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Title: Clint Eastwood goes gunning for PC killjoys by saying we should laugh at race-based jokes
Source:
The Daily Mail Online
URL Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/wor ... ng-laugh-race-based-jokes.html
Published: Feb 26, 2009
Author: Allan Hall
Post Date: 2009-02-27 22:38:35 by X-15
Keywords: None
Views: 616
Comments: 59
Clint Eastwood believes the rise of political correctness is no laughing matter. He says the world would be a better place if we could still laugh at inoffensive jokes about different races. The Hollywood actor and director, 78, said we live in constant fear of being labelled racist for simply laughing about national stereotypes. 'People have lost their sense of humour,' he told Germany's Der Spiegel magazine. 'In former times we constantly made jokes about different races. 'You can only tell them today with one hand over your mouth otherwise you will be insulted as a racist. 'I find that ridiculous. In those earlier days every friendly clique had a "Sam the Jew" or "Jose the Mexican" - but we didn't think anything of it or have a racist thought. 'It was normal that we made jokes based on our nationality or ethnicity. That was never a problem. ''I don't want to be politically correct. We're all spending too much time and energy trying to be politically correct about everything.' His comments come in a week in which BT suspended 30 call centre staff after they had circulated an Irish joke by email. BT, however, insists other serious matters were involved and that a joke was not the sole reason for the suspensions.
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#20. To: Rotara (#14)
LOL! Q: How can you tell a Jewish house at Christmas? A: Parking meter on the roof.
""I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is Mass Psychology...It's importance has been enormously increased by the growth of modern methods of propaganda...Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russel, Eugenicist and Logician
A: Smash his head with the toilet seat while he's drinking. Q: Why do mexicons buy Cabbage Patch dolls ? A: Because they come with birth certificates.
""I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is Mass Psychology...It's importance has been enormously increased by the growth of modern methods of propaganda...Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russel, Eugenicist and Logician
Q: Why is there so little great mexican literature ? A: Spray paint wasn't invented until 1950. *** Q: Why is the average age of the mexican army 40 ? A: Because they take them right out of high school. *** Q: What are the three most difficult years in a mexicans life ? A: Second grade. *** Q: What do you call a building full of mexicans ? A: Jail.
Q: What's a Jewish dilemma? A: Free ham. A: Reservations.
""I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is Mass Psychology...It's importance has been enormously increased by the growth of modern methods of propaganda...Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russel, Eugenicist and Logician
Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Mexico ? A: They don't want to wear out the donkey. *** Q: Why do mexicans wear sombreros ? A: So they have a place to put their taco when they are stealing your hubcaps.
A: Rape.
Q: What's the difference between a Jewish American Princess and poverty? A: Poverty sucks. Q: How do you get a one-armed Irishman out of a tree? A: Wave at him. ""I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is Mass Psychology...It's importance has been enormously increased by the growth of modern methods of propaganda...Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russel, Eugenicist and Logician
EVOLUTION
We've come a loooooooooooong way, baby !
Of course we ARE pigs. Hee, hee, hee! Q. How do you tell the Bride and Groom at a Polish Wedding? A. The couple in the matching Bowling Shirts. Q. How do you break up a Polish party? A. Flush the Punch Bowl. ""I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is Mass Psychology...It's importance has been enormously increased by the growth of modern methods of propaganda...Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russel, Eugenicist and Logician
A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?" "Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave. "Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL !! oink-oink *** What do urine samples and Canadian beer have in common ? The taste.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth." He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here." "That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his." Q: What would your call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A: A speech impediment.
""I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is Mass Psychology...It's importance has been enormously increased by the growth of modern methods of propaganda...Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russel, Eugenicist and Logician
So that the American idiots who tell them can understand them.
The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn’t it hot enough for you?" The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we’re from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We’re just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh." The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It’s awfully hot down here, can’t you guys feel it?" Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we’re from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We’re just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh." This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don’t get too much warm weather up there in Toronto so we’ve just got to have a cook-out when the weather’s THIS nice." The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!! The devil is dumbfounded, "I don’t understand, when I turn up the heat you’re happy. Now it’s freezing cold and you’re still happy. What is wrong with you two???" The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don’t you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup."
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."
Did you hear about the guy who was half Polish and half Mexican? He liked to spray paint his name on chain link fences.
