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Title: The Great and Wonderful Turtle Fixes Pugs and Gurls
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Feb 18, 2009
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2009-02-18 07:40:04 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 1050
Comments: 37

Since my first pug went to Pug Heave, I got Mickey, an abused, blind in one eye, seven year old rescue pug.

His ribs were showing, his tail hung down, and he would not play.

After a month, his ribs are no longer showing, his tail is curled, and he licks Turtle and now plays.

Turtle fixe him but good. But them, Turtle is amazing.

Turtle has also tamed several shews, as Shakespeare knew so well.

Turtle his two Major Organs, his favorite one, and his Brain. His Minor Ones exists to support the Major Ones.

Turtle has noticed most women just need a prper flogging with the appropriate Organ, and the shrewishness disappears.

Turtle is amazing!

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#1. To: James Deffenbach, Cynicom, tom007 (#0)

Turtle can still feel your envy, but still laffs.

No place is better than Turtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-02-18   7:40:51 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: farmfriend (#0)

Your Dirty Little Mind might find this funny.

No place is better than Turtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-02-18   7:41:27 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Turtle, James deffenbach, tom007 (#0)

Turtle better shape up on his typing or we may run him off the forum.

In fact James, tom and I will probably get together a posse from the local saloon and show up at your hidey hole. The boys in the Long Branch are always available for a dustup with an errant turtle.

Cynicom  posted on  2009-02-18   7:44:23 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Cynicom (#3)

Turtle better shape up on his typing or we may run him off the forum.

Turtle has not had his morning coffee since he is tired of pounding the beans with a hammer, and Obama will not send me a $20 coffee grinder, the selfish little jerk.

Turtle can take all three of you with one paw tied behind his shell. He'll use the other to slap all three of you even sillier than you already are.

No place is better than Turtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-02-18   7:49:51 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: Turtle, tom007, James Deffenbach (#4)

and Obama will not send me a $20 coffee grinder, the selfish little jerk.

I am encouraging all my friends with puters to email Obongo asking for a handout. hehehehehehehe

Ha...We already have a plan.

While I, being the oldest, distract you from the front, James will be using a drill on your puny shell to vent those horrible vapors and Tom will use an air hammer on your tail, where your brain resides. hehehehehehehe

Cynicom  posted on  2009-02-18   8:03:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: Cynicom, James Deffenbach, tom007 (#5)

While I, being the oldest, distract you from the front, James will be using a drill on your puny shell to vent those horrible vapors and Tom will use an air hammer on your tail, where your brain resides. hehehehehehehe

You forget Turtle is highly evolved and not a normal Turtle. He is closer to Hulk and is invincible to puny humans like you.

No place is better than Turtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-02-18   8:22:02 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Turtle (#0)

Turtle his two Major Organs, his favorite one, and his Brain.

Turtle's Brain dangles where his two Major Organs should be.

Join 2x4 Tuesdays & protect your RKBA.
www.righttokeepandbeararms.com

randge  posted on  2009-02-18   8:28:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: randge, Turtle (#7)

Turtle's Brain dangles where his two Major Organs should be.

Good heavens.......

Cynicom  posted on  2009-02-18   8:31:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: randge (#7)

Turtle's Brain dangles where his two Major Organs should be.

One might suspect that those "organs" might be intertwined, interlocked,interknit,interlinked, and hopefully internecine. hehehehehehehehe

Cynicom  posted on  2009-02-18   8:35:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: Cynicom (#9)

Indeed. It's one of the great physiological puzzles of modern zoology.

Join 2x4 Tuesdays & protect your RKBA.
www.righttokeepandbeararms.com

randge  posted on  2009-02-18   8:41:05 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: randge, turtle (#10)

It's one of the great physiological puzzles of modern zoology.

Are you accusing Turtle of being a ...Zooist...???

Horrible. Lets see him deny it.

Cynicom  posted on  2009-02-18   8:46:22 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: Turtle (#0)

Turtle fixe him but good.

That you, TLBSHOW? LOL! I don't know if you know who I am talking about but one guy who posted under that name was always putting BUT GOOD on the end of his sentences. And your post reminded me of him.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-02-18   10:07:04 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: Cynicom (#3)

In fact James, tom and I will probably get together a posse from the local saloon and show up at your hidey hole. The boys in the Long Branch are always available for a dustup with an errant turtle.

Yep, just let me know when you and the boys are ready to ride and we will fix that galoot. YEEHAW!!!

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-02-18   10:08:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: Cynicom (#5)

While I, being the oldest, distract you from the front, James will be using a drill on your puny shell to vent those horrible vapors and Tom will use an air hammer on your tail, where your brain resides.

LOL!!! Good one. You do realize that I will have to have a gas mask if I am going to be venting fumes like that, don't you?

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-02-18   10:09:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: Turtle, Cynicom, tom007 (#6)

You forget Turtle is highly evolved and not a normal Turtle.

You forget Turtle is not normal.

There. Fixed it for you. You might be closer to normal if you wouldn't forget to take your meds. ahaha.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-02-18   10:12:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: James Deffenbach (#14)

You do realize that I will have to have a gas mask if I am going to be venting fumes like that, don't you?

Good heavens...

I totally overlooked that aspect of this operation.

Perhaps we will have to advise the local hazmat authorities.

There is NO law that says we cannot pound on Turtles, we just cant eradicate 'em.

Cynicom  posted on  2009-02-18   10:21:37 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#17. To: Cynicom (#16)

Good heavens...

I totally overlooked that aspect of this operation.

