Exclusive: We Have Acquired A Copy Of Joe Biden's Debate Prep Notes

Source: Babylon Bee
Published: Sep 28, 2020
Author: Babylon Bee
Post Date: 2020-09-29 00:25:00 by Bill D Berger
Views: 742

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a daring feat of undercover journalism, The Babylon Bee's embedded DC reporter has acquired a leaked copy of Joe Biden's debate prep notes. We are proud to introduce them to the world for the first time. Please enjoy. Many undercover journalists died to bring us this information. 

Here they are in all their glory:

The pictured scan has been translated for you below: 

(page 1)

My Debate Notes:

Reminder: You are JOE BIDEN and you are running for PRESIDENT

You're from SCRANTON

You used to be VP with Obama

ORANGE MAN BAD

Answer Key:

  • Hunter & Ukraine = "Come on, man!"
  • Taxes & Jobs = "Look, here's the deal."
  • Emergency use only = "You're a lying, dog-faced pony soldier!"
  • If you get lost = "You know, the thing!"

Reminders:

  • Tug on your left ear and Chris Wallace will throw you a softball
  • Go backstage between commercials for MORE DRUGS!
  • Don't forget to tell Corn Pop story

Ideas:

  • Push up contest?
  • Punching and slapping? 

(page 2)

Give the Gettyzburg Address!

(complete transcript of the Gettysburg Address)

My favorite Hair (for inspiration)

(three doodles of women with different hairstyles)

**NO SNIFFING OF HAIR**

(even if you want to)

The Babylon Bee was also able to acquire Trump's debate prep notes, but it was just a napkin on which he had written, "You are amazing, go get 'em tiger!" 

Post Comment   Private Reply

#1: NeoconsNailed    To: Bill D Berger (#0)

Fun! How do you suppose he came up with 'lying dog-faced pony soldier' -- does it have any basis in history, culture or whatever?

NeoconsNailed posted on 2020-09-29 02:54:37   Reply   Private Reply

#2: DWornock    To: Bill D Berger (#0)

Since the public will never see the complete debate and will never know the truth of what is actually happening to assist him, Biden will do well in the debate. Before the debate, he will be given a list of the questions with answers and, even so, all he as to do is read the answers on the teleprompter on top of his podium. Also, there will be a two-minute delay in the broadcast.

If Biden makes a mistake, his mistake will be edited out during which time the camera will show the moderators saying Trump didn't answer his question or something negative about Trump.

DWornock posted on 2020-09-29 05:37:50   Reply   Private Reply

#3: Bill D Berger    To: NeoconsNailed (#1)

How do you suppose he came up with 'lying dog-faced pony soldier' -- does it have any basis in history, culture or whatever?

Joe Biden claims 'lying dog-faced pony soldier' joke is from John Wayne film

Bill D Berger posted on 2020-09-29 05:59:33   Reply   Private Reply

#4: Lod    To: Bill D Berger (#0)

Great stuff to begin Debate Day prep. Thanks.

Lod posted on 2020-09-29 07:23:01   Reply   Private Reply

#5: BTP Holdings    To: DWornock (#2)

If Biden makes a mistake, his mistake will be edited out during which time the camera will show the moderators saying Trump didn't answer his question or something negative about Trump.

You must be psychic to be able to tell the future like that.

But I have no doubt the compliant MSM will do everything in their power to make Biden look good and Trump look bad.

After all, Trump was the outsider who broke the control of the Clinton Crime Cult and caused the deep state to scurry to cover their asses. ;)

BTP Holdings posted on 2020-09-29 11:48:57   Reply   Private Reply

#6: NeoconsNailed    To: Bill D Berger (#3)

He says that, but like everything else he says it makes no sense.

He's always been a swaggering, arrogant bustard, and now he's a swaggering, arrogant retard.

NeoconsNailed posted on 2020-09-29 14:34:54   Reply   Private Reply

#7: DWornock    To: BTP Holdings (#5)

I'm not at all psychic but, like you, I know mainstream media will do everything they can to help Biden, and if, as I believe, Biden has dementia, that seems to me to be the most likely way to make it appear that Biden shines during the debate.

DWornock posted on 2020-09-29 15:37:23   Reply   Private Reply

#8: Fred Mertz    To: Bill D Berger (#0)

Very funny stuff.

I may even tune in tonight, so thanks for the reminder too.

Fred Mertz posted on 2020-09-29 15:52:41   Reply   Private Reply

#9: NeoconsNailed    To: Bill D Berger (#3)

He says that, but like everything else he says it makes no sense.

He's always been a swaggering, arrogant bustard, and now he's a swaggering, arrogant retard.

NeoconsNailed posted on 2020-09-29 18:55:49   Reply   Private Reply

#10: BTP Holdings    To: DWornock (#7)

during the debate.

Are you watching it now? ;)

BTP Holdings posted on 2020-09-29 21:41:41   Reply   Private Reply