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Title: Dear President Obama, Could You Please Send Me a Stick?
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Published: Feb 19, 2009
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2009-02-19 07:20:08 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 157
Comments: 12
Dear President Obama, Since you and your administration have seen fit to bail out certain people to the tune of several trillion dollars (that's looking at it long-term, with the interest and the fact political programs rarely get cancelled), do you think it would be too much for you to send me a stick? My back goes out every once in a while, and I sure could use a stick to use as a cane. I'd rather have a nice Irish Blackthorn cane, but that cost $70 or so and I'm sure the government can't afford that much. But it sure seems one of his assistant can find an oak branch lying on the White House grounds? If you can find it in your heart, and the Federal Reserve, could you also send me a tire for my 1999 Ford Windstar van? It came with one of those donut things, and I'd rather have a real tire with a real rim. They're pretty common in junkyards, and there must be some junkyards near Washington DC. A stick and a junkyard rire. That's not too much, is it? It's not like I'm asking for a trillion dollars, like the bankers and the auto companies and who knows who else! I would appreciate it so much if you could do these things for me! I'm sure the bankers apprciate you, and will be eternally grateful if they can stop laughing what what suckers the American public are. Yours truly, Bobby
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#1. To: Turtle (#0)
hehehehehehehehehehe I asked for two tires for my third handed ole Jeep bomber. No reply yet. One has slow leak and I cant find it so costs me 75 cents a week to pump it up. No free air anymore. The other one has wire showing on sidewall. I know my problems are not nearly as great as the bankers and I see some of them have left town because they worry so much. Maybe Obongo hired the same shiftless elves that Santa hires? Everyone should send an email to our President so he will know we love him.
I carry a bottle of soapy water in my van, along with a patch kit and a foot pump. There have been times my tire's gone flat on the road, and I plugged it right there. Turtle is really, really, really smart. He sure would like to have a Irish Blackthorn cane, though. They've got big knobs on top to beat people with. The tire surgeon charged me ten bucks to tell me he could'nt find the leak. He put in at least a 1000 lb pressure and nothing showed. You think he was funnin me? Trying to sell me new tires? Our President will surely send new tires any day now.
Your heartfelt letter really touched me. So much so, that I read it to my wife. She was somewhat less than impressed. She says that if you want a cane, you should go to a Goodwill store and pony up $3 on your own for one. As far as the spare tire, she feels that is totally unreasonable and you should learn to live with what you have. God, she's a hard woman. I guess she's right though, it's not like you've been holocausted like the poor, poor, downtrodden, sweet, innocent, misunderstood banksters. They deserve everything they're getting and more. You deserve nothing, and will get nothing. Deal with it.
Turtle has a slow leak in his power steering pump, but them, the van only cost $2000. Since I only put in $2 a nonth powering steering fluid, I'm not going to fix it, unless Obama will send me a pump for free. I'll even put it on myself.
I really felt bad about your tire debacle, and was going to get with Critter, 4um's resident tire-buster, and get you some tires for free somehow (I was planning on putting the touch on Chrissy). After today's schoolin' by my wife, you can forget your tires, OM. If you continue to keep trying to steal the bankster's money from O'boingo, we might just have to have the mossad pay you a visit.
It must be terribly distressing for those nice bankers that cannot seem to find where all those nice dollars went to. I see one is so distraught he is in hiding or exile, the poor soul. Have you emailed our new President as yet????
Find some sort of deep vessel that you can fill with water...tkae the tire off and submerge it...
The tire thief tried that. He figures leak will only show when wheel is in motion, under weight.
Valve seal...
Let me know if you get your tire. I need a whole set.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
#2. To: Turtle, James Deffenbach, tom007 (#0)
#3. To: Cynicom (#2)
(Edited)
One has slow leak and I cant find it so costs me 75 cents a week to pump it up.
No place is better than Turtle Island.
#4. To: Turtle (#3)
I carry a bottle of soapy water in my van, along with a patch kit and a foot pump.
#5. To: Turtle (#0)
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
#6. To: Cynicom (#4)
No place is better than Turtle Island.
#7. To: Cynicom, Critter, Christine (#2)
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
#8. To: Esso, turtle (#5)
You deserve nothing, and will get nothing. Deal with it.
#9. To: Cynicom (#2)
One has slow leak and I cant find it
#10. To: war (#9)
#11. To: Cynicom (#10)
#12. To: Cynicom (#2)
I asked for two tires for my third handed ole Jeep bomber. No reply yet.
Lord Acton
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