4um: CASH For GOLD! (ARF!)

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Title: CASH For GOLD! (ARF!)
Source: Gold Kit Surprise
URL Source: http://www.cockeyed.com/citizen/goldkit/gold_kit.shtml
Published: Jan 30, 2009
Author: Citizen
Post Date: 2009-01-30 00:20:36 by Axenolith
Ping List: *Humor-Weird News* Subscribe to *Humor-Weird News*
Keywords: Gold, Funny, As, Hell
Views: 118
Comments: 4

This is a riot... Subscribe to *Humor-Weird News*
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#1. To: Axenolith (#0)
Unfortunately, real gold is very rare, and hella expensive. Even after checking the whole recycling bin and both garbage cans, I found that I had absolutely no gold scraps in the house.
I grabbed some doo-dads out of the junk drawer and some gold spray-paint out of the garage.
Soon I had a gold bottle cap, a gold stem from a bunch of grapes, a gold pop-top, a gold zip-tie, a gold 'S' hook, a gold nut and the elusive gold nickel.
In all, a nice sack of treasure! ...............................
But there, after all that buildup, at the bottom of the letter, was my payment!
A real check for $1.01!
Incredible! They really do pay cash for gold, and not just real gold... any gold at all!
Next time you see the ad, give them a call and get the gold kit. Isn't there something gold you can send them?

ROFLMAO!!!!!
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"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?”
“The best and first guarantor of our neutrality and our independent existence is the defensive will of the people…and the proverbial marksmanship of the Swiss shooter. Each soldier a good marksman! Each shot a hit!”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
X-15 posted on 2009-01-30 0:39:01 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#2. To: Axenolith (#0)
surprising punchline !

christine posted on 2009-01-30 0:45:24 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#3. To: christine, X-15 (#2)
Unfortunately, real gold is very rare, and hella expensive. Even after checking the whole recycling bin and both garbage cans, I found that I had absolutely no gold scraps in the house.

That part was classic. If there's some type of periodic web award given to obscure people who crank out hilarious material with a subtle bite this guy definitely gets one.
And then, now that I think about it, the people working at that place probably ARFed it up and someone HAD to have said "We've got to follow through with this"...
Bring on the Depression. Bring it the F*** ON! If digging ditches and eating beans for a few years is what it takes for me to see some worthless sacks of crap bankers and politicians living in sack cloth and being spat upon by my fellow Americans well... where's my shovel?!?!
Axenolith posted on 2009-01-30 3:15:30 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#4. To: Axenolith (#0)
A $4 or $5 can of spray paint and some junk in exchange for a check for $1.01?
Holy crap! That's about a 10 times better return than my IRA did since 1999.
Wish I would've thought of that.
Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
Esso posted on 2009-01-30 6:43:43 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
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