting kicking me.

Ah, those were the days!

Turtle's secret Indian name is Two Stuck Dogs.

Turtle  posted on  2008-11-17   17:38:50 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: Cynicom (#7)

My older siblings were mean to me. At supper time they would hide my plate and tell me it was time for me to go home.

LOL! Good one.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2008-11-17   17:47:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: Turtle (#8)

When I'm at a stoplight and people look at me, I put my finger up my nose.

You know you iz spose to concrete discrete 'bout(?) hide 'dat.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2008-11-17   17:52:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: James Deffenbach (#13)

When I'm at a stoplight and people look at me, I put my finger up my nose. You know you iz spose to concrete discrete 'bout(?) hide 'dat.

Once at a stoplight I was scratching my nose when a black woman with gold teeth in the car next to me honked, and when I looked at her, she mimed flicking a booger off her finger.

I thought, are you so dumb you think I had my finger up my nose to the second joint?

After that, whenever someone looks at me, I put my finger up my nose.

Turtle's secret Indian name is Two Stuck Dogs.

Turtle  posted on  2008-11-17   17:55:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest


[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help]