* Dogs don't cry. * Dogs love it when your friends come over.
* Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
* Dogs think you sing great.
* A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
* Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late.
* The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
* Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
* Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
* Dogs are excited by rough play.
* Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
* Dogs understand that farts are funny.
* Dogs love red meat.
* Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
* Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
* If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
* Dogs don't shop.
* Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
* A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
* Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
* A dog's parents never visit.
* Dogs love long car trips.
* Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
* Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
* When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
*Dogs like beer.
* Dogs don't hate their bodies.
* No dog ever bought a Kenny G, Cher, or Barbara Streisand album.
* No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
* Dogs don't watch Richard Simmons, Oprah, or Phil.
* Dogs never criticize.
* Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
* Dogs never expect gifts.
* It's legal to keep a dog in a little house in the backyard.
* Dogs don't worry about germs.
* Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've ever been in love with.
* Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
* Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
* Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
* You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
* Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
* Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
* Dogs never want foot-rubs.
* Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
* Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
* Dogs can't talk.
* Dogs seldom outlive you.
Poster Comment:
Turtle drives women insane by peeing in the backyard (live in a rural area), eating cold chili out of a can, sleeping on the couch, and throwing his clothes on the floor,
Turtle's dog NEVER complains about these things.