[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help] 

Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

HOLY SH*T…😂😂😂 82% of Western Expats in Thailand Lose EVERYTHING – Here’s Why Scientists discovered an Ominous sign that the Supervolcano is building up to an eruption ! Cash Jordan: 13 supermarkets closing in Milwaukee 10 Examples That Show That Our Society Is Going Completely Insane Tsunami Alerts Triggered, Japan Issues Evacuation Warning After 8.7 Earthquake Hits In Russian Waters Elon Musk To Cincinnati Police Chief: Clarify "Missing Context" Or Resign Israel & the US Just Exposed China’s Military SCAM Commie Corruption in China led to floods in Beijing Man Needs Penis Amputated After Botched Botox Procedure Interesting story (EPA) The media is claiming an "Indiana Man" was arrested for child abuse Quercetin and Yogurt with active cultures fight cancer Illiterate Arab Terrorist Published a Front Page Editorial in NY Times "These are the people that were on Epstein Island..."(Pritzker, Gates, Colbert, Oprah)) Inside The World Of Billionaire Islands CNN wants to protect ‘certain narratives’ amid NYC mass shooting White Woman Viciously Assaulted By Mob in Cincinnati Breaks Her Silence Cash Jordan: ICE Blocks Highway... Deports 'Entire Armada' of Migrant Drivers Richard Werner Exposes the Evils of the Fed & the Link Between Banking, War, and the CIA BILL GATES: PUTTING RNA IN ALL YOUR FOOD IS CLIMATE CHANGE! Trump talks the migrant invasion right in front of Starmer: Etiwanda School District in CA FIRED two teachers for reporting cases of child sex abuse. Covid protocol: They executed a young woman with Down's Syndrome Samsung's Texas Fab To Build Tesla's Next-Gen AI Chips In 'Made-in-USA' Push The Reptile Hero of MAGA (Peter Thiel) Justice Department Will Monitor Local Investigation of Vicious Attack on White People in Cincinnati New Poll: Democrats' Rating Collapses To Generational Low As Midterm Cycle Nears 5 Bad Cars The U.K. is F*CKED (Pub Owners are liable for speech of drunks)

4play
See other 4play Articles

Title: Washington Post's Mensa invitational (Humor)
Source: [None]
URL Source: Http://None.net
Published: Mar 30, 2009
Author: Staff
Post Date: 2009-03-30 20:34:26 by Horse
Keywords: None
Views: 86
Comments: 1

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa invitational - which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6.. Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.

8. Sarchasm (n..): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido (n..): All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at two or three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2.. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v.. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n.. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16.. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  

#1. To: Horse (#0)

these are clever ;)

christine  posted on  2009-04-01   17:31:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help]