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Title: Only In America
Source:
America
URL Source: [None]
Published: Apr 18, 2009
Author: Americans
Post Date: 2009-04-18 11:32:03 by HAPPY2BME-4UM
Keywords: America
Views: 261
Comments: 12
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER ... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.
Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
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#1. To: All (#0)
Whoa...way worse than I thought.
Why do you put shipment in a car and cargo on a ship?
We need to spend even more money on education. That'll fix it../s I bet they didn't need to look far and wide to find these morons. BOMB CANADA! .
Click for Privacy and Preparedness files
Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway? Why do we call them hot water heaters? Shouldn't it be cold water heaters? Why is abbreviation such a long word? Is there another word for synonym? Why do we call asteroids asteroids and hemmorhoids hemmorhoids? Isn't that ass-backwards? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Why do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive? Why does a 'slight tax increase' cost you $200 and a 'substantial tax cut' save you 30 cents? If you try to fail, and succeed, which of these have you done? Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before he is considered assassinated instead of just murdered? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? How come we choose from just two people for president and fifty for Miss America? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does that mean the fifth one enjoys it? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour"?
The English language is a beautifully flowing tonge capable of articulating everything from the birth of a child to the colors of the rainbow to the beauty of a dawn or sunset to the tranquility of a lullaby. Now we're gearing up for Spanglish.
Take the DUMB Test
Does a house burn 'up' or 'down'?
I've always wondered when a "true patriot" like Dubya gets horny and his wife isn't around does he satisfy himself by "yankin' his doodle dandy"?
=========================== For the answer to that question, we defer to the United States Congress . .
English is a tonge which no one can spel.
Join 2x4 Tuesdays & protect your RKBA.
#2. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#1)
Amerikans are NOT stupid, damn it!
#3. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#1)
Dancing Turtles and Bouncing Boobs...that's Turtle Island.
#4. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#1)
#5. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#1)
#6. To: bush_is_a_moonie (#5)
#7. To: bush_is_a_moonie (#5)
tonge tongue the power of communication through speech
#8. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#1)
#9. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#7)
#10. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#6)
#11. To: Itistoolate (#9)
Does a house burn 'up' or 'down'?
UNITED STATES CONGRESS
#12. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#7)
www.righttokeepandbeararms.com
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