#21. To: All (#19)
Q: How do you give a mexican a concussion ?
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#22. To: Rotara (#21)
#23. To: Original_Intent (#20)
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAhahahahahahahaha !!!!!
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#24. To: Rotara (#21)
Q: What does an Jewish American Princess make for lunch?
#25. To: Original_Intent (#24)
Heeeeeeeeeeeeehehehehehehehehe :coughing and crying: FOFLOL
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#26. To: All (#25)
Q: What do you call sex with a mexican ?
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#27. To: Rotara (#23)
Did you hear about the man who was half-Polish and half-Jewish?
He made himself an offer he couldn't understand.
#28. To: Rotara, Original_Intent (#26)
#29. To: Original_Intent (#27)
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#30. To: christine (#28)
hehehehe
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#31. To: Rotara (#26)
Did you hear about the Italian Sports Mechanic?
He fixes Basketball games.
#32. To: christine, Original_Intent (#28)
A French guest who was staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!"
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#33. To: Original_Intent (#31)
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#34. To: All (#33)
An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#35. To: Rotara (#32)
#36. To: wudidiz (#34)
Why are most Canadian jokes so short here ?
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#37. To: Original_Intent (#35)
Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#38. To: Rotara (#32)
#39. To: christine (#38)
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#40. To: Original_Intent (#27)
 | Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings. |
#41. To: Rotara (#34)
Hee, hee. Q: What are the three occasions on which an Italian man visits his priest? A: His first communion, when he gets married, and just before his electrocution. A: A Chinese prostitute. Q. Why do Mexican Low-riders have such small steering wheels? A. So, they can drive with their handcuffs on.
Q: What's yellow and goes "cheep, cheep"?
""I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is Mass Psychology...It's importance has been enormously increased by the growth of modern methods of propaganda...Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russel, Eugenicist and Logician
#42. To: christine (#38)
"Hey buddy, can you tell us where we are?" The pedestrian smiled, said "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan", and went on his way. The driver turned to his wife and said "Well, we still don't know where we are. He doesn't even speak English."
A couple from Montana decided to go to Canada for their holidays one summer. They drove north across the border, stopped at a dinosaur park, then continued northeast. After driving for a couple of days, they realized they were lost. They found a small city, and pulled over to ask a pedestrian for directions.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#43. To: Elliott Jackalope (#40)
LOL !!!!
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#44. To: Rotara (#39)
wow, what threw this thread off???
#45. To: Original_Intent (#41)
An American, an Australian and a Canadian were sitting in a bar enjoying a few beers. The American grabbed his Budweiser beer, knocked it back in one gulp, threw the glass into the air, and shot it with his handgun. As he set the gun on the bar, he said to the Australian and the Canadian, "In the great U.S. of A. we have so much money, we never drink out of the same glass twice." Next the Australian drank his Fosters beer, threw the glass into the air, and shot the glass with the Americans gun. As he was setting the gun back on the bar, he proclaimed, "In Australia, we have so much sand that glass is cheap, and we too never drink out of the same glass twice." Finally, the Canadian drank his Labatts Blue beer, grabbed the gun off the bar, and shot the American. As he was setting the gun back on the bar, he told the Australian, "In Canada, we have so many Americans, we never have to drink with the same one twice."
aaaaaaaaahahahahaha !!!
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#46. To: christine (#44)
My poor taste in humor ?? ???? ??
?
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#47. To: Elliott Jackalope (#40)
That kind of reminds me of the Italian housewife who when asked by the garbage man "any garbage today?". She replied "yes 3 bags please".
""I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is Mass Psychology...It's importance has been enormously increased by the growth of modern methods of propaganda...Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russel, Eugenicist and Logician
#48. To: Original_Intent, Rotara, Elliott Jackalope (#47)
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
#49. To: christine (#48)
Temperature Conversion Guide for Canadians 50 ABOVE Celsius --Vancouverites try to turn on the heat 40 ABOVE Celsius --Victorians shiver uncontrollably 35 ABOVE Celsius --Italian cars won't start 32 ABOVE Celsius --Distilled water freezes 15 ABOVE Celsius --Quebecers begin to evacuate the province Zero ---------Toronto landlords finally turn up the heat 10 BELOW Celsius --People in Vancouver cease to exist 20 BELOW Celsius --Calgarians fly away to Mexico 40 BELOW Celsius --Hamilton disintegrates 60 BELOW Celsius --Mt. St. Helene's freezes 80 BELOW Celsius --Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica 100 BELOW Celsius --Santa Claus abandons the North Pole 173 BELOW Celsius --Ethyl alcohol freezes 297 BELOW Celsius --Microbial life survives on dairy products 460 BELOW Celsius --ALL atomic motion stops 500 BELOW Celsius --Hell freezes overLOLOLOLOLOL ! Abe gonnagitu !!!!
