WASHINGTON, D.C.First Lady Jill Biden has announced that the White House has welcomed a new pet, a cat named Willow. Initial reports indicate that things are not going quite as planned from Willows perspective, as she is blamed for all the messes on the Oval Office carpet.
What on Earth is that foul odor in here?! said Chief Of Staff Ronald Klain walking into the Oval Office. It smells absolutely horrific!
Oh um, well see, that's just our uh new cat Willow, said Biden nervously trying to cover up the considerably large stain for a young kitten. Weve been trying to potty train her, but she just keeps having accidents. What can you do? Heh!
Despite only living in the Oval Office for a few days, Willow has already been blamed for numerous "accidents" on the Oval Office carpet. Some of Willows messes have even occurred when she wasnt even around the Oval Office that day.
Sources claim that while Willow was initially honored and excited about being the White Houses First Feline Of The United States, the cat is now suspecting shes just there as a scapegoat.
At publishing time, Willow had somehow managed to ruin the carpet on Air Force One.
#1: Esso To: All (#0)
FAKE MASKS WORLDWIDE
FAQ | Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Do these masks stop the spread or protect you from Covid-19?
A: No. Our masks do not stop the spread of COVID-19 and will not protect you from it either.
Q: Do you ship to Canada?
A: Yes, but we urge you to purchase through our exclusive Canadian distributor, www.oxyflowpro.com/ for ultra fast and free shipping to Canada.
Q: Wheres my order?
A: After you've placed your order with us - We then send out an automated email which contains your order details. Once shipped, a second email with tracking information will be sent.
If you are unable to see this email, we advise you to check your spam folder - as it may be automatically directed there.
If you are still unable to view your order - you can use our live customer service feature on this website for more information and assistance. Or, use our contact us form on our website to send us an email and our team will get back to you shortly.
Q: How long will it take to get my order?
STANDARD USPS SHIPPING
A: Estimated delivery time is between 3-5 business days from the time of shipment. You can track your order using the tracking number that is sent via email at the time of your purchase.
UPS EXPEDITED SHIPPING
A: All UPS expedited orders are processed immediately within business hours.
All orders are then processed and prepared with fulfillment. All UPS expedited orders are shipped with UPS 2-Day Air shipping.
Estimated delivery time is between 24-48 business hours from the time of shipment. You can track your order using the tracking number that is sent via email at the time of your purchase.
Please Note: We ship out incoming orders Monday-Friday during business hours.
ACCEPTED METHODS OF PAYMENT
Q: What methods of payment do you accept?
A: We accept the following methods of payment (Listed Below)
Visa
Mastercard
Amex
Discover
JB Card
Diners Club
MASK MATERIALS
Q: What are your masks made out of?
A:
Adjustable/Double Incognito: 90% nylon / 10% spandex **extremely soft!!**
Incognito Mask: 90% nylon / 10% spandex **extremely soft!!** *This also includes our X-Small Sizes (Double/Incognito)*
Offensively Fake Mask: 100% polyester
All of our masks are proudly made in the USA!
Q: What is the size of the mask?
A: Ear to Ear
Adjustable Double Incognito: 9 Inches to 16 Inches
Double Incognito: 12.5 Inches
Incognito: 12.5 inches
Offensive: 11.5 inches
Double X-Small: 9.5 Inches
X-Small: 9.5 inches
BULK ORDERS
Q: Do you offer bulk purchasing options?
A: We do offer bulk purchasing options.
You must purchase 50+ units (Masks) to receive wholesale pricing - Pricing list below.
Incognito: $4.00 Per Unit
Offensive: $4.00 Per Unit
X-Small Double Incognito: $4.00 Per Unit
X-Small Incognito: $4.00 Per Unit
Double Incognito: $4.00 Per Unit
Adjustable Double Incognito: $5.00 Per Unit
Gaiter: $6.00 Per Unit
CARE INSTRUCTIONS
Q: How do I wash my masks?
A: Listed below are our recommendations on how to care for your Fake Mask.
Our 'Offensively Fake Mask' is more delicate, hand wash extremely delicately & lay flat to dry.
Our 'Double/Incognito Fake Mask' is OK to machine wash (we would recommend a more delicate cycle) & lay flat to dry or tumble dry low.
Our 'The Real-Fake Neck Gaiter' is OK to machine wash (we would recommend a more delicate cycle) & lay flat to dry or tumble dry low.
Esso posted on 2022-02-01 14:01:26 Reply Private Reply