Dear President Obama, Since you and your administration have seen fit to bail out certain people to the tune of several trillion dollars (that's looking at it long-term, with the interest and the fact political programs rarely get cancelled), do you think it would be too much for you to send me a stick?
My back goes out every once in a while, and I sure could use a stick to use as a cane. I'd rather have a nice Irish Blackthorn cane, but that cost $70 or so and I'm sure the government can't afford that much. But it sure seems one of his assistant can find an oak branch lying on the White House grounds?
If you can find it in your heart, and the Federal Reserve, could you also send me a tire for my 1999 Ford Windstar van? It came with one of those donut things, and I'd rather have a real tire with a real rim. They're pretty common in junkyards, and there must be some junkyards near Washington DC.
A stick and a junkyard rire. That's not too much, is it? It's not like I'm asking for a trillion dollars, like the bankers and the auto companies and who knows who else!
I would appreciate it so much if you could do these things for me! I'm sure the bankers apprciate you, and will be eternally grateful if they can stop laughing what what suckers the American public are.
Yours truly,
Bobby