--Manitobans plant gardens
--Winnipeggers sunbathe
--Winnipeggers drive with the windows down
--Winnipeg's water gets thicker
20 ABOVE Celsius --Torontonians wear coats, gloves & wool hats
--Manitobans throw on a t-shirt
--Manitobans go swimming
--Manitobans have the last cookout before it gets cold
--Manitobans lick flagpoles
--Manitobans throw on a light jacket
--Manitobans rent some videos
--Winnipeg Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door
--Manitoban Boy Scouts postpone "winter survival"
classes until it gets cold enough
--Winnipeggers pull down their ear flaps
--Manitobans get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg
--Manitoban cows complain of farmers with cold hands
--Manitobans start saying "cold 'nuff for ya?"
-The Winnipeg Blue Bombers win the Grey Cup
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#50. To: All my hoser piker buddies Up North (#49)
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Canadian. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Canadian too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not a Canadian." "Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud American," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is an American. "Well, my mom and dad are Americans, so I'm an American too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Canadian."
One for the road - for all my piker friends out there..
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#51. To: Rotara (#45)
A Texan visits a bar in the Yukon and is enjoying a beer and a shot. The old Sourdough next to him says I hear you Texans think you're pretty tough. The Texan straightens up and says in Texas we drink our whiskey and throw Rattlesnakes. The old Sourdough looks at him and says "well in the Yukon you aren't a man if'n you can't chug a fifth of wrassle a Grizzly Bear and rape and Eskimo Woman. So, the Texan looks at him, orders a fifth of whiskey which he proceeds to down in one shot and then heads for the door. The old Sourdough turns back to his cronies and says "well I think that's the last we'll see of him". About 4 hours later the Texan comes dragging back into the bar torn and bleeding with his clothes shredded. The old Sourdough looks up at him with a question mark on his face, and then Texan looks him in the eye and says "now where's that Eskimo Woman you wanted me to wrassle?"
""I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is Mass Psychology...It's importance has been enormously increased by the growth of modern methods of propaganda...Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russel, Eugenicist and Logician
#52. To: christine (#48)
How many Jews can you fit in a Volswagon? Three in front, 4 in back, and 5,999,993 in the ashtray.
""I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is Mass Psychology...It's importance has been enormously increased by the growth of modern methods of propaganda...Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russel, Eugenicist and Logician
#53. To: Rotara, christine, Elliot Jackalope (#50)
How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight?
He enters a duck.
How can you tell if a Pole is present?
He bets money on the duck.
How can you tell if an Italian is present?
The duck wins.
""I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is Mass Psychology...It's importance has been enormously increased by the growth of modern methods of propaganda...Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russel, Eugenicist and Logician
#54. To: Original_Intent (#52)
lol
Three in front, 4 in back, and 5,999,993 in the ashtray.
#55. To: Original_Intent (#53)
LOL !
How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight?
He enters a duck.
How can you tell if a Pole is present?
He bets money on the duck.
How can you tell if an Italian is present?
The duck wins.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#56. To: christine (#48) (Edited)
My goodness ... I'll have mine with extra motzo balls please, hold the screams.
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
I wouldn't go to war again as I have done to protect some lousy investment of the bankers. There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights. War for any other reason is simply a racket.
General Smedley Butler
#57. To: Rotara (#49)
lmao
460 BELOW Celsius --ALL atomic motion stops --Manitobans start saying "cold 'nuff for ya?"
"It is like a trance. So what can break a trance? The only thing that can break the trance is the light of truth."
~ Canadian Philosopher John McMurtry as he comments on the psychological warfare that has afflicted us all
#58. To: christine (#48)
;-)
_________________________________________________________________________
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
#59. To: X-15 (#58)
you should see the ones i didn't post ;P
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