Perhaps we will have to advise the local hazmat authorities.

Yes, I think they would want to be informed and it would be our duty to do that if we were venting hazardous fumes in or around any place people could be overcome and keel over.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-02-18   10:28:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#18. To: Turtle (#2)

When can I expect my flogging?


Meet the new boss, same as the old boss — The Who

farmfriend  posted on  2009-02-18   14:54:41 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#19. To: Turtle (#4)

Turtle has not had his morning coffee since he is tired of pounding the beans with a hammer,

I've done that. Went camping with the Scouts and the guy whose turn it was the buy the food had to have fresh ground beans. Sadly he forgot the grind the beans at home. Sigh. So there's Maggie, hammer in hand, smashing beans in a cast iron skillet. By God I'm going to have my coffee.


Meet the new boss, same as the old boss — The Who

farmfriend  posted on  2009-02-18   14:58:01 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#20. To: James Deffenbach, Cynicom, tom007 (#17) (Edited)

Turtle can vaporize your entire heads with the greatest of ease, not that you would miss them, since they're essentially empty anyway. You won't have any place to hang your hats, which I'm sure all of you wear with the bill backwards..

Turtle can zap all of you but good!

No place is better than Turtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-02-18   17:22:40 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#21. To: farmfriend (#18)

my flogging.

Turtle is just a gigolo and expects a check first.

Turtle did finally have his morning coffee, dark French roast.

No place is better than Turtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-02-18   17:24:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#22. To: Turtle (#20)

Turtle can zap all of you but good!

Dat you, TLBSHOW??? LOL! And if coffee fixes the typos you best get to drinking another gallon, ahaha. We won't have any to hang our hats? I'm all of you wear with the bill backwards? I don't know if you are Jabba the Hutt, Yoda, or Jar Jar Binks (or the aforementioned TLBSHOW).

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-02-18   17:29:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#23. To: James Deffenbach (#22)

Turtle was drinking his coffee while typing and it had not totally taken effect yet.

Turtle is Turtle, not OBGYN or whatever his name is.

No place is better than Turtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-02-18   17:33:50 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#24. To: Turtle (#23)

Turtle is Turtle, not OBGYN or whatever his name is.

LOL! I don't reckon he ever claimed to be a groinecologist (that is what Archie Bunker called gynecologists).

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-02-18   17:38:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#25. To: Turtle (#20)

Turtle can vaporize your entire heads with the greatest of ease, not that you would miss them, since they're essentially empty anyway. You won't have any place to hang your hats, which I'm sure all of you wear with the bill backwards..

Just had to laff.

"Satan / Cheney in "08" Just Foreign Policy Iraqi Death Estimator

tom007  posted on  2009-02-18   23:09:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#26. To: tom007 (#25) (Edited)

Just had to laff.

Laffing at Turtle will lead to your tiny, rudimentary head being vaporized!

No place is better than Turtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-02-19   7:06:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#27. To: randge, Cynicom, tom007, James Deffenbach (#7)

Turtle laffs at your attempts to hit Him with your purses.

No place is better than Turtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-02-19   17:15:10 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#28. To: Turtle (#27)

O thy majesty, the veritable shadow of God on earth, the Keeper of the Cosmic Clock, please forgive my transgressions and I will report to work at 6:00 tomorrow morning with my red hat on.

(I need to talk to you about cynicom and the girl wait staff - you may not be getting what you want out of him, but, evidently, they are).

On the other hand they are all very mellow in the morning instead of the will fulled shrews before he hired on.

"Satan / Cheney in "08" Just Foreign Policy Iraqi Death Estimator

tom007  posted on  2009-02-19   18:55:50 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#29. To: tom007 (#28) (Edited)

They must be easily satisfied gurls if they are made happy being flogged by Cyni "the Tiny" Com.

No place is better than Turtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-02-19   19:14:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#30. To: Turtle (#29)

If you saw my stable of gurls, you would shoot yourself in shame. hewhehehehehe

Cynicom  posted on  2009-02-19   19:38:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#31. To: Cynicom (#30)

If you saw my stable of gurls, you would shoot yourself in shame. hewhehehehehe

Turtle has to wear patches over both eyes to make sure he DOESN'T see any of your gurls!

No place is better than Turtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-02-19   19:56:25 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#32. To: Turtle (#31)

Here's my pack:

"Satan / Cheney in "08" Just Foreign Policy Iraqi Death Estimator

tom007  posted on  2009-02-19   23:35:57 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#33. To: tom007, Cynicom, James Deffenbach (#32)

I decided to repost this again to rub your collective noses in Turtle's greatness.

So there.

There's no place better thanTurtle Island.

Turtle  posted on  2009-06-23   7:53:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#34. To: Turtle, tom007 (#33)

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I am so olde that I forget what it was that I use to chase the gurls for.

Damn

Cynicom  posted on  2009-06-23   8:10:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#35. To: Cynicom, Turtle (#30)

If you saw my stable of gurls, you would shoot yourself in shame. hewhehehehehe

Don't mention "gurls" and "stable(s)" to Turtle, at least not in the same sentence. You HAVE seen his #1 "gurl" on that you tube video, haven't you?

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-06-23   16:38:50 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#36. To: James Deffenbach (#35)

You HAVE seen his #1 "gurl" on that you tube video, haven't you?

Yes, simply horrible.

Cynicom  posted on  2009-06-23   16:40:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#37. To: Cynicom (#36)

Must not be any laws against "dating" outside your own species where he lives. ahaha.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-06-23   16:42:59